Chapter 16
Riot St. James
It was after three in the morning. I heard the light cut on in the bathroom, so I jumped up out of my sleep, looking at the digital clock that was on Dolo’s side of the room. It was resting on his nightstand.
Dolo didn’t come in last night. I went to bed without him.
These past few days, he’s taken a break from the business, allowing Bray, myself, and Kendrick to run it.
He would spend his mornings and afternoons at the hospital with Diego.
At night, he had his ears to the streets, and he would go hunting.
It didn’t take long for us to find out that it was Elijah and Elias that had shot Diego.
It wasn’t one of those findings that were placed in our hands though.
It was one of those things where we were able to put two, and two together.
It was all over Miami that Elias had been killed.
No one really posted any information about it, but I’m sure he was killed by one of my bullets.
I know that’s what happened. I sent too many rounds into that car that night for him to not have died.
It was two of them in that car, and I know my aim was good enough to hit at least one.
I think we all know why he wanted the funeral arrangements.
The family was protecting it though. It wasn’t something that was getting advertised on social media.
Usually, when a big name dies in Miami, you would hear the radio stations talking about it, it would be plastered all over social media, but none of those things were happening with Elias arrangements.
I knew that Dolo would find out about it though, and when he rounded up his men, and he decided to come up with a plan, I wanted to be in on it too.
I might not have gotten shot that night with Diego, but I was shot at, and I wanted to get in on the gun action as well.
I stood from the bed. I felt around, turning on the lamp that was sitting on the nightstand.
I turned it on, and my house shoes that were on the side of the bed, I slipped into them.
I wanted to check on Dolo and see how he was doing tonight.
He hasn’t been himself these days. That was expected though. He almost lost his brother.
The two of us were barely around each other these days because he would be at the hospital a good number of hours, and then he would be gone all night, while I was working. Mitch had been driving me around. He was the one taking me from place to place, getting me where I needed to be.
The bathroom door was cracked, so I was able to lean against the wall, and watch him.
He was sitting in the middle of the bathroom, down on my vanity chair.
I didn’t do makeup or anything like that for me to have my own vanity chair, but the bathroom counters were designed with the Jack-and-Jill sinks, and on my side, there was an open area for a small vanity chair to go.
Now that I was living here, Dolo bought one for me, and I would often sit there whenever I was trying to style my hair.
That’s what he was sitting on. He was still in his street clothes.
Dressed in all black, with two of his guns sitting on top of the counter.
His shoes were off, but his socks were still on.
His hands were in his lap, with his head down.
I could tell from his body language that he was defeated.
The defeat that he had going on right now was so loud.
I truly hated seeing him like this, so that’s when I removed myself from leaning against the wall, and I chose to walk over to him.
The second I walked in, he glanced over at me. I haven’t gotten a smile out of him in a few days, so when I walked in, and he gave me a tad bit of a smile, he did make me a little happy. He stuck his hands out, like how you would do with a baby when you were trying to get them to come to you.
I walked over to him, stood right in front of him, and like second nature for him, he reached his arms out, placing them on my butt.
I straddled his lap, locked my arms around his neck, and for a few seconds, I just stared at him.
You saw the pain in his eyes behind those glasses.
Dolo was relieved that Diego was still alive, but he was for sure living with a lot of guilt right now.
He was blaming himself for the shooting, which is the reason he’s been so down lately.
“I know it’s hard right now because you’re in your head, thinking about all the what ifs.
Your probably driving yourself crazy, wondering what would have happened if Diego didn’t make it out alive.
He did make it out alive though, Dolo. That’s the part that should soothe you.
He’s going to have a long journey of recovery ahead of him, but Diego is going to be fine.
You know that,” I said to him, removing my arms from around his neck, and I placed my hands in his hair, running it through his soft, full curls.
I knew he loved it when I would play in his hair.
He’s told me that before. I would usually do it at night, when we were lying in bed together.
“I can’t help but to feel guilty, you know?
Every morning when I go down to that hospital to see him, that shit eats at me.
I brought him into this dope game. My parents had already accepted that I was going to hustle, but they tried to save my brother.
He wanted to do his own thing though and follow behind me.
It’s fuckin with my mind, seeing him hooked up to all those machines.
He’s confined to a bed right now, and I’m so used to my brother being on the move, never wanting to sit down.
This afternoon really fucked me up though.
They had to change the dressing on his wound.
I can’t get his cries out of my head. Nigga was in there screaming.
I felt useless, bae. Wasn’t shit I could do as his big brother to help him.
That’s eating at me,” Dolo shared with me, and it made me sad hearing him talk like this.
I hated that he was blaming himself for it.
The things he was saying to me reminded me of some of the things that I’ve heard my mom say out loud over the years.
Growing up, when she would start missing my dad, one of the things that I’ve heard her cry to her parents, or to her sisters was that Grim might have still been here if she didn’t need him to come to the salon that morning to drop me off to get my hair done.
Every time she would say that, everyone would always tell her that she couldn’t blame herself for that because it was my dad that wanted me to have my hair braided that morning.
The plan was for him to take me out later that night.
Then, with my brother, she would often question if he would still be here if she would have moved out of Miami after my father was killed. I knew what it felt like to watch someone take blame for something that was beyond their control. Dolo was doing exactly that.
I took my hands out of his hair, so that I could place a hand under his chin, forcing him to look up, and look me in the eyes. His eyes were watery behind his glasses. His face was so handsome. As down as he was right now, I still couldn’t help but to admire him.
“You’re going to drive yourself crazy trying to put all this blame on yourself.
You don’t have any kind of control over grown people.
Diego could have still loved you, and looked up to you, but chose to go in a different route.
He didn’t though. The hustle was in him, just as much as it was in you, and that’s why he chose to live this life.
He chose the life that ya’ll grew up around.
He saw your daddy do it. He saw the money that he could make from living this life, and that’s what he chose.
When I look at you these days, I’m not looking at you as a man that’s at fault for anything.
I see a man that’s been at that hospital every single day.
Your losing out on sleep. You’re not eating.
You can’t blame yourself for that,” I voiced, and he dropped a tear, sitting here, trying his best to keep it to himself.
Crazy how the roles were reversed right now.
I’m not going to sit here, and act like I’m always crying, but I do have my days when I get emotional, shed a few tears, and Dolo has always been the one to dry my tears away.
He’s always the one nurturing me, trying to remind me of who I am, and letting me know that everything was going to be okay.
I was pouring into my man right now in the same manner that he’s poured into me multiple times in the past.
“Diego is still here. You still have plenty of time left to live with him. Time to love on him and go through this journey of healing with him. Consider that a blessing. Everyone doesn’t have that outcome,” I finished, letting go of his chin, so that I could kiss him on his forehead.
It took him less than a minute to get it together.
“Thank you, baby,” he said to me in appreciation. Instead of responding back to him, I chose to lean in, and I kissed him on his lips.
That’s all I was really trying to do. He was the one to slip his tongue in my mouth, and we had a passionate make out session.
We haven’t kissed like this in days. It was the kind of kiss that made me dizzy when we finished.
I didn’t want to get anything started in here, so I pulled away from him, laying my head on his chest.
“I have a location for the candlelight that their having for Elias. It’s intimate. Just for the family, and some of his friends,” he said, after a few minutes of silence went by.
Hearing him say that, I sat up and looked him in his eyes. I already knew what he was saying to me, without him verbally saying it. He had the location for the candlelight, and he was going to make a move with that.