Chapter 25 #2
“Can you sign our T-shirts? I have a sharpie. It’s black…and reminds me of you and the colour T-shirts you wear on stage. We’ve seen you perform before you know.”
The pushy girl steps right into his personal space, thrusting the T-shirt under his nose and almost knocking me out the way. I have to press my lips tightly together to stop myself from laughing. These two are a little besotted. It’s cute.
“Who shall I make it out to?” he asks with a nervous chuckle.
“Kay, with a K,” she giggles. “K. A. Y.” She giggles again.
“Riiiight…”
He dutifully signs, and after multiple, “Thanks so much,” and “You’re amazing,” Ash gets away. We nearly sprint across the fields in case they’re on our tail. I look over my shoulder at one point, and they’re waving us off, in fact, they keep waving until they’re a blip in the distance.
“Jesus that was scary.”
“Aww, I think it’s cute. Your first groupies. Actually, I’m sure one of them was crying a little bit.”
“Get out of here, you’re making it up.”
I glance up at him. “I’ve told you before. You better get used to this stuff.” A part of me aches a little. The way things are taking off for the band, there’s no knowing the amount of female attention coming their way, and not all of them will be as innocent as those two girls.
“What are you thinking about?” His interruption of my thought process is probably not a bad thing, although I won’t tell him what’s really on my mind.
“How do you know I was thinking about anything?”
“You’ve gone quiet, Cal. You always do when you’ve got stuff on your mind.”
I try to smile, but this is hard. “I was thinking about how much I’m going to miss you.”
“Yeah, same here. This is shit timing, right?”
“Are you kidding me? How can you say that? You must be excited about the future; for what’s about to happen.”
“I am, don’t get me wrong. I just wish you were there to share it with me.”
“Me too.”
From just across the field, the sea and pier come into view. Once we reach the path, we make our way along the beachfront and finally take our usual route under the pier frame. It seems the most natural place to sit and talk right now.
I shiver. “You cold?” he asks.
“I’m okay.” His arms surround me anyway while we sit looking out to sea. It feels familiar, like the first night we were here after watching him play at The Dunbar. It’s like we’ve come full circle.
“It’s beautiful here,” he says. “I want to make sure I take it all in and remember how the sea air smells. I don’t know how long it will be until I’m here again.”
I laugh, “You’re not going forever, Ash. Just a few weeks.”
“Maybe. Bernie was pretty sketchy with timeframes.” My heart sinks and my throat feels tight.
I sigh, sparking a reaction from Ash. “You know you can trust me, Cal. Nothing will happen with anyone else while I’m away,” he says out of the blue.
I don’t respond. He’s nearly twenty-two and has just been handed the opportunity of a lifetime.
Can I really put any restrictions on him?
“I don’t think it would be fair of me to ask anything of you, Ash. Go out there and live it. I don’t want to hold you back.” I don’t mean those words, but I feel I should offer them.
“You won’t. You’re not.”
“I might. I’m just saying. All I ask is one thing. If it happens, please give me fair warning.”
“You have nothing to worry about. It won’t happen.” He strokes my arm. “I will never hurt you.” I nod but remain silent. “Now I’m disappointed,” he says.
“How so?” I look up at him with a sideways glance.
“You didn’t promise the same back.” I laugh out loud. “What? What’s so funny?”
“Um, I can promise you have nothing to fear on that score. No one is interested in me.”
His face drops. “Jesus Cal, I have everything to fear, and I do, daily. The fear of losing you to some red hot uni boy nearly tears me apart.”
I don’t see the funny side anymore. Sitting between his legs, I turn my body around to face him and run my hand against his strong jaw. Slowly, my lips meet his, kissing him with every fibre of my being.
“I got my red hot uni boy the day you came back into my life. I will never hurt you, Ash. Never. If you get to a point where doubt is eating away, call me, message me, whatever you want, but if we can’t speak, remember what I’m saying to you now. I am yours.”
His fingers comb through my hair to the back of my head when he pulls me forward for more.
“Then promise me the same. I don’t know exactly where this crazy road will take me, I just know I want to travel it with you.
There won’t be anyone else in my life, Cal, no matter what.
So, just as you’ve said to me, I’ll say the same.
If you’re in doubt at all, reach out to me.
I’ll always make time, no matter where I am, to give the reassurance you need, okay? ”
“Okay,” I breathe out.
“Don’t forget me, Cal. Please don’t forget me.”
“Hey, I should say the same to you,” I laugh softly, our foreheads resting against the other. “You’re the one leaving the country and flying around the world while I get to see the four walls of my university dorm.”
“It won’t be forever,” he says while his fingers curl around the side of my neck, his thumb running along my jaw. His eyes burn into mine, confirming he means every single word. “This time next year, we won’t ever have to part again.” Then he kisses me slowly, softly.
Being away from him is going to hurt. I don’t think he realises how much.