Chapter 13 – Leap #5
“Robby and I aren’t worried about it. Worst case scenario, she says something awful and walks back up here.
It’s not going to be anything he hasn’t heard before.
Best case, she’ll have a good time and thaw out a bit.
I know you can’t require her to go anywhere, but would you think about talking with her?
See if you can persuade her to come? I can’t believe she wouldn’t like Robby if she spent time around him. ”
Jim said, “I agree with you, but Kirsten’s pretty strong in her views on this.” He looked at Nan. “We need to talk with her more about this, anyway.”
“Yes. I guess we’ve got nothing to lose.
At least, if she quits, there won’t be many, if any, guests.
” Nan turned to Grace. “As for when, tomorrow’s good.
The only guests will’ve left, and we don’t have any plans.
We can talk with Kirsten tonight, and let you know in the morning whether it will be three or four of us — we’ll come regardless, and it sounds like Billy’s in. Have you thought about a time?”
“We haven’t gotten that far, but I imagine around six?”
“I have an idea,” Jim said. “We have all this frozen walleye for guest meals, but no guests. Even frozen fish doesn’t keep forever. How ‘bout we bring some tomorrow night?”
“Oh, wow! We were wondering what to grill. Walleye beats chicken anytime!” Grace pushed back her chair. “This is going to be such fun! Good luck with Kirsten. I’ll be here late morning for the verdict.”
*******
Grace always let screen doors bang any time she came through them. The sound reminded her of childhood summers at the lake. So Robby knew she was back. He took the headphones off, putting them on his neck, and turned.
“At least three are coming — Nan, Jim, and Billy — and they’re bringing walleye! They’re gonna talk to Kirsten this evening and give me the verdict in the morning. Great, huh?”
“Yes, if I can grill it. Maybe Jim will share some tips.”
“I’m sure he will. Are we going to grill BBQ chicken tonight? Is that a possibility?”
“We could have that, sure. We need to do it before the sun gets low, though. We’re past due for mosquitoes. But let’s take some wine or beer down to the point now.” He took the headphones off and stood up.
“Okay. But don’t you want to finish whatever you were doing? Wasn’t it something for Chicago?”
“It’s not something I can finish — at least, not here — it’s something I’m working on, but I’m good with stopping. I came up here to be with you. I can work on this stuff during the week.” He put his arms around her.
“Oh, no you don’t. There’s that look again, and I liked your idea of going to the point.”
“Me and my big ideas,” but he smiled. “I’m going to take a beer. What’s your pleasure?”
“Wine, please.”
They walked out to the Adirondacks. Robby stretched his legs out, his shoes up on the firepit. He took a deep breath. Not looking at Grace, he said, “I need to tell you something. I—”
“I get a sense of dread when guys say those words. So we didn’t come down here just to enjoy the view and each other?”
“Well, we did come for those things, but this is on my mind too.”
She sipped her wine, then took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s have it.”
Robby looked away. “I wouldn’t normally share this, at this point, but I can’t shake the feeling it’s going to come up again.
” Now he looked at Grace. “So, it’d be better if it’s already out between us.
” He took a deep breath. “Those weeks when we weren’t seeing each other, I slept with someone.
Once. It was no big deal . . . but I just can’t shake this feeling . . .”
Grace took a sip of wine and looked away.
“I figured that’s what it was.” She looked back at him.
“I’m not saying you didn’t have a right to.
We don’t have exclusive rights. I could have done the same thing, but I didn’t because I was already confused enough.
I know from past experience, I can’t handle more than one relationship at a time.
I don’t sleep with someone unless I like them, so there’s always that chance .
. . I couldn’t take that chance.” She took another sip of wine, then quickly looked back at Robby.
“But I am definitely going to be pissed if you caught something and passed it on to me. Do I need to get tested? Is that what you think’s going to come up?
Have you gotten tested since? Did you even think about that? ”
“Slow down! I did think about that. I was careful. I don’t know what’s going to come up, but I’m not thinking it’s an STI.
Give me a little credit. I do have experience with this kind of thing.
I was careful, for sure . . . but I’ll get tested Monday.
I got tested when I first got here. I know where to go.
I’ll tell you what the results are . . .
but I wouldn’t have done it, if I’d thought it was risky.
