34. Crying at Baseball
THIRTY-FOUR
CRYING AT BASEBALL
ISABELLA
My phone buzzes on the coffee table, pulling my attention away from the game on the TV.
It’s game one of the World Series.
The Suns played like hell through their playoff matchups and made it to the World fucking Series. I’m so proud of them, and it makes me so happy knowing how much they all want this. Especially Ryan.
Fucking Ryan.
He switched his walk-up song again.
He’s been using “I Miss You” by blink-182 since their first division playoff game against San Francisco.
What a terrible hype song. But I know he’s not using it to be a hype song. He’s using it for me.
I cry every time he’s up at bat. Needless to say, I’ve looked a hot mess for the last three weeks.
It feels wrong to not be there. Either working or just attending to support him.
It’s practically around the corner. After tomorrow’s game, they’ll head to New York for three games where it could either end if someone wins four games, or they come back here for the last two games.
It’s best of seven, and as much as I want them to make quick work of the series against New York, I secretly hope they come back to win it at home.
Thankfully, he’s not up at bat right now, so I’m more composed than I would have been had my phone rang three batters later.
The area code is local, but it’s not a number I recognize.
I’ve sent out what feels like a million job applications in the last few weeks so anytime my phone rings, the adrenaline pumps through my body and my heart starts to race in anticipation.
I know it’s likely not a company calling me back at this hour, but someone needs to get my nervous system that same message.
I snatch it off the table and swipe to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Hi there! Is this Ms. Rossi?” a chipper feminine voice asks.
“Yes, this is she. May I ask who’s calling?”
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. How rude of me. It’s Julie in admin for the Suns Organization.” I have a vague recollection of a stunning pint-sized blonde.
“Oh, right. We’ve met before, yeah? You were in that incredible emerald gown at the gala, right?” I have the briefest memory of a fleeting introduction with her during the silent auction.
“Yes! Wow, I’m impressed you remember me.” I’m almost positive that if she were sitting in front of me right now she’d be blushing.
I shrug, even though she can’t see me. “It’s my job to pay attention.” Well. Was my job.
“That’s actually why I’m calling. You see, with the regular season wrapped up, we’ve been finalizing our broadcast contracts for next season and we’re not giving exclusive rights to any network, like we did this year with Sports24.”
“Oh, wow. I’m sure they’re not too pleased about that decision.”
She snorts. “Oh, you don’t even know the half of it. Anyway, due to that, we’ll be seeing a revolving door of networks and their crews coming in and out for every home series which the big bosses think may pose some security issues.”
I think on it for a moment, and I come to a similar conclusion.
I’m surprised they already realized this is going to be an issue this early out.
Gives them plenty of time to get ahead of it.
This is often something that isn’t recognized until well into the season.
And then you’re trying to plug the leaks in a boat while you’re sailing, instead of reinforcing the boat before you put it out on the water.
“They’re absolutely right. With new crews every few days, you’ll get those who don’t know what they’re allowed to do and where they’re allowed to go with each series, and that’s just the start of it. ”
“Exactly! So, with that in mind, the bosses are looking to bring in a security professional that will essentially be the go-between for the organization and the broadcasters.”
I try not to jump to conclusions with what she’s saying since there’s so much she still hasn’t said, but it’s hard. “Not to be rude, but how exactly do I fit into this?”
“Right, sorry. I’ve been told I talk too much and need to be better about getting straight to the point.” She chuckles to herself. “Your name was passed along to leadership for consideration.”
My stomach drops at that. I drop my head back and let out a sigh.
I love him. So much. But he can’t swoop in to rescue me like this.
I need to get this job on my own merit. Not because my ex-boyfriend recommends me to his bosses.
At least then I know whether or not I actually earned it.
“Look, I appreciate whatever Ryan has said on my behalf but?—”
“Oh! No, sorry, you misunderstand Ms. Rossi. It wasn’t Mr. Fletcher who put your name forward. It was a Mister….” She trails off as I hear her shuffle through papers on her end. “Peter Boseman. Of Boseman Production Security.”
