Chapter 41
Tessa
Before I climb into the truck, I pull up my phone and look at the number I asked Zane for earlier today. I push it and put the phone up to my ear. “Please let it be her that answers; please let it be—”
“Hello.”
My stomach drops. “Hi, Mr. Thorne? This is Tessa, Slater’s mate. Please don’t hang up on me,” I rush to say. For one awful moment, I think he’s hung up on me. But then he speaks in a gruff voice.
“What do you want?”
I take a breath. “Slater’s team won today’s game.
They’re playing in the finals on Monday night here in Cary, North Carolina.
I know it’s a bit of a trip, but I know it would mean the world to him if you came.
” He doesn’t say anything, and I leave it at that.
They’ll either come, or they won’t. But at least I know I tried.
“I just wanted you to know. Thank you.” I wait just a beat. “Bye.”
A sort of melancholy clings to me as I climb into the truck.
It’s a certain kind of melancholy that’s directly related to the absence of a certain soccer player.
Thankfully, Zane, Quint, and Evie just let me be.
I stare out the window for the drive to the house where we’re staying for the next few days that Zane booked for us.
I tried to offer money, but he flat-out refused any.
When we get to the house, Quint and Zane prepare to climb out of the vehicle.
I don’t move as fast, and it takes me a moment to realize Evie hasn’t yet either. “Are you okay?” she asks gently.
“Yeah.” I force a smile.
She’s quiet for just a moment. “It’s okay to miss him.”
Her words feel like a physical blow because I do miss him. “It feels stupid. I literally just saw him,” I finally admit.
“It’s not stupid,” Evie says with a vehemence in her voice. “When you love someone, it’s normal to—”
“Whoa,” I say cutting her off. “I don’t love Slater.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes. It’s much too soon, and he’s not...I don’t...” I finally stop, running out of words.
“Well, let me know when you finally choose to be honest with yourself. In the meantime, yes, it’s hard to be away from someone you care about, but it’s also the bond between you. You don’t feel the effects of it the way he does, but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting you in some way.”
I look out the window a moment, thinking about her words and trying to process everything that’s happened in such a short amount of time. I turn back to her. “You and Zane bonded, right?” She nods, watching me intently. “How did you know you were ready?”
She laughs. “I didn’t. I actually accepted the bond between us first. I didn’t even know I had, but I felt this huge rush of emotion.
It was everywhere all at once. I felt Zane’s love for me, but I also felt his protectiveness, his need to make sure I’m safe, his admiration of me.
” She laughs lightly. “I’m the first to admit it was way too much; I basically shut down. ”
I frown at that. “That sounds terrible.”
“It was overwhelming for sure, but his dad helped me through it.”
“What did he do?”
“He cut off the flow of emotion so I couldn’t feel it anymore. He did that just until I could handle it again, and Zane learned to tone it back just a little.” She smiles fondly at that.
“So, then you were bonded?” I ask, trying to put the pieces together.
“I accepted the bond that was already growing between us and connecting us. They call it completing or finalizing the bond when he bites you. That was a little intense.”
“Did it hurt?”
She pauses a moment. “It did but only for a moment. He sort of licked it.”
“What?”
She laughs. “I know it sounds super weird, but it isn’t.
They have healing properties in their saliva that helps heal the bite.
It also totally knocked me out because it makes you really sleepy.
” She sighs. “But it was really good. Once we completed the bond, we could hear each other’s voice in our heads.
It’s really good. I’m not trying to talk you into something you’re not ready for, Tess.
I’m just sharing my experience. I trusted Zane with my heart, and I was ready to go all in with him.
And I haven’t regretted that decision once. ”
My heart tugs. “You and Zane were meant for each other, Evie. It’s so obvious.”
“He means the world to me. I honestly didn’t know it was possible to be this happy.
” Her words touch me deeply, and I realize that’s what I want with Slater.
I want a future with him. I want to be the one he turns to after a good game to celebrate with or after a bad game to just be there for him.
I want to listen to his dreams and soothe his heartbreaks.
He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel confident about myself.
I feel like I’ve changed just in the time I’ve known him. “What are you thinking?”
I look at my best friend. “My mom told me that it took her just a few weeks to know my stepdad was the one for her. I asked her once how she knew, and she said she just did. She said she knew my stepdad was the kind of man that would stay faithful for a lifetime, the opposite of my real dad. So, when he asked her to marry him just a few weeks later, she said yes. All her friends said she was crazy, but she went for it.”
“Are they still together?” Evie asks.
I smile. “Eighteen years next summer.”
“That’s really awesome, Tessa.”
“I know.” I know Evie lives with her mom and her uncle, and I know that I am incredibly blessed to have my mom and stepdad.
“Why do you think this is the real thing with Slater, or do you even think that?”
I look out the window again, and those same thoughts come back again.
“I feel safe with him. I also feel like I can be myself with him, like I don’t have to pretend.
I don’t have to try to be non-emotional or have my act together, because Heaven knows neither of those things is true about me.
” I smile as I say the next words. “He makes me laugh.”
“Slate?” Evie asks incredulously.
I laugh. “Yeah. And I love going toe to toe with him. He’s so fun to mess with.
