Chapter 37 #3
She giggles. “I knew I could feel it against my thigh.” Then she makes things a whole lot worse by whispering, “I wish you could be inside me.”
Fuck. I’m in so much trouble. “You’re not helping matters, Calla Bryson.”
It takes a good ten minutes to get my dick under control and all the while; I hold her against me as security.
With Calla so close—her back to my front—I also take the opportunity to stroke her pregnant belly for the first time.
She places her hand over mine and looks up towards me, side-on.
Our faces break out into a smile. It’s the most incredible feeling to know she is carrying our baby in there.
Once I’ve calmed down, we make our way out of the clear blue water.
I collect my trainers from the beach as we pass, and Cal leads me to a large sun umbrella and lounger.
Her hand drops from mine when she sits, patting the side of the lounger next to her.
“Come and sit down.” It reminds me of the day in Braebeach when I first asked her to come to our gig at the Dunbar. It seems so long ago now.
Cal looks up, and the sun blinds her a little, so she places her sunglasses over her eyes. It’s a moment I take to move in close and put my arms around her. Now I’m here, I don’t want to be any distance away from her.
“Hey,” she says while getting comfortable in my arms, “I nearly forgot. Congratulations on your first number one. You must be over the moon. Drown in Blue is an amazing song.”
“Yeah, we’re pretty stoked,” I reply while wondering if she knows I wrote the song for her.
Cal pulls back a little and our eyes instantly lock. “I’m so proud of you.”
Jesus, if she doesn’t make my heart sing. My girl is proud of me. “Fuck Cal, that means everything, coming from you.”
She blushes. “I mean it Ash,” her hand cups my cheek, “I really am.” We’re lost in each other for a few seconds. Then she smiles and says, “Oh, and I have some good news too, well, good for me at least. The university has agreed for me to take my finals in April.”
I’m a little concerned. “But there would only be about four weeks before the baby is born. What if he or she arrives early?”
“Fingers crossed, that won’t happen, especially by so many weeks.” Her eyes go wide, and she takes a breath inwards. “Ash—”
“Cal—”
I’m unable to stop staring at her lips. The lips I want to kiss so badly.
I say nothing else as the need to take her and show her how much I’ve missed her, possess me like never before.
I lean over, slowly running one hand around her back while the other combs through the strands of her hair.
I push it away from her face as it blows slightly between us.
My stomach somersaults as my mouth takes hers.
I love the taste of her familiar lips. They feel like home—like I’ve never been away.
I still can’t believe I’m finally here, with her, where I should be.
I hope she feels the same. The taste of her kiss tells me, yes, but I need some kind of confirmation from her.
I get what I need when her fingers run through my hair, curling around my neck. When we part, I drown in the pools of her eyes. Fuck, she’s so beautiful. Cal is all I’ve ever wanted—and now, our baby too.
“Do you believe me now when I say I want all of it; you, me and—” I place my hand over the soft curve of her stomach, “our baby. Fuck, I want an entire football team with you.”
She laughs. “Steady on Ash.”
“It’s true.”
My eyes meet hers once again as a single teardrop glistens and falls down her face. I wipe it away then say, “What is it, Cal? What’s going on?”
On a wave of emotion, she sobs, “It’s stupid really, but I’ve imagined this moment a million times over.
What it would be like to touch you again and to feel your arms around me.
Honestly, Ash, I thought at one point, it would never happen, I thought I’d driven you away once and for all.
But now, you’re here—you’re actually with me.
After all the shit I put you through, all the missed calls and my stubborn temper.
You put up with all my crap and I don’t deserve you. ”
“Yes, you do. We’ve been through this Cal. I’ve told you over the phone so many times, but I’ll say it again, just this once. You are worth it. We are worth it. I’ve always known we would end up together. It just took you a little time to catch up.” I smile.
“I’ll always listen to you in the future.
That’s a certainty.” Cal sniffs. “I don’t know what’s up with me today.
Maybe it’s the hormones making me so emotional, but I don’t think it is.
I think it’s just I’ve never wanted anything so badly.
This has been the longest three months of my life.
Being without you has been awful and I never want to mess this up again. I’m scared I will.”
“Shh, Cal. Please. I get it, I really do. Don’t you think I’m scared too? You and me, we’re the same, which is why we love as hard as we do.”
“Yeah, I know.”
We’re silent for a beat, then I say, “Look, we can take this as fast or as slow as you want, but whatever you choose, we will be together. I’m not leaving here without you. From now on, we spend no more time apart unless we really have to. I know it’s going to take us time to work out—”
“But I don’t want you to feel any pressure, Ash.”
“I won’t; I don’t. Believe me. We can do this any way you want, as long as I get to take care of you and our kid. Okay?”
Her head rests against my shoulder while her arms wrap around my waist. I kiss the top of her head, feeling her bodily warmth against me.
“You’ve got us, Ash. We’re all yours. We always have been.”
Jesus, it feels good to hear her say it. For the first time in a while, I think we can get through anything life throws at us. We can survive the paparazzi by communicating better, and we will ignore the Dani’s of this world who try to come between us.
I take Cal’s chin in my fingers, tilting her head towards me and kissing her again.
This time, it’s deep and slow, although I’m slightly more conscious of anyone who might be watching.
It’s time to move this reunion away from prying eyes.
“I’m taking you back to my hotel room right now.
Remember that thing you wanted earlier? It’s happening.
As soon as humanly possible,” I tell her as my lips slide from hers.
“Thank God. You took your time,” she says, making me smile.
I help Cal up from the lounger and our fingers lace together as we head away from the beach.
I know we have a long road ahead, but I’ll never lose sight of what’s waiting for me at home. I’ll never put myself in a position where I could lose Cal again. Not ever.
Drown in Blue
Nothing that I seem to say
Could ever take the hurt away
and heal you
And if I tried a million times,
Could you let this love of ours
continue
Tell me how this works,
am I wrong
I didn’t lie,
yet now we lie all alone
(Chorus)
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Can you see through the veil
Of lies they want you to
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Look into my eyes
I need to drown in blue
Is it wrong that I still keep
A memory that’s bedded
deep inside me
It holds me captive when I sleep
The seeking of the thrill
still haunts me, baby
But what if all
my stars were aligned
Could I catch them all
and light up your sky
(Chorus)
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Can you see through the veil
Of lies they want you to
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Look into my eyes
I need to drown in blue
When I lay awake at night
I wonder if you’re lonely
or contented
And if there is another one
I hope he lifts your heart
and don’t fragment it
Could you see your life without us
Is it worth the fight
to gain back your trust
(Chorus)
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Can you see through the veil
Of lies they want you to
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Look into my eyes
I need to drown in blue
How could I let things slip away,
I never meant for
this to happen, baby.
Give me another chance to be
The man you know
you want to see
now take me.
Here’s my heart and soul
on the line
Please come back
please tell me you’re mine
(Chorus)
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Can you see through the veil
Of lies they want you to
Can you believe in me
like I believe in you
Look into my eyes
I need to drown in blue