37. April 19, 2023
Cherry - The Decision
She heard the two soft knocks on the door, but she didn’t stir from where she lay on her side in the bed. If it were Demon, he would have just walked right in. Maybe if she didn’t respond, whoever it was would go away.
She heard the turning of the doorknob behind her and the soft click as the latch gave, allowing the mystery knocker to enter. “Cherry? You awake?”
The soft Northern English lilt of Gem’s voice came from the doorway. Cherry didn’t move. Didn’t respond.
The latch clicked again and was followed up by the footfalls of the thief approaching her bed. “You’re a cat burglar. You suck at being quiet,” Cherry complained.
“Wasn’t trying to be quiet. If I hadn’t wanted you to hear me, you wouldn’t have.”
The mattress dipped as Gem sat on the edge of the bed, then lay behind Cherry and snuggled up to her. “They say you haven’t left the room since you got here. You can’t stay like this, Cherry-bomb.”
Yes, she most definitely could. She was rich.
She could buy this estate. She could stay in this room forever.
She didn’t want company. She wanted to mourn her mother all over.
She wanted to wallow in the pain of losing her father again.
She wanted to stew in anger at the men who took him from her.
She wanted to drown in her guilt for her part in Sarah’s death, as well as that poor girl whose throat had been slit due to her refusal to be drugged.
She was definitely pissed at herself for pushing away the man she’d learned to love after all these years, despite her fears of losing someone again.
And how did that go for her? He’d said he’d never be gone, but he hadn’t come back after that, had he?
He clearly decided it wasn’t worth the fight, after all, so she’d lost him anyway.
Stupid. So stupid! Even though she knew she was being foolish and a bitch, it was like she couldn’t hold it back.
Her misery sucked her down into a swirling whirlpool of anger, depression, and self-pity, where she lay broken at the bottom, looking up miles above her to daylight and safety but just too damn tired and hurting to try to swim out of it.
“Medusa was supposed to bring the girls to us, but I couldn’t stay where we were. I needed to see you. Make sure for myself that you were all right, so we had Janus bring us in. We got in just before the guys got back. They said when they got there that everyone was gone.”
“So he got away.” Cherry’s voice was so small, even she could barely hear it.
“They think they missed them by about an hour. Midas has cut off most of their funds. He wasn’t able to get all of it locked down, but an anonymous tip went to the board at Nimbus, detailing what Zion was into.
He says two board members vanished within a couple of hours of the email.
The rest of the board had an emergency meeting in the wee hours of the morning and locked him out of funds there.
In the meantime, Midas has got Nova following trails to offshore accounts and is going to work on shutting those down as well. ”
“They’ll be well hidden. He’ll be able to hide for a while.”
“Probably,” Gem admitted. “But he won’t have the power he did. And he won’t be able to hide forever from Midas or Nova.”
Gem’s voice was gentle as she burrowed a little closer into Cherry’s back and hugged her friend even tighter. “You’re scaring us, Cherry.”
Cherry turned in her friend’s arms and broke down completely. She clutched at Gem, afraid to let go. Afraid that if she did, the tide of her tears would sweep her away and drown her forever.
Out of the silence, she unburdened her shattered heart.
“The day of the bomb in the café, Demon called me out. He pointed out that my good intentions with Tribe really were the actions of an enraged girl who had a right to her pain but saw only an endgame and nothing in between. He was right.
“I was the one who had gathered the information on the shipment of women that Waters and the team rescued years ago. After the team rescued the victims, we thought we were in the clear. Instead, it put Tribe on the Salieri’s radar.
Little did we know that Waters became a target.
The Salieri, particularly my uncle, were biding their time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to take their revenge.
Sarah became their leverage. They knew she was Waters’ pressure point, so they took her as retribution for interfering.
“That’s what drove Waters to go rescue his sister with such disastrous results.
She was beaten, assaulted, and murdered in front of him.
He’s been wracked with guilt his whole life when really the guilt should have resided with me.
