Chapter Eighteen
Everett Young
“We should celebrate your finals! Let’s go out for lunch!” Felicita suggests, clasping her hands together as she beams at me.
“Finals aren’t until tomorrow, Mom,” I tell her.
“Ah, true,” Ash interjects. “But we know you both will exceed expectations—you told us all about how much you’ve been studying on Thanksgiving. Let’s go to D’Oro, the pasta there is phenomenal.”
My chest is aching; the little piece of me where the love of a family is supposed to sit is shrinking just a sliver. His declaration of us exceeding expectations does not feel backhanded this time—Ash sounds like a proud father lovingly stroking his son’s ego.
Just as I’ve always wanted.
“You’re too generous, Mr. Carmichael! I would love some Italian.” Ashley smiles, all white teeth and perfected makeup as she grabs my hand and squeezes.
“It’s settled then!” my adoptive dad says, landing a hard pat on my back. “Let’s go before they get busy.”
We follow Ash and Felicita out and into the front yard, Ashley climbing into my car as I open the door for her.
“We’ll meet you there,” I shout, sliding into the driver’s side.
As soon as the door shuts and the engine roars to life, I sigh. Ashley peers over at me, a brow raised.
“What’s wrong, Ev?” she asks.
“Nothing, actually. I just… I never truly got this experience before. Not authentically.”
She hums, settling into her seat. “Well, don’t get too used to it. This is all a means to an end.”
Ashley is right. I created a master plan to protect myself, and it’s going better than I could have ever imagined—but it will crumble sooner or later. It has to, for me to achieve what I’m after.
“I know,” I murmur, pulling out of the driveway and heading toward the middle of town. “But it’s nice in this moment, them loving me so much.”
“But is it love?” Ashley prompts softly. “Is it truly love if you have to hide to have it?”
I say nothing.
It’s not that I’m ignorant; I see how other families operate, and how mine is dysfunctional and mildly abusive. But I will always crave the love of my parents, the only ones who chose me.
And if this is the closest to love I’ll ever receive from them, then I will cherish it. Even if just briefly.
We sit in silence for most of the drive, and I ponder my reality and where I’ll be at the end of the month, when I anticipate everything will fall to shit.
In some ways, I’m lucky to have had these past few weeks of peace. When I look back a few years from now, I will remember these moments with Ash and Felicita and see them in such a beautiful light—even if I know it’s fabricated from my lies.
“Oh, I never asked, but what did your mystery boyfriend say about this grand plan of yours?” Ashley asks, just as we break away from the suburban park of Sinclair.
“I, uh… I haven’t told him.”
“What!?” She’s staring at me, wide-eyed, and I glance at her briefly.
“Well, he’d worry. He’s always dropping hints that I should break contact with my family, and I’m just not ready. Not until I’ve graduated. I don’t… I don’t want to be alone yet.”
Ashley groans, borderline glaring at me now. “You wouldn’t be alone! You know what, I’m not getting into that with you. Your man can dissect those issues. But have you considered what he’d feel if he found out?”
I have considered it. Skylar would be so livid, so upset that I’ve been keeping this from him.
But I know for a fact that he wouldn’t allow me to do this—if only for my own mental health.
And I have to. It’s the only way I can keep the peace until graduation; the only way I can hold onto my family for a bit longer.
Both Ashley and Skylar grew up with loving parents—their actual parents. They’ll never understand this burning need to feel wanted, worthy, and loved.
They will never understand what it does to the soul to be left alone once and then thrown away a second time. I cannot give my adoptive parents a reason to leave me before I’m ready to be tossed aside.
“He won’t find out,” I assure her, keeping most of my thoughts to myself. “I only bring you here when I know he won’t be in this part of town; that’s why we went out for Thanksgiving. He’s studying with a friend today.”
“It doesn’t have to be a run-in; word could get around,” Ashley says.
“Then I’ll just have to hope it doesn’t.”
I’ve done a good job at hiding it so far, and Skylar steers clear of family talk most of the time. I think he’s scared of startling me or seeing me spiral.
We pull up to the restaurant, and just as I’m about to climb out next to Ash and Felicita’s Cadillac, Ashley grabs my arm and holds me hostage.
“Listen,” she demands, sending me a stern look. “You need to consider how this might affect your relationship, how it might hurt him. You know I don’t mind being your beard for the time being, but your actions have consequences.”
I smile, my affection for her only growing. As a friend, of course. But she genuinely is an amazing person.
“Let’s eat,” I tell her, her hand slipping away as I exit the car.
Ash and Felicita are already waiting by the front door, smiling fondly at us as we approach. I will never tire of seeing that expression on their faces.
“You two ready for some good lunch?” Ash asks, opening the large mahogany doors.
“Yes, please!” Ashley beams.
We’re seated at a four-person table with plush chairs and lit candles. This is probably the nicest lunch they’ve ever taken me to, and I intend to indulge.
“So, Ashley,” Felicita starts, “what are you planning to do once you graduate?”
“I want to open my own bookstore! I was thinking I would move to Miami,” she explains.
“Miami, eh?” Ash interjects. “That’s not too far from here. I think Mr. Jones, one of our clients at the firm, owns a chain of hotels out there. Maybe Everett could start out working for him!”
“Sorry, what?” I ask, my eyes sliding from the menu to stare at him.
He gives me a confused frown. “Are you not intending to move with Ashley? You too are serious, are you not?”
I freeze. Of all the times I’ve brought Ashley home, we haven’t truly talked about the future. I think my adoptive parents were just happy that I’m following their rules, but now they’re thinking ahead. Scheming.
Ashley clasps my hand over the table. “Oh, yes. Absolutely. We were actually thinking about getting a house out there, if money allows.”
Internally, I sigh. I hadn’t conjured future lies—only present ones. But it appears that Ashley came prepared, always ready to step in and cover my deception with pretty promises.
Actually… she is kind of conniving, isn’t she?
“Wonderful!” Ash proclaims. “I think we have decent savings; maybe we can pitch in a bit.”
“Wow, that… Are you sure, Dad?” I fumble, unsure of what to say.
He has never offered something this grand, other than buying me my first car. He’s all about being self-made and achieving my own goals.
A severe joy overcomes me, and it is only stifled by the realization that if it were Skylar next to me, this entire encounter would be drastically different.
And the truth is, I don’t need him to pitch in. Ever since I started shaping my grand plan, I started putting back any spare money I have—funds to help Skylar and I leave this town as soon as possible after graduation.
I mean, I haven’t asked him to run with me yet, but he did say he’d consider moving.
“I’m sure, son,” Ash replies, grinning in that self-boasting way he does. “Anything to help you achieve your dreams.”
My dreams… Right.
“And once you’re married, I want a hand in naming the baby!” Felicita adds excitedly. “It’ll be my little grandbaby, after all.”
Baby?! Holy shit. I’ve really sold this thing! They think I’m going to knock up Ashley?
Ash laughs. “Of course you will, sweetheart. Ashley will need all the help she can get!”
Ashley smiles politely, nodding.
I bet she’s thanking her lucky stars that our relationship is a farce.
“Well, enough talk about the future. Let’s order, shall we?” I offer, and with a series of nods and hums, we all return to our menus.
And I know—I know that one day soon Ash will scream in my face once again, and Felicita will stare at me in disgust. It is inevitable.
But in all honesty, trading this moment for a thousand more with Skylar isn’t so bad.
So instead of moping, I’ll sit through this lunch happily, soaking in as much of this false reality as I can. I will enjoy the last of this domestic bliss before I trade it out for a lifetime of love.
And what an epic trade it will be.