CHAPTER 45
The infectious eighties pop music blasting in Sugar Mamas, the posh new bakery in Edgewood, put everyone in a good mood for the scheduled cake tasting.
The ladies had spent the afternoon eating their weight in cake and bopping their heads to De-Barge and Jody Watley.
Sara passed on the tasting, explaining that it was her no-carbs week, leaving Mya, Bronwyn, and Jackie to help Tanika make her choices.
Tanika and Gideon had finally settled on a wedding date and location, opting to do a destination wedding in Costa Rica over the summer. It would be before football season got cranking, which coincided with the back-to-school rush at Gideon’s optometry practice.
Tanika, no matter how she tried to downplay it, was going full bridal mode.
Hence, the cake tasting. She wanted to ship cake to Costa Rica, because she was convinced that the resort wouldn’t get it right.
Everyone had tried to talk her out of this ridiculously expensive and logistically shaky idea, but she couldn’t be convinced otherwise.
Tanika opened her tablet to take notes. “I think I like chocolate or red velvet best. And maybe carrot cake or lemon poppyseed for Gideon’s groom’s cake. They said they can make the cake into different shapes. I’m thinking a pair of Jordans.”
“Carrot is seriously the worst cake flavor ever,” Mya complained. “Please pick something that doesn’t involve vegetables.”
“But it’s his favorite,” Tanika said. “I mean, he’s into healthy stuff, and these two are the healthiest of the options.”
Jackie shook her head. “My cousin is nothing if not sensible. Even when it comes to cake.”
“And please make it vegan,” Bronwyn emphasized, smoothing down her tunic, “for the non-animal-eaters at the wedding. But enough about cakes. Jackie, is there anything you want to tell us?”
Jackie knew where this was going, but she was going to feign ignorance. “About what? Patrick being a dick? Renegotiating PJ’s contracts? Mo’s fight?”
“Now Jackie,” Tanika cautioned. “You know we are talking about Antonio. You been radio-silent about him for weeks. Even though you got your voice back. What’s up?”
Jackie stabbed a forkful of salted caramel cake, shoving it into her mouth. She moaned. “Oh my God, Tanika, add this one to the list! For real.”
“Jackie!” Tanika whisper-yelled. “Stop deflecting.”
Jackie wiped her lips. “I need to be focused on work right now. But Antonio and I are still very cool. We’re still friendly.
” It was true, they had more ease around the office these days.
But Jackie felt the undeniable ache that the shift in their dynamic had caused.
It was so strange to be in this relationship purgatory.
“So, you two broke up?” asked Mya.
“Uhm, we can’t break up if we aren’t a couple,” Jackie corrected.
Tanika rolled her eyes. “Jackie, we are in our forties. I think spending time together, going on dates, connecting emotionally, and uhm, hunching on the man, constitutes a relationship.”
“Especially the hunching,” Mya said, sliding Tanika’s plate full of unfinished cake in her direction. “And you said the hunching was spectacular.”
“Did I say spectacular?” chuckled Jackie. “That doesn’t sound like me.”
“Oh, you definitely said it when you were getting dick-de-stressed,” Mya countered. “You had all the words for it then.”
The entire table laughed. Jackie simply shook her head.
“Look,” Jackie sighed. “We’ve just been keeping it cordial. That’s all. I have clients to deal with. Including his son, who is coming off suspension and needs my support.”
Since PJ’s arrest, Jackie hadn’t been alone with Antonio in several weeks.
They spoke to each other mostly during meetings—and in very limited, very professional texts and emails.
Jackie even managed to avoid Antonio during the entirety of All-Star Weekend.
When the press was going crazy, asking Antonio or PJ questions about their father-son relationship, they had both handled it with humor and grace.
It seemed like the supposed drama was water under the bridge.
Since Jackie and Antonio hadn’t been seen together, the press stopped insinuating that they were a couple.
But the gossip-hungry media hadn’t given up hope that things would turn around.
“Wow,” Tanika didn’t seem to believe what she was hearing. “I never thought I’d see the day when Jackie Miles was running from a challenging situation. I thought boss chicks were never scared?”
“I’M NOT RUNNING!” Jackie yelled. She took a breath and lowered her voice. “And I’m not scared. It’s self-preservation.”
Bronwyn sucked her teeth. “Jackie, we know you want to protect yourself with these avoidance tactics. But you cannot avoid someone who is meant to be with you. The universe isn’t going to allow it anyway.
When was the last time you had a personal conversation with Antonio that didn’t involve his son? ”
“I spoke to him extensively at our company holiday party. I gave him an early Christmas gift slash birthday present, a signed copy of an S.A. Cosby book that he was looking forward to reading. And he told me thank you, and that he really appreciated it,” Jackie said.
What Jackie didn’t tell her girls was that she’d stood in line for two hours to get that book signed.
She’d gotten up early, in the freezing cold on a Sunday morning—so unlike her.
The smile on Antonio’s face when he saw the personalized signature page made it absolutely worth it.
She loved that smile, even though she knew she probably didn’t deserve it.
“Girl, it’s February! Christmas was, like, two months ago,” Tanika said.
“Did he get you anything?” Mya asked. “You know, like some appreciative dick.”
“You must be an incredible assistant, Mya, because otherwise I don’t understand why Tanika keeps you around,” Jackie snapped. “And the answer is no, girl. Sleeping with Antonio just…makes me lose all my senses. I need a clear head. I mean, I don’t need sex all the time, you know.”
Tanika and Bronwyn exchanged a look that said, Girl, lie to someone else, not us.
Mya shook her head. “I don’t see how you can go months without wanting to get with that man. The man is fine. Tall, dark. Thick like a sturdy oak. And I’d be climbing that tree every chance I could.”
