Chapter Twenty
Julia sucks in a sharp breath, tears threatening to spill, and she shakes her head before rushing down the hall back toward the elevator. My chest is aching at the sight of her tears, knowing that I’m the reason for them, but I didn’t know what else to do. I know my feelings for her are true, I thought hers might be as well, but the moment she begged the photographer to get rid of the picture was a breakthrough for me. . She doesn’t feel the same way.
This was for our own good.
Was it really for hers, though? Nothing about the emotions crossing over her face told me it was a good thing for her and that she wanted me to say those words. What did she come to my room for in the first place? It looked like she needed to say something, but I took over the conversation, and she never got the chance to say anything else.
Instead of wrapping her in my arms and claiming her lips with my own, like I crave, I pushed her away until she could no longer look me in the eyes. I close my eyes so I can imagine my hands roaming over her smooth skin, how quickly it would pebble with goosebumps in their wake, and I clench my fists at the image. That’s what we should be doing.
I ruined that, though.
Since I can’t think of a better way to get Julia out of my head, I storm into the dimly lit bathroom and start the hot water. I watch the steam swirl through the air, then up into the vent, disappearing just as quickly as Julia did when I opened my mouth, and it has me growling as I lean into the bathroom sink.
Will I ever be able to escape her?
My brain is telling me that there’s a good way to stop thinking about her, but my heart is pleading with me to run after her and tell her the truth. I want to listen to my heart, but when has that ever gotten me anywhere good? The last time I let my heart lead me, I walked away with it shattered in pieces because I shouldn’t have trusted the woman.
Would Julia have done that, is that the kind of person she showed me she was?
When I think about it, no, and that only makes me feel worse for