Chapter 18 - Options #2
He looked over her shoulder into the pan. “That smells amazing.”
“How’s Marie?”
“Holding steady. In fact, this was the first morning Russell’s been able to talk to her.
You know, usually, it’s late afternoon. Today, it may be both.
And we talked about the rest of the weekend, and a bit about the family.
We agreed this is not a good time for a big family gathering, for lots of reasons.
He can take the boys wherever they’re going Monday before work. I just need to be there at 4:00.”
Grace put some chunks of cream cheese in the pan. “Stir that around while I scramble some eggs. Keep talking.”
Robby took the wooden spoon from her and started pushing the cream cheese chunks around.
“So, what would you say to spending another night here? I can check in with Russell late this afternoon and in the morning. Hopefully, I can take you back tomorrow — maybe stay over,” he looked over at her, she nodded, he smiled.
“Russell said word is the lockdown might be lifted soon, but there will be restrictions.”
They went for a long walk on the lakeshore after breakfast, climbing over rocks, and stopping so Grace could lie back on a couple of the big ones.
“If we quit seeing each other, I won’t be able to see big rocks without thinking of you.
” They were sitting next to each other on a rock that sloped down into the lake. Robby was gazing at the horizon.
Grace looked over at him. “Why do you think we’d stop seeing each other?”
“At this point, I don’t see that happening, but I guess either because one of us wants to see other people or communication between us breaks down. Aren’t those usually the reasons, basically?”
“You mean how to handle us and you going back on the road? . . . I think about that. I’ve told you I wasn’t looking for a relationship right now, especially one with a touring musician.” She looked away. “I must be crazy.” She put her right hand up and pulled back some hair.
Robby reached over and took her hand. “You’re not crazy.
We’ve fallen in love. And I wasn’t thinking about that, because we don’t have to — neither of us can go anywhere.
I was actually thinking more about you. I can’t imagine the subject, but if a significant issue came up we disagreed about, I can see you walking away rather than compromising.
I’ve always operated within a group — a big family, a tribe, a band.
Compromise is familiar to me. As for other women, unless lightning strikes on the road — which hasn’t happened like this in all these years — no encounter I might face would be worth destroying us.
But I’m not sure of you. For all your caution and self-discipline, you have a lot of emotion just below the surface. ”
Grace straightened and took her hand back.
Robby went on. “It’s true. You’re a risk for me.
There are things — maybe big things — I don’t know about you.
Maybe you don’t know. You might react in an unexpected way .
. . irrationally . . . if you felt . . .
I don’t know . . . like you were getting too comfortable or might get hurt .
. . it’s just a feeling. Let’s go back.” He stood up, offered Grace his hand.
She took it, knowing what was going to happen.
It was a long kiss, followed by a long embrace.
Then they clambered down the rock. “Look.” Robby was pointing ahead.
It was the dog; he turned around and led all the way back to Robby’s, where he veered off into the trees.
Robby put fresh water on the landing. They went to the bedroom.
*******
Grace woke up. This room was so dark; she had no idea what time it was.
Early afternoon? She got up on one elbow and looked at Robby.
He was asleep on his back. He’d unbraided his hair.
It was as long as Grace’s, not curly, but thick.
Genetically, they didn’t have much in common.
How strange to be with this man. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “What are you thinking?”
“How strange this is. That we’re together. What’re the chances?”
“Slim to none, or a hundred percent, depending on where you’re coming from.”
“Where are you coming from?”
“No question. A hundred percent. Precisely because it is strange. Our meeting was no accident . . . But what happens from here on out, may be up to us. We need to tread carefully.” He got up on one elbow too and faced Grace.
“Hear me out. Would you be willing to go to Duluth overnight and look at winter rentals? If we don’t make it till then, you can have whatever we choose, and I’ll come back here or go to Minneapolis till you decide what you want to do.
I’ll continue to pay my part. No pressure on you.
I can afford that.” He paused, still looking at her.
Grace’s expression had become serious, the crease between her brows more visible.
Robby went on quietly. “I love you. I don’t want to be separated from you when you leave the cabin.
Maybe in different cities. You with no car.
And there’s the pandemic which could complicate things even more.
It’s a lot to plan for. A lot of shifting variables.
I’m trying to think of a way that won’t make you panic, but we need to look now, not at the last minute, because we’d need just the right place for both of us to have space .
. . to each be able to work. It’s lucky I have the money to make this possible. ”
Grace looked at him a long time. “I see what you’re saying. I believe you’re acting out of love. But what you’re not saying is we’d be moving in together. That’s a big step. I can’t guarantee I’ll be ready for that. And I really don’t like the idea of being dependent on you. I don’t want that.”
“Don’t forget I’m thirty-six, and I’ve never done this before either.
I’m not going into it lightly. Romantic weekends in comfortable accommodations in beautiful settings are not the same as every day in a frigid, old, Midwestern city.
That’s why it’s got to be the right place — room for us to stay out of each other’s way — room for you to write while I play electric guitar, loud.
As for the money, I don’t know any way around that.
It’s temporary, in that we’re only talking a winter rental.
And if it weren’t for my needing to play loud, we could do with a smaller apartment, so I should pay more.
Your needs are simple. You already do fine in a studio apartment. ”
“I never thought about your not having lived with someone before. Geez. I’m glad you’ve thought about it.” She paused. “I get your point about needing more, so paying more, but I still don’t know.”
“It’s not an easy decision for either of us, but I’ve thought about it.
I want to do it. If it doesn’t work out, so be it.
For me, the alternative — us being apart with tons of snow between us, and you not having transportation or even knowing how to drive in this kind of winter — doesn’t work.
The best option, if we want to be close to each other and to an airport — is for us to spend the winter in Duluth.
My preference is to look first for an apartment that would suit both of us.
But you think about it. I’ll abide by whatever you say. ”
Grace laid back and took a deep breath. Robby got up. Soon, she heard an acoustic guitar in the living room.
*******
Late morning Wednesday, Grace was in her cubicle in the lodge looking over a comment on her latest blogpost when her email quietly dinged.
Robby. He was writing to tell her his manager, Joe, had set up a tentative arrangement for the coming weekend with a real estate company that had a reputation for being discreet and Covid-serious — masks, separate vehicles, and a healthy agent.
He’d told them what Robby required, and they were making a schedule of appointments.
The agent could set aside Saturday, and, if necessary, Sunday, for showings.
Robby only needed to confirm and tell Joe when and where he wanted to stay while in Duluth.
Would Grace go? He had thought the weekend would be better for her workwise and for Russell with the boys.
Of course, the whole trip depended on Marie, but Joe knew that.
If nothing else, they might get a change of scene.
Joe said restaurants all over the country were scrambling to reopen and make spaces to seat customers outside, and there was always delivery.
Grace was hesitant. She agreed they needed to look now, but she was not ready to move in with Robby now.
She was uncomfortable with that idea but couldn’t come up with a valid reason not to look, not to plan ahead, so she said yes.
They exchanged emails. Robby was relieved and happy to be getting away.
He told Grace he would never have believed a weekend in Duluth could be so alluring.
She smiled when she read that. Did she care where they stayed?
He was already searching the internet for safe things to do, if they had free time.
She got another email Wednesday afternoon.
From Ely. Erika said although Grace’s blogposts were excellent, the decision had been made to cut back to every other week.
Could Grace come up with a newsletter on media developments to keep the membership informed?
Maybe that could happen on the alternate Fridays?
Of course she could. Putting that together would not be hard, since she already read her sources as soon as they came out and had established contacts with all of them.
She would write back, accept, and get the details as to length.