I’m telling you because I can’t shake the feeling it’s going to come up in some . . . I don’t know . . . weird way.”
They sat in silence a long time. Robby finally said, “Is there anything I can do to help us get past this? I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal. We weren’t seeing each other.”
“You mean is there anything you can do so we can continue having sex until you get tested? No.” She looked away.
“Well, I hate to tell you, but that ship has sailed. Just like the first time I kissed you and realized the next day I didn’t know for sure I was Covid-free.
That time I was pretty sure I wasn’t carrying anything, and I was right.
This time I’m even more sure. Regardless, we’ve definitely had sex. If I’ve got something, you have too.”
“You’re just a regular Trojan horse, aren’t you?”
Robby laughed. “So many ways to go with that, but I know you’re not in a joking mood.
I’m just pointing out there’s no reason to deprive ourselves.
Of course, it’s your call. I’ve never forced myself on a woman, and I’m not going to start now.
” Robby took a sip of beer. “Look, as long as we’re talking about this, I want you to know having sex with someone else made me realize how different it is with you.
It was part of what led me to reevaluate my goals and know I want you in my life.
Sex is different with you. I don’t just enjoy your body.
It’s more than that. I care about you. Sex makes me feel closer to you .
. . which is not an easy thing . . . with you. ” He paused. “But it’s your call.”
Minutes past. Grace stared at the lake. “I guess you’re right. There’s no reason for anything between us to change.”
“Look at me. Please. I have something to say, and I want to see your face when I say it.” Grace turned to him, reaching up to pull back a few strands of hair.
The faint crease between her brows deepened.
Robby said, “I want exclusive rights. I don’t want you to sleep with other men.
I really don’t.” He paused. “And I won’t sleep with anyone else either. Will you agree?”
Grace stared at him. “This is a bigger leap than you were suggesting yesterday . . . Don’t you think?”
“Yes. But it’s how I feel. I’ve realized — while we’ve been talking — I don’t like the thought of you and someone else.
At all. I need to trust too. I’m not moving in.
I’m not asking for more time. I know you’re not ready for that, and we’ve both got work to do in separate places.
But I want to know, when we’re apart, you’re not with anyone else .
. . that if you want to sleep with someone else, we’ll talk about it first.”
Grace nodded. “I can agree to that.”
Robby reached for her hand, and they sat there, looking at the water and the wilderness beyond.
************
Late Sunday morning, Grace banged onto the screened porch. “She’s coming! Kirsten’s coming!” Robby was at the table, just removing the headphones. “Nan said she was conflicted — her opinions vs. awe of you. What’s the best approach?”
“I know what doesn’t work: lecturing. I say we just be ourselves, have a good time. That shouldn’t be hard — good food, if I don’t screw it up; good company, one wild card but with a good voice; and good music, the universal language. What time did you guys decide?”
“About 6:00. And they’re bringing extra filets.
Oh — and this should make you feel better — Jim says he always loses filet meat through the grill, so he’s bringing those wire baskets that clamp over filets, so you can turn the whole thing over.
Billy’s getting a second grill from one of the cabins, since there aren’t any guests. ”
“I know about those baskets, just haven’t ever used one.”
“Oh, they’re great. We used them . . . all . . . the time . . .” Grace’s voice trailed off, and she turned toward the kitchen.
“Grace?” Robby stood up. “Do you want to talk about it . . . your marriage? I’ll just listen . . .”
“Not now. Maybe sometime . . .” She took a deep breath. “Okay, where were we?”
“The menu. It needs to be simple.”
“Oh — I didn’t finish telling you — they’re also bringing chocolate eclairs.
They serve them in the dining room and have a bunch frozen.
So, if we make salad and bake some potatoes — I have a whole bag — and butter, salt, and pepper — we’re set.
We probably have enough wine and beer — I wouldn’t be surprised if they bring beer — the lodge has plenty of that.
And I have chips and salsa — I always have that. ”
“Okay, we’re done. We have more than six hours. I could work on this song if we’re going to use it next month. Tell me if you mind, honestly.”
“I don’t mind. I’ve always got stuff I can do.” Grace got a coffee mug, and Robby put headphones on.