Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
~MAC~
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a few game-day rituals that I follow.
Many of them have evolved as I’ve gotten older, but one of the things that hasn’t changed is my game-day drive to the stadium.
I make sure I get there at least two hours early—something that drove my parents crazy when I was younger.
But if there was a track my mom could walk around, that made things easier for her.
My dad never supported the idea of showing up that early, so we usually drove separately. I’ve gotten used to being here at the field alone. Today, I left for the field house early, and a lot of the other girls’ cars were still in the lot of our team-provided housing.
On the way to the stadium, I make sure to turn on my game-day playlist, which has also evolved as I’ve gotten older.
The type of music on it has often changed, and technology has changed too.
First there was a discman with my burned CD, then an iPod.
Now I get to listen to it through the speakers of my car until I get to the field.
Then, I place my Beats over my ears and listen to it as I sit on the bench and visualize the game.
That’s what I always do when I get to the field. I visualize the other team playing with me and my teammates, and I think about the potential outcomes of the game and how I’ll handle certain plays and runs. It’s a mental game for me for a while, then I’ll get up and do some light juggling.
I look over and see that Cassie is walking up to me. I take my headphones off and wait for her to come closer before I speak.
“Whatcha doing here, baby?” I ask her.
She smiles playfully. “Just thought I would come over here and see you. I haven’t seen much of you lately. You seem to be preoccupied with something or someone. Figured during your game-day ritual was a good time to check in on my captain.”
I nod. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot lately because I’ve been spending my spare time with Danny. And I don’t know what she would say about that.
“What’s going on, Mac? I know it’s something, so could you just tell me what it is?” She looks at me with genuine concern.
I hate that I’ve been lying to her.
I sigh. “Can you keep a secret?”
“Did you forget who you’re talking to? How many of your secrets have you told me that I’ve never told a soul?
” She bumps my shoulder with hers. “Remember when you hid all of Jessica’s cleats from her in college because she kissed the guy you liked?
I never told a soul, even though she was pretty sure it was you. ”
I smile, remembering how mad Jessica got. “You know, I never did feel bad about that one. I know I should, but I don’t.”
She nods. “That bitch had it coming.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, she did.”
“So, what’s going on, Mac? What body are we hiding or who do we hate? I don’t care what it is. I’ll do whatever you need. I just want to know.”
She’s right. I’ve never kept secrets like this from Cassie, and it’s killing me not to tell her.
But I’m afraid of what will happen if I say something to her.
I’m not worried that it’ll make it real, because it already is.
I just don’t want to tell her and have it somehow got out.
Not that I don’t trust Cassie; I trust her with my life.
It’s someone overhearing us talking about it.
I couldn’t live with myself if I outed Danny and me, leading to something bad happening to him.
But I also hate lying to Cassie. She’s right, if there were a body to hide, she would be the one who would help me hide it. It’s time to let her know what type of a body we’re hiding.
“Are we the only ones here?” I ask her.
She looks around. “I think the coaches are in their office. But other than that, I have no idea if anyone else is here.”
“Please promise me this stays between me and you.”
“I’ve got your back through hell and back.”
“I know you do.” I pull her into a hug.
“Spill it, sister.”
“I’ve been sort of seeing Danny Taylor for a while now. It started out just as hooking up and trading witty banter, and now it’s developed into more. Like last night, he took me out on a date and basically asked me to be his girlfriend, and of course I said yes.”
I stare at her for a moment and watch as she digests the information. I’m expecting a bad reaction, so I say more. “Look, he’s really nice and really sweet. The sex is so hot, too. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time, and while it’s not smart, I’m doing it.”
“I’m so happy for you. When did this start?”
“We had a flirtation for a while, but he took me home the night of the charity bar night. Some guy tried to hit on me and he saved me. It went from there.”
Cassie hugs me. “I’m so happy for you,” she repeats. “But you do realize that this isn’t going to go well when it gets out. He could lose his job, Mac. And all credibility as a journalist.”
“I know. That’s why I tried to pretend that it was nothing for so long, but I couldn’t anymore. He made it impossible to pretend.” I flush thinking about the night he made love to me in the hotel room.
“I love it for you. But damn, you don’t make anything easy, do you?”
