Chapter 9
“The wounds that cannot be seen are the deepest”
— William Shakespeare
Before leaving the office, I decided to call Sol because I wanted to talk to her as soon as possible. My friend didn’t answer, so I decided to do the only thing left for me to do, go to her apartment.
On the way there, I thought about how to confront her, but when I was a few blocks away, I realized it was better to act naturally and say everything that was stuck in my throat without holding anything back.
I needed to express my feelings and vent.
When I arrived, the doorman who already knew me approached to open the door.
“Good evening, Miss Dukart.”
“How are you, Luigi?” I greeted him.
“Miss Sol isn’t here. She left on a trip this afternoon, told me she was taking a vacation for a few weeks,” he informed me, looking at me with surprise when he noticed I wasn’t aware of my friend’s plans.
I stared at him with distrust because the thought crossed my mind that Sol might have asked him to tell me that, but after a few seconds I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t possible.
Luigi was an older gentleman and extremely respectful and polite who I was sure wouldn’t participate in that kind of behavior.
“Thank you, Luigi, then I’ll see her when she returns,” I stated, turned around and left.
I had no choice but to wait for her to come back. Maybe her vacation would help us both calm down and think more clearly.
When I returned to the hotel it was quite late and I was very tired.
That day I had stayed at the office until nine at night because I wanted to make up for all the time when I hadn’t been able to do anything due to lack of concentration, and with the trip to Sol’s place, I arrived at the hotel after ten at night.
I hadn’t heard from Henry, but as much as I missed him, I was hurt and wasn’t going to call him either.
Perhaps it was better for us to also take some time to reflect.
Our relationship had moved too quickly, faster than my ability to comprehend.
Maybe, for my own good, I should have put the brakes on to get to know each other better, but the reality was that I was so captivated by him that I had let myself be swept away by his overwhelming passion.
Still, a lump formed in my throat at the thought that Henry might walk away, but if that was the case, I wouldn’t demand anything from him, that was more than clear to me.
I went straight to the bathroom and took a long, pleasant hot shower.
I put on my underwear and a white bathrobe and headed to the kitchen to prepare something for dinner.
I missed him and wanted to sleep by his side, but I would probably have to get used to sleeping alone again and being without him.
I ate mechanically, and had to reheat my food twice because my thoughts kept returning inevitably to him and the food would get cold without my having taken a bite.
“What is he doing? Is he with someone?” I wondered, unable to help myself.
Going to bed was another torture. I missed curling up next to him, smelling his scent, feeling his strong arms embracing me. Yes, I missed him more than I could explain, and in that big bed, I felt empty and alone.
Several days without contact with Henry had convinced me that I wouldn’t see him anymore and that the relationship we had was over.
What he felt for me would never go beyond desire and sexual attraction, something so fragile that it broke irreparably with one argument.
I kept telling myself it was for the best, but with each passing day I sank deeper into desperation and bitterness.
That Friday afternoon I was working when I received a call from Niky.
“Hi, Niky.”
“Hi, Dali, how are you?”
“Working, but I’m leaving the office in a little while because I’m really exhausted.”
“Dali, how are things with Henry?” she asked, concerned.
I wasn’t planning to beat around the bush or deceive her, so I was as clear as I could be.
“We stopped seeing each other. It’s been several days since I’ve heard anything from him,” I stated.
“I figured as much,” she remarked, sadly.
“Why did you figure that?” I asked, curious, though deep down I had the feeling it would have been better not to ask.
“Because he’s been in a terrible mood,” she replied.
I was left with the feeling that she wasn’t being entirely honest, and I made the mistake of pressing further.
“Niky, you can tell me the truth. I’ve had enough lies from Sol, I don’t want you hiding things from me.”
“You’re right,” she said, and before continuing, she let out a weary sigh. “Yesterday I saw my brother at a bar with a woman and I assumed he wouldn’t be such a jerk as to cheat on you, so I figured you two had already broken up.”
And just like that, suddenly, my few hopes and my heart were silently shattered to pieces.