He’s also the most incredibly thoughtful person I have ever met.
He's always finding ways to do things for me or to simply make my life easier...like when he lets me borrow his truck or lets me take a nap in his room when my dorm room is too loud. He’s also respectful with me; he never pushes me too far on anything really.
I think he just makes my life better by being in it, and I can’t imagine how I would feel if he were no longer in my life and holy moly I think I’m falling for this guy.
” My words at the end all jumble together, and then the next few words sort of slip out.
“I think I might love him.” My emotions seem to grow and grow, and I feel something happen.
It feels like something snaps in my chest. Suddenly, I’m flooded with strong emotion.
I feel this overwhelming sense of being loved and accepted, but it’s followed quickly by a feeling of safety but also fierce protectiveness and almost..
.ruthlessness. The feelings are not gentle, and they hit me like shards.
I feel like I’m being dragged through a rip current, and I can’t catch my breath.
I’m aware that Evie calls my name, but I can’t seem to answer her.
The intensity grows, and I feel like my heartbeat is thundering in my chest. Frustration, irritation, and anger burn through me; but I don’t know why.
I feel like I want to hit something, and the violent feelings feel so intense.
But they also make me feel like I want to throw up.
I feel like I’m going to drown in the intensity of it all.
“Tessa.” I hear a deep voice, and I try to focus on it.
“Tessa, I’m going to help you through this okay?
” I hear Zane’s voice, but I can’t focus on his words.
Suddenly, the emotions in my chest die down.
I take a breath and then another. “Take another deep breath for me.” I do as I’m told, and I feel my heartrate start to slow down.
When I finally feel reality returning, I lift my head.
Evie’s staring at me with wide eyes full of concern, and Zane’s eyes are doing that glowy thing, letting me know his wolf is present.
“What’s going on?” I finally get out, still feeling so out of sorts. Evie looks at Zane hesitantly, but I’m already piecing it all together. I lock eyes with her. “It’s the same thing you went through with Zane, isn’t it?”
She keeps her voice gentle. “It’s rough, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I rasp out.
I turn to Zane, whose eyes are still bright. “Did you use your power to tone it back?”
“Yeah.” His voice is much deeper than it normally is. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” My voice isn’t as strong as I want it to be. “So, what exactly does that mean?”
“It means you accepted the bond with Slate,” Zane says with absolute calm and authority.
I take in the words I knew he was going to say and take stock of how I’m feeling.
I should be terrified right now, and yet, utter peace fills me.
It’s as if my body knew this is what my heart has been yearning for, and now my heart and my body have connected.
“Do you think he knows?” I ask.
Zane laughs, but it doesn’t sound like his regular laugh. “No. I can guarantee he does not know. Otherwise, he would be here right now, or he’d be blowing up our mental links with threats and who knows what else.”
“Threats? Why would he be sending threats?”
Zane doesn’t skip a beat. “Because you're his mate, and he’s not here. Add to that, Quint and I are here. Add to that you just accepted his bond, but he can’t touch you. So, yeah, it’s a good thing he doesn’t currently know.”
“How will he know?”
“I’m not exactly sure, to be honest. It’s so different from everything I was taught growing up.
We were never prepared for having human mates, not that I’m complaining,” he says as a look passes between him and Evie.
“I knew because I was with Evie when she accepted my bond and responded the way you are right now.”
“Are you still intervening somehow?” I ask him.
“Yes. I’m keeping the feelings somewhat muted, so you can function.”
I frown at that. “Well, obviously you can’t do that all night. So, what are we going to do?”
Zane looks at Evie. “Any ideas?”
“Your dad told you to pull back on your feelings, so they weren’t so much for me. Slate will probably need to do the same, but he’s not exactly here.”
The truck door opens on the other side of me, and Quint stares into the cab. “What are you all doing?” His eyes narrows. “Are you sneaking off without me?”
“Yes,” Zane says at the same time Evie and I say no.
His eyes bounce around the cab. “Well, which is it?”
“Zane’s helping Tessa hold back the onslaught of Slate’s emotions, so Tessa can function normally,” Evie says, filling him in.
He looks at me. “You function normally?”
I don’t bat an eye. “Ha. Ha.”
He grins again before turning serious. “Do I need to go get Slate?”
It gets quiet, and I realize everyone is waiting for me to answer.
“No. Today was a huge game, and the next big one is on Monday. We’re not going to bother him with this.
Okay?” I make sure to meet everybody’s eyes.
“Zane, you don’t have to keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. I can handle it; it’s just Slater.”
Quint smirks. “Just Slater. I’m going to tell him you said that.”
I give him a hard glare. “Don’t you dare.”
He just grins. “Tessa, Tessa, Tessa. You think you’re so fierce, but there’s no ill intent behind your words.”
I frown. “So?”
“So,” he continues. “It’s easy to ignore your threats. Your mate, on the other hand.” He shakes his head, and a shudder runs through his body. “He’s much more dangerous. I try not to get on his bad side.”
“Slater’s not dangerous,” I argue.
Zane and Quint both laugh. “Slate’s the most dangerous of all of us,” Zane says.