I laugh. “I guess not. Do you really think we’ll be screwed if anyone finds out?” I know the answer, but I still asked it.
“It won’t exactly be welcomed with open arms when everyone finds out about the two of you.
Like, what do you think Cromwell will say?
Or August? Ohh, he’s not going to like this at all.
Those two have formed some weird friendship.
I saw them at the bar the other night, just hanging out together with Jase. ”
I nod. I know how hot she thinks Jase is, but I don’t bring that up right now. The policy against those two being anything is pretty strict. Worse than Danny and me.
“Yeah, they have become really close. It’s weird, but I get it. They have a lot in common. Both are kinda caught in their father’s shadows.” My voice trails off without really finishing my thought.
“Yeah, I feel bad for August sometimes. It can’t be easy being kept under his father’s thumb. Danny’s dad is that NFL guy, right?”
“Yep.”
“Have you met him?”
“No, we haven’t really gone public. The only date we had was at the beach. We were trying so hard to be careful, but then Nick, his photographer, figured it out.”
“Think he’ll rat you out?” she asks.
“I don’t think so. They’re friends, so here’s hoping. You won’t tell anyone, right?”
“Of course not. I’m glad you’re happy. I’m glad you finally found someone you might love more than soccer. Because you know you can’t marry soccer,” she teases me.
“That has been pointed out to me a time or two.” I laugh, remembering how many of my relationships—or non-relationships—have ended because I wouldn’t put them before soccer.
“Has he noticed it yet?”
“I don’t know. He seems to get it. You know he used to be an athlete and all.”
“That’s right, a swimmer. So does he have a great swimmer’s body?”
“Oh yeah. He looks good out of those clothes.”
“Nice,” she says with a laugh. “I’m happy for you. I really am. I just hope you’re being smart. And for what it’s worth, I have noticed a change in you. You seem happier, and if he’s the reason for that, I’m all for it.”
“Thank you. I just hope this doesn’t blow up in my face,” I tell her, my biggest fear when it comes to Danny. I don’t want him to lose his job or me to lose my spot on the team. I would never get another one, and he would never get another shot as a report, his integrity being compromised and all.
“I hope not either. But enjoy the ride while you have it. Just make sure you’re being smart about it,” she cautions.
“I will.”
“Good and thank you for telling me about this.”
“I didn’t want to tell you because it made it real. Last night, it got pretty real and I’m glad I can share that with you,” I admit to her.
“Are you good with how real it got?”
“Yeah, I am. I just… I don’t know, it’s so complicated. But maybe it will be okay. I have to believe that if I want this to work, and I do.”
“I’m so happy for you. Look at you growing and shit.” She bumps against my shoulder. “Now come on, it’s time to do those juggling tricks you do before the game. We gotta get ready to kick some butt.”
“Yeah, we do.” I look over and see that Coach Watts and Coach Andie are coming over to us. It’s time to put this topic to bed so that no one else hears about it.
“Promise me one thing though, really quick,” she says, grinning like an idiot.
“What?”
“Please tell me all the sweaty details when we’re alone. I want to live vicariously through you.”
I laugh a little too loudly. “Yeah, I think we can do that. Ice cream and gossip night?” We used to have those in college all the time.
“Duh. How else would we do it?” She giggles.
Coach Watts and Andie come over and join us.
“Ladies, are we ready to kick some serious ass tonight?” Watts asks us, and we both nod. “Good, because we need to get this win. Let’s get focused.”
“That’s why we get here so early, Coach,” I tell him.
He nods and goes back to having a conversation with Andie. I look back over at Cassie and motion for her to follow over to the middle of the field near the goal. We go over there and juggle while we wait for the rest of the team to arrive and for warmups to begin.
I’m happy Cassie is here with me now. I’d be lost without her.
And I’m even more glad that I don’t have to hide my Danny secret from her.
I feel like I’m terrible at it, which is why I just avoided her.
But now I don’t have to. I make a mental note to text Danny and tell him that we won’t be getting together tonight; tonight is a girls’ night for Cassie and me.
He can hang out with August and Jase and keep that bromance alive while I dish to Cassie about the hot and dirty things he does to me.