25. Goodbyes Stink
25
Goodbyes Stink
Rockwell
D one is the understatement of the year of what I was after Clay called me “buddy” at the kitchen table while we were all playing Clue.
I’ll show him who his goddamn Buddy is.
?? 1 In the most seething tone I can muster, I tell him, “Get your shit. We’re leaving in twenty.” Clay’s eyes widen. “And we’re not leaving the hotel room until we need to be at the airport.”
I know my hard tone shocks him slightly since he’s used to being in control in the bedroom, but we’re not in the bedroom, and I need him more than I ever thought possible. I’m tired of us not knowing what we are or where we stand with each other.
My parents are the least of my worries.
They were sure to teach us growing up that love is love and to always treat people with respect.
I can hear my dad now. “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to live by that saying. You never know what someone is going through when they walk into their home… if they’re lucky enough to have somewhere to call home. In the same breath, walking through those doors could be their living hell.
Mindlessly walking back into the kitchen, my mind wanders off to what I’m hoping happens in the hotel room tonight. The table is cleared and I hear everyone’s voices floating in from the living room. Heading to the fridge, I grab some drinks and late-night snacks to take with us, unsure of what the hotel will have and knowing we’ll need the energy boost, considering all of the filthy thoughts that are bouncing around in my head that are about to be brought to life.
Tonight is the night.
I’ve decided.
I’m giving myself fully to Clay. I know he’ll protect this soul of mine, and I’ll do the same for his .
Stepping into the living room, my hands still full of snacks and drinks, I fill everyone in on the plan. “Hey, Momma, we’re going to spend the night at the hotel tonight.” No one even looks over at me, too busy watching whatever the hell is on the TV. Lil lets out a low chuckle like she knows exactly what we’ll be doing there, and I’m sure she does, especially after walking in on us in my room one too many times.
Clay comes out with both of our bags slung over each of his shoulders and the luggage rolling behind him. “I can’t thank you all enough for welcoming me into your home and your family this past week, but I’m going to steal him away for our last night,” he says with the biggest smile on his lips. Clay drops the bags he’s holding when my mom gets up to wrap him in one of her hugs. The kind that will bring tears to your eyes if you hold it too long.
She really knows how to make you forget everything else going wrong in your life when she wraps her arms around you.
Then he’s getting wrapped up in my dad’s arms, and dammit if that doesn’t pull on my heartstrings even more. Especially knowing his relationship with his own father is so strained. Lil follows suit, giving her goodbyes, but whispers something into his ear, causing Clay to gasp before they’re both cackling like a bunch of school girls .
I’m following behind Clay, doing my round of goodbyes as well. This is always the worst part. My family is truly some of the best pieces of me and leaving them, not knowing when I’ll see them again, causes my body to physically ache. But heading back to school knowing I have Clay by my side is making me feel better.
Wrapping my hands around my mom, and laying my chin on the top of her head, I whisper, “I love you, Momma.”
With the softest voice, my Mom replies, “I love you too, Rockwell.”
I feel her turn her head towards Clay, but I still have her wrapped up in my arms. “Clay, thank you for planning all of this and letting us see our Filho . It means the world to us, and so do you. You will always have a spot in this family, Amor . Do you hear me?” Clay’s eyes fill with tears, and he nods his head.
“I’ll see you all soon,” he finally manages, his voice strained with emotion.
“Okay, Filho, you two be safe,” my mom says, throwing us a wink. It’s then that I know that she can clearly see that Clay and I are a lot more than we’ve been leading on, but she keeps her observations to herself.
Unlike my sister who yells as we’re walking out the door, “See you two lovebirds bright and early! Oh! And don’t forget to use plenty of lube! ”
The last thing I hear is Momma smacking her on the arm as she scolds her in Portuguese. “Ready?” I ask looking at Clay, who’s practically buzzing with excitement.
“Oh, you have no idea how ready I am.”
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