The mute anguish of those days, which had been growing like a balloon being inflated, burst to invade my entire being.
Henry was already dating other women and, evidently, without any kind of remorse.
Although I imagined that, with his personality, there could already be another woman or women in his life, having it confirmed by his sister had broken my heart, leaving a deep wound.
Making a great effort, I refocused on the conversation.
“The reality is that we argued over something silly, but after that neither of us did anything to see each other again. We’re very different, Niky, and there are many years between us that make us approach things differently, we weren’t going to be able to understand each other.
We were a beautiful story, but with an early ending,” I said, trying to hide the pain her comment had caused me.
“I’m sorry, Dali. I was sure you two were going to have a long relationship. I would have loved that,” she indicated, with longing reflected in her voice.
“Don’t feel bad for me, I’m fine,” I said, because I couldn’t confess my pain when the one who had caused it was her brother.
“Henry told me... sorry for continuing to mention him,” she said, embarrassed.
“Don’t worry, let’s talk naturally because otherwise, we’ll both feel uncomfortable. Forget that there was ever anything between him and me,” I stated. “What did he tell you?”
“Everything that happened with Sol, that you haven’t heard anything more from her and that she worked at my family’s company. I swear I was very surprised about this last part, if she hid that information from us, she must have been planning something.”
“I don’t know, Niky. My theory is that she’s in love with your brother and when she discovered that we knew each other, she didn’t want to tell us.
I swear I’m very confused. A few days ago I went to her place, but the doorman told me she had gone on a trip.
I know she didn’t have anything planned, so she must have left because of this situation. ”
“Let’s hope that the distance and change of scenery make her reconsider and come back calmer.”
“I hope so. I want to have a talk with her, I hope that can happen.”
“Let’s change the subject. Do you want to go dancing? It’s been days since we’ve seen each other and I want to see you and chat in person.”
After what I had heard about her brother, the last thing I felt like doing was going out to have fun, but I wasn’t one to stay locked up crying over my sorrows, so I decided that a friend and some music and dancing could help change my mood.
After all, Henry had removed me from his life, had let me go very easily.
I would take it as an experience I needed to learn from.
There’s a phrase by Buddha that says: “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” Therefore, it was in my hands how to handle the suffering, and I was determined not to do it as a victim of the situation.
I would take responsibility for that pain and try to handle it in the best way possible.
With all the emotions awakened by the reality that Niky had revealed to me and that I would have to face, I responded what I thought was best for me:
“I want to see you too, so I accept the invitation. If you want, come to the hotel and we’ll leave from here.”
“Perfect, I’ll be there around nine.”
“See you, Niky.”
“See you later, Dali.”
I realized that tears were wetting my cheeks and I wiped them away angrily. I refused to cry. I could sink into crushing sadness, but it would be without tears, it would be with a silent scream that would have to serve as catharsis and remind me that I would have to forget.
As promised, at nine o’clock Niky was at the hotel.
“Dali, I was so looking forward to seeing you!” she exclaimed, and rushed toward me to embrace in a hug.
“Me too, really.”
“You’re always so beautiful,” she affirmed, looking me over.
“Thank you, you look gorgeous too.”
I was wearing a black dress that was quite sexy because it had a large open back. I was one of those people who thought that when you have no idea what to wear, a black dress is the absolute choice. Niky had opted for black leather pants and a sleeveless wine-colored blouse.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“I was thinking of going to this nightclub because I was given VIP tickets,” she said, stretching out her arm and showing me the tickets for the place.
“Perfect, let’s go there.” At that moment an idea crossed my mind and I didn’t hesitate to ask her, “Are you sure your brother won’t be at that club?”
“If it weren’t for the fact that he had to travel to Chile this morning, I’d say it was very likely because the owner of the place is a family acquaintance, but since he’s on a business trip, I can assure you we won’t run into him.”
“That’s better, because right now, it would be uncomfortable to cross paths with him.”
“I understand,” she said, and in her gaze I could detect a certain compassion that didn’t make me feel good.