Chapter 20
“I should have opened the window and thrown something at them,” Rosa said as Razor unwrapped her finger a few minutes later. She’d huddled like a complete wimp under the dashboard.
“That sounds like an extremely bad idea. I prefer my patients have zero injuries, but if one is coming to see me with one problem, adding more potential and avoidable wounds is preferable,” Razor said before Street could respond, not glancing up from his task.
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, Little girl. Everyone thinks you’re brave. Surviving to fight another day is smarter than risking yourself when you’re injured and badly outnumbered,” Street said, sending her a serious glance.
Rosa slumped slightly as she sat on the table. They were right. She would have caused a bunch more problems if she’d done anything like that. “I hate being helpless,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry you felt that way,” Street said, running his fingers through her hair.
“If some insider knowledge makes you feel any better, Pirate texted that the police ticketed eleven of the Ravagers. While I’m sure most probably already had a record with the police, their list of crimes just got longer.
We won’t know about it, but a judge is going to take all those offenses into consideration someday and throw the book at them. ”
“Not soon enough,” Rosa said.
“Probably not.” Street rubbed her spine reassuringly. “For us, we got out of the traffic jam without the Ravagers seeing you. I’m sure they think you’ve skipped town and aren’t looking for you.”
“I don’t like cowering. You know—in the car but also sheltering in the Devil Daddies’ territory.”
“Are you hiding here, or have you moved on with your life?” Razor asked, meeting Rosa’s gaze directly. When she didn’t answer immediately, he told her Daddy, “Street, this is a surface burn. Keep some of this medicine on the blistered flesh to ease the soreness.”
She thought about Razor’s question for a minute as the MC doctor dabbed burn cream on her finger.
Her entire world had changed incredibly over the last weeks since she’d risked warning Street in that bar.
She’d worked at that awful job and rented a horrendous room.
Back then, having friends was virtually impossible.
She’d worked as much as possible to survive.
Even if she’d had free time, Rosa wouldn’t have had money to do anything.
Clearing her throat, she broke the silence in the room. “Well… I hadn’t thought of living here like that. Here I have wonderful people to enjoy and opportunities. I have Daddy and my new friends. I like my classes and the other students. Inferno is a blast. Street’s house is amazing,” Rosa said.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Rosa,” Street told her.
“I am.” Rosa studied Razor as he bandaged her finger again. “You’re pretty good at helping people think through things.”
“I just ask questions. You’re the one that did all the tough work,” Razor said as he fastened the gauze with smiley face tape. “Have you thought about coming to talk to me about your childhood?”
“I don’t know if I want to remember all that unhappiness.”
“You’ll never decide to put the past behind you fully if you don’t deal with the trauma.”
Razor’s quiet statement made a lot of sense. Still, Rosa didn’t want to think about the past. “I’m scared, Razor. Maybe I’m all fucked up because I did something awful that I don’t remember. My mom had to choose her new family over me for a reason.”
“Dinorosa…,” Street began but fell silent as Razor interrupted.
“Perhaps you made a mistake,” Razor agreed. “But you were a kid and kids should get a chance to fix things. Or maybe you were totally innocent of any bad moves and someone else is the bad guy or girl? Perhaps it’s time to take back your power. You know…. If you’re interested.”
Hope blossomed inside Rosa. Every day, fear lived inside her that Street would realize that she was no good. Street never looked at Rosa or treated her as if she were a problem or too much work. He enjoyed spending time with her and taking care of her.
“Could we try talking? Maybe next week.”
“Your Daddy is going to walk over to Inferno and get you a milkshake because I’m afraid your blood sugar is low after your encounter with the Ravagers. What would you like most? Chocolate? Strawberry?” Razor asked.
“I can go too,” Rosa suggested, sitting up straight eagerly.
“How about you stay and chat to me for a few minutes? Let’s get started before those worries flitting around in your brain scare you.”
Rosa met Street’s gaze, silently pleading for him to whisk her away. Her best “get me out of this” look failed when he suggested, “How about if I jog over there, Dinorosa?”
“Check out the power you have, Rosa. Your Daddy never moves that fast. We could time him,” Razor joked.
“Okay. I guess I can answer a few questions. If you think remembering will help,” she said.
“Tell me when to go, Little girl,” Street said, waving at the large clock in the exam room.
She waited until the second hand reached the twelve and said, “Go, Daddy. Chocolate.”
“On my way!” He took off, running out of the exam room. His boots skidded on the tile floor, leaving black marks.
Razor stood and rubbed the bottom of his sneakers over the closest mark. When he lifted his foot, the black spot had disappeared. “My own erasers. In the next remodel, I’ll ask for a black floor. Want to hop down and get rid of that one?” he asked, pointing at a long streak.
“Sure,” Rosa agreed and slid to stand on the floor.
“What’s your favorite memory from your childhood?” he asked as she worked to erase the tracks.