Jackie didn’t want to be reminded of the sex she was not having with Antonio.
Even in their cordial purgatory, there were the lingering stares across the boardroom table, playful banter after a meeting, and subtle, “accidental” touches that occurred when no one was looking.
The heat was still there. Embers were still smoldering.
But they were trying their best not to reignite anything. Or at least, Jackie was trying.
“Mya, girl, why are you always so horny?” Tanika snickered, jolting Jackie back to the present.
Mya rolled her eyes, a wicked smirk on her face. “Unlike you, ladies, I’m not in perimenopause yet. My sex drive is on twelve. I get it in.”
“Well, that was shade,” Bronwyn said. “You don’t know our lives. We are in our prime.”
“Well, you, Bronwyn, may be the exception,” Mya said. “You’ve got a soccer team over there. Plus, we’ve all seen what Kenny is working with.”
“Mostly against our will,” Tanika groaned, referencing Kenny’s tendency to be naked as a jaybird, even with company.
Bronwyn laughed. “Very true. Kenny is blessed.” Her laughter stopped when she looked at Jackie. “Jackie? You okay?” She reached out for her hand.
Jackie shook her head. “I’ve been in love once, and it almost cost me my career. I’m inching closer to fifty, and I’m starting to think there is always going to be something in the way of being in love. Some kind of complication.”
“Are you saying you’re in love with Antonio?” asked Bronwyn. “Be honest, Jackie.”
Jackie took a deep breath, a familiar ache in her throat. She thought of Mother Mary and spoke truthfully. “I feel something different. Something I haven’t felt with anyone before. Is that love? I don’t know. And I don’t know if it’s worth the risk.”
“Love is always worth the risk,” Tanika said with a smile. “Trust me.”
“Worth risking my career? Patrick at the firm not-so-subtly reminded me that drama follows me. He basically insinuated that I was harmful to the firm. Antonio and I have both worked too hard for our careers to go up in flames because we can’t resist each other.”
“Gideon told me that he suggested you start your own firm,” Tanika said. “We’ve been telling you to do this for years.”
“I really hate the fact that I can’t have a conversation in confidence with either one of you anymore,” Jackie said. “And I know you sent him to spy on me at the dog park.”
Tanika shrugged. “I wasn’t gonna leave him in the dark.
It kinda comes with the marriage thing. No secrets between spouses.
” She gently squeezed Jackie’s other hand.
“Jackie, you don’t need AMW-Elite to be a great agent.
If anything, they need you. I think Patrick is afraid you’ll walk.
He was trying some reverse psychology or something. ”
Jackie scratched her head. “Maybe. I am the top-producing agent. Antonio is second.”
“Well,” Tanika continued. “I say you do it. Take your clients, start your own firm, and do your own thing!”
“Oh! Like Jerry Lewis!” Bronwyn cheerily said. “That was a good movie!”
“It’s McGuire,” Tanika and Jackie said in unison. Bless Bronwyn’s well-meaning, ill-informed heart.
“Enough about me,” Jackie said, waving her hand. “We are supposed to be here choosing a wedding cake!”
“Speaking of the wedding, do I get a plus one?” Mya asked.
Tanika looked at her, surprised. “Are you seeing someone?”
“Actually, I’m seeing several someones. So, I just need to narrow down my date by July.”
“Does that ‘several someones’ include Colin?” asked Tanika. “I know y’all have been texting and stuff.”
Jackie let out a gasp. Colin Bello was an F1-turned-stock-car-driver making a serious name for himself and apparently collecting female admirers along the way. Including Mya, it seemed.
Mya’s brown, freckled face was turning a light shade of apricot. “We are just friends! Don’t nobody want Tanika’s sloppy seconds.”
Tanika frowned. “That’s not even funny. You know I didn’t go there.” She turned to Jackie. “Should I put you down for a plus one too? Maybe you and Antonio will work things out by then.”
Jackie shrugged. “I don’t know, Tanika. I can’t even think that far ahead.”
“Well, then, the two of you can figure this out at the bachelorette party,” Tanika said quickly before shoving more cake in her mouth.
Jackie stared at Tanika. “I know you didn’t invite Antonio to Atlantic City! Why, Nik!”
“Because Gideon could use more guy friends. Antonio seems really cool.”
Jackie pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m gonna beat your ass, Tanika.”
“Aww, look at you setting up a playdate for your man,” Mya teased.
Tanika laughed. “And you’re not gonna do a thing, Jackie. But I do want there to be at least an equal balance of folks so we can have a good time. Who knows? I figured since y’all had such a good time in Vegas, and Atlantic City sort of has the same vibes—”
“Oh my God,” Jackie interrupted. “You think we get hot for slot machines or something?”
“I have no idea what kinda kinks you two are into,” teased Tanika. “But it does seem like destinations do the trick.”
Jackie bit her lip, trying her best not to think about Vegas, Mexico, or more recently, Savannah. “Okay, there is some truth to that, but I just don’t want it to be weird between us again. Like I said, we’re cordial now. That’s it.”
“Hmph.” Mya snorted. “You know you can’t just be friends with Antonio.”
“I…I can…” Jackie stuttered, rubbing her throat. “I know I can.”
“You don’t even believe the words coming out of your own mouth, love,” Bronwyn said, amused. “You’re doing the thing again. The defensive push!”
Tanika put her hand on Jackie’s shoulder. “I really want to shake some sense into you. You silly, goofy, tiny woman.”
Jackie dropped her head into her hands. “Ugh. I hate feeling all the feelings. This sucks. How do you all do this?”
Tanika lifted her friend’s chin. “I need you to face facts, Jackie. You’re in love.”
Jackie groaned. “I think I need more cake.”