My choices led to consequences I never imagined.
It never even occurred to me to think of that.
How many other decisions have I made that negatively affected the lives of my team and others? After all, I almost got you killed.”
Through it all, Gem held her, saying nothing. The sun was just beginning to set when Cherry’s tears finally stopped.
“Sarah’s death is not your fault. No one is to blame for that except the Salieri.
And as far as the consequences of decisions, you lived through a terrible tragedy.
No one would be thinking rationally. Time compounds our bad behaviors, making it impossible for us to see clearly what was never clear to begin with.
You can only make decisions based on what information is available.
Do not beat yourself up over the past. It can’t be changed, no matter how much we wish it could be. ”
“It cost me Demon,” she whispered. “I sent him away. I told him I didn’t want him anymore.”
Gem gave a single beat of laughter. “No, it hasn’t cost you anything, Cherry.
At least, nothing but a little more time.
You’ve been dancing around each other for so long, both allowing so many little things to get between you that they became big things.
You both made excuses so that you didn’t have to face your fears.
Now you’re faced with having to look yourselves straight on and lay all those fears aside.
It’s not easy. It’s messy. It’s painful.
But it will be worth it, I promise. He’s not going anywhere.
Even if he leaves, you’re his light. He can’t stay in darkness forever. ”
They lay there in the quiet for some time before Gem gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“I’m sorry. I have to go. Nemo, Janus, and the girls are waiting for me.
” Gem extricated herself from Cherry’s arms and headed for the door.
“Call me if you need me. I may not be able to answer right away, but as soon as I can, I’ll be on the line.
” Before she closed the door, she added one last comment.
“Forgive him, Cherry. He loves you so much. Like Nemo, he’s just a man.
He’s going to fuck up occasionally. But right now, and I’m sorry to say this, but it’s true.
Right now, you’re the one fucking up the best thing in the world. Don’t let him get away.”
The door closed softly behind the woman’s sad smile and wave. Cherry lay there a little longer, thinking to herself about what Gem had said. She hadn’t been strong enough to face everything tumbling down around her, and she took it out on him. He didn’t deserve that. She had to make it right.
The fight to get out of bed was the most difficult she’d ever faced.
Shower. Clothes. Find Demon. Beg his forgiveness if she had to.
Lord above, she knew she probably deserved to grovel.
Then be the strong woman she’d always thought she’d been before, but this time, be strong enough to ask for his help.
Things might just be all right in the end.
When she’d gotten out of the shower and found some clothes that had been left behind for her, she headed downstairs. Mythos had apparently left, so Midas, TB, and Steel were sitting in the dining room, debriefing with Waters and God. All heads turned in her direction.
“Welcome back, Cherry,” Waters greeted her. “How are you feeling?”
“Wrecked.”
“Not unexpected. We’re glad you’re back with us.”
Her eyes scanned the room, looking for the one man who wasn’t there. “Where is he?”
The silence that fell was uncomfortable.
She watched them look to Waters before their team leader answered, “He left with Nemo and Gem. Said he wanted to oversee the girls and their fuller examinations.” He paused, as if he wanted to say something more, but stopped himself.
“We’re heading to St. Lucia to do some clean up.
We’ll be gone two days, then we’ll swing back and pick you up. I want you to rest a bit longer.”
“He’s not going to come back. Are you going to go after him?”
The team didn’t look at her, choosing instead to stare at the table in front of them. Waters was the only one who returned her gaze. “Not at this time,” Waters admitted.
It felt like an odd answer, but she refused to question it. Tears in her eyes, she begged, “Don’t. Let him go. As a gift to me.”
She watched as each man looked at each other, then at her. One by one, they nodded.
Cherry turned on her heel, went back upstairs, and crawled into bed. Her eyes glued to the Pitons, which she could see through her open window, she murmured into her pillow, “ A chuisle mo chroí .”
She didn’t sleep until she fell into her bed back at Tribe’s headquarters three days later.