“A picnic with my mom and dad by an enormous lake. I think that was the last time I saw him well. Cancer.”
“I’m sorry, Rosa. Maybe you’ll tell me about him someday.”
“I’d enjoy that. I don’t want him to disappear from my memories.”
“Then we’ll do that,” Razor promised. “Hey. What was your favorite food in the basket?”
“Mom brought these huge dill pickles for me. I used to love them,” Rosa said.
“Not now?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess. I remember being so tickled that she’d included a treat only I liked.”
“That is special. Tell me something else she did just for you.”
“She made me a dress that matched hers. They were brown with light pink polka dots, and we both wore pink ribbons in our hair.”
“Whatever happened to that dress?”
Rosa glanced up at the ceiling, trying to invent a story he would believe.
She couldn’t think of a good way to spin it, so she admitted, “Eventually, the dress didn’t fit me.
Mom gave it to my stepfather’s daughter, and they wore the matching outfits to parties.
” Rosa could still remember watching them leave without her.
She understood at that moment that her mother’s affection belonged to someone else.
“Did she make you another one?” Razor asked.
“No. I didn’t need anything. I wasn’t invited to the party.”
“Why not?”
“That was his family.”
“Did his daughter do things with your mother?” Razor asked, moving to the next mark.
“Of course. Mom liked Stephanie a lot.”
When Razor didn’t ask a follow-up question, Rosa blurted, “Stephanie needed Mom more than I did.”
“Who decided that?”
“What do you mean?” Rosa asked.
“Who said that first? That Stephanie needed your mom more?”
She thought for a few minutes as they moved into the hallway. Rosa sighed. More black marks. She got busy rubbing her sole over them.
“I think my stepfather did.” He’d taken over Rosa’s bedtime routine, hurrying her through brushing her teeth and making her shower instead of splashing in the bath so Stephanie could have the tub.
She made the mistake of getting up for a glass of water.
Rosa saw the three of them playing with the bubbles and the toys.
They’d looked like the perfect family you saw on TV or in the movies.
When he’d spotted her in the doorway, her stepfather had dragged Rosa back to bed and had fastened the covers tight around her so she couldn’t free herself.
Nobody had come to help her when she needed to use the toilet.
They’d kept Rosa home from her classes the next day to scrub the mattress.
Alone at school with no one to stop her, Stephanie had delighted in sharing with everyone that Rosa had wet the bed.
“Want to tell me what happened?” Razor asked.
“You already know. My stepfather tucked me in bed and made sure I stayed there.”
“Perhaps someday you’ll decide your families’ actions had more to do with their personal failings than anything you did. You were a child. They were the adults. And their bad actions that followed are totally on them. A kid, especially one grieving the loss of their father, is never to blame.”
“One chocolate milkshake, triply beaten up by my not-so-smooth running gait,” Street announced. She darted toward him and threw her arms around his waist. “Are you okay, Dinorosa?”
“Yeah,” she said, nodding. Airing all that had wiped her out emotionally. To her surprise, Rosa felt lighter as well. As if sharing her secrets removed their power to weigh her down. She glanced back at Razor and whispered, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Rosa.” He turned his attention to Street, “I think you need to get matching outfits for the barbecue. It’s going to be at our house next week. Maybe the same color of the Inferno T-shirt, with jeans and pink sneakers,” Razor suggested.
“Daddy doesn’t have shoes that color,” Rosa protested, laughing at the thought.
“Pale or neon? I’ve always wanted pink sneakers. No one at the warehouse would steal them from my locker,” Street said, without missing a beat.
“Pale, Daddy,” popped out of her mouth before she could stop the words.
“Let’s go drink your milkshake, and we can shop online,” Street suggested.
“I have to share my chocolate shake?” she asked, grinning at him mischievously.
“You don’t have to, but I did expend a ton of calories running. Where’d all the black marks come from?” Street asked.
Rosa met Razor’s gaze. The two exchanged a silent message of exasperation. That silliness reminded her of the safe home she had here. This place was full of allies. She smiled at him. “I could probably schedule another appointment with you to talk. You know, if you want to?”
“Next week, after you return from class?” he suggested.
“I’d like that, Razor.”
A loud slurp drew her attention back to her Daddy. He was drinking her milkshake! “Bad Daddy!”
Street held out the treat. “Ready to go home, Little girl?”
“Please.”
Street met Razor’s gaze over her head. “Thanks, Razor.”
“My pleasure. And Street?”
“Yes?”
“Order pink ribbons to match,” Razor told him.
Rosa bounced with happiness on her toes. This would be so much fun. Just wait until her friends saw them.
“Of course. Come on, Little girl,” Street said, guiding her toward the door.
Feeling more hopeful than she had for a long time, Rosa glanced over her shoulder at Razor. “See you next week.”
“No more accidents, Rosa,” Razor told her firmly.
She grinned at him and waved. Coming to the doctor wasn’t too bad.