My jaw is on the floor at this point. Peter put me forward?
“Are you… sure about that?” I’m staring at the game still playing on the television but I’m not actually paying attention to what’s happening on the screen as my brain tries to process this conversation.
“Positive. He got in touch with leadership after everything came out about your relationship with Mr. Fletcher and he vouched for your work ethic and skill set. Essentially told my bosses they’d be fools for not hiring you, or at the very least consider you for the role.”
“I—um, okay… So they want to interview me?”
“Yes. As soon as possible. They’ll be at the facility tomorrow ahead of game two, but then they’ll be away until the series comes back to LA.
Or should I say, if the series comes back.
That said, I’m so sorry for the short notice, but would you be able to swing by around 9 a.m. tomorrow to sit and have a conversation? ”
I shoot into an upright position. “Yes, of course. It’s not a problem. I can definitely be there.”
“Excellent! I’ll get you put into the calendar then. Apologies again for calling so late. I’ll let you go since your man is on deck and I’m sure you’d like to watch without distractions.” With that, Julie hangs up and I’m left gaping at my phone.
And then “I Miss You” plays through the TV speakers in the background of the announcers and I drop my head into my hands and cry, but with a smile on my face for the first time in weeks.
I walk out of the conference room with the biggest smile on my face. I want to scream. Or dance. Jump around. Kiss Ryan.
Or talk to him.
Or just see him.
Even if it is from a distance.
I wonder if I can sneak out to the stands to catch a glimpse of them on the field.
Probably isn’t ideal to start sneaking around my new place of employment before I’ve officially started.
“Isa?”
I whip around to see the man himself frozen in place in the middle of the hallway as if my thoughts summoned him. His bag, which was slung haphazardly over his shoulder, slips and clatters to the ground, but it’s as if he didn’t even hear it. He’s completely unfazed. All his attention on me.
He takes a step forward before he realizes what he’s done and halts his progress.
“What—” He clears his throat and drops his gaze off to the side, like he can’t stand to look at me.
That breaks my heart, but I guess I broke his first. “What are you doing here?” His eyes snap back to mine and widen with panic.
God, I’ve missed his eyes. The bright blue I could drown in.
“Not that you aren’t allowed to be here.
You are. Clearly. You have a visitor’s pass”—he gestures wildly to the pass clipped on my blazer—“so obviously you’re supposed to be here.
I guess I’m asking for the reason.” He runs his hands through his hair, tugging on it.
“I don’t want to assume you’re here for me.
But… are you here for me?” The hope in his eyes sends my heart soaring.
I offer him a soft smile as I close the distance between us. “Hi, Ryan,” I say when I’m only about a foot away. “I don’t even know where to start with all you’ve just thrown at me, so I’ll work my way backwards. No, I’m not here for you?—”
“Oh,” he says, and his entire demeanor falls. The speed at which that hope drains from his eyes is damn-near heart-wrenching. His eyes drop from mine, falling to the tiles between us.
I take another step closer. “At least not initially.”
“Oh?” The hope creeps back into his voice as his gaze drags its way back to mine.
“I have a visitor’s pass because I received a phone call during the game last night from Julie in the front office.
” His brows furrow in confusion, but he remains silent, allowing me to continue.
“Apparently leadership is making some changes to their broadcasting allowances for next season and they’re looking to bring someone in-house to join their security team and be a bridge between the networks and the organization. ”
His eyebrows shoot skyward at the implication. “Does that mean…?”
“My name was mentioned when the discussion of these changes came up and they had me come in this morning for an interview. Although, it felt more just like an informational meeting.”
His eyes widen in panic. “I didn’t do anything, Isa. If I had known about this opening, I would’ve suggested you, but I understand what you said when we split. You need to get it through your own efforts. I didn’t give them your name.”
I smile warmly at him. “I know. I asked Julie, and it was Peter Boseman.”
“Your former boss?” His shock is about as extreme as mine was last night.
“Yes. I guess he was involved in the contract negotiations for Sports24 and mentioned me.” I let out a huff of a laugh and shake my head, still not quite believing it even now.
“So… what does this all mean?”
“It means,” I say, stepping closer until I’m in his space.
The smell of his cologne washes over me and my entire body relaxes for the first time since we split.
I reach out to pull his hand into mine. “It means, Ryan, that you’ll be seeing a whole lot more of me next season.
If that’s okay with you?” I tilt my head in question, and he nods, mouth agape.
“I was thinking for all the home games I work, we can keep up our In-N-Out tradition with the occasional sleepover. And when you’re on an away series, we’ll have to rely on good old fashioned FaceTime sex to get us through.
How does that sound?” I give his hand a gentle squeeze.
He lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes. It’s only for a few moments, but the longer it stretches on causes tension to seep back into me. What if I completely misread this? Misread him? What if he doesn’t want to get back together? Oh god.
All that tension and uncertainty bleeds back out the second he opens his eyes, rimmed with unshed tears and all the love in them.
In a flash he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me into his arms. I let out a less than attractive squeal of surprise before wrapping my arms around his neck to secure myself to his body.
“How does that sound? I think that sounds like a fucking dream come true, firecracker.” He buries his face in my neck and inhales deeply. “God, I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea.”
“I think I might have the slightest idea. I watched the game last night. Well, that’s a lie.
I’ve watched all the games. But I cried every time you were up at bat for the home ones.
” I squeeze myself closer to him. “Never thought blink-182 would make me cry, but here we are I guess.” I chuckle softly.
“I was hoping you’d be watching. I just needed you to know I was still thinking about you.
Even if we weren’t talking and I couldn’t see you.
I would’ve used that song for the rest of my career,” he says, sounding so sincere that I bet he would’ve.
“Oh, shit,” he says, dropping me back to the ground.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to change it for tonight!”
“You could always go back to good ol’ Dre,” I say with a smirk.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I retired Dre the second I started using them to talk to you.” He lifts his hand to my cheek, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone.
“Okay, well is that something you need to figure out right now, or will you kiss me first?”
He doesn’t even give me an answer, just brings his other hand up to my cheek and crushes his lips to mine in the most searing kiss. One that makes up for the weeks we’ve been apart.
My toes curl in my shoes and my arms loop around his neck.
He tugs my body closer, pressing every inch against his.
I wish I never had to leave this spot, but we’re once again making out in the middle of our place of employment, and while we have sign off for our relationship, I feel like it would still be frowned upon to have excessive public displays of affection like this.
I reluctantly pull myself away and gaze up into his crystalline eyes. “I love you, Ryan. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before. But I do. God, I’ve probably been in love with you for longer than I even know.”
The smile that spreads across his face can only be described as megawatt. “Don’t apologize.” He drops a quick kiss to my lips before pulling back. “I love you so fucking much. So much that it hurt being apart.”
I huff a breath. “Yeah, I’m familiar with the feeling.”
“Say it again,” he whispers.
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“You want it in Italian too? Ti amo.” I laugh as I grip his face with both hands. “Ryan Fletcher, I’m in love with you.”
“Thank fucking god.” He sweeps me up in his arms again and swings me around before dropping me back to my feet. “This won’t be a problem with your job, right?”
I shake my head with a wide smile plastered on my face. “No. It was one of the first things I made clear with them in the meeting when they told me they wanted me to join the organization.”
“Fuck. I can’t believe it,” he breathes out.
“Well, you’d better start. You have a game to get ready for. And a walk-up song to change.” I shove at his shoulder, pushing him back in the direction of the locker rooms. “In bocca al lupo.”
“I love when you talk dirty to me,” he says with a wink as he scoops up his bag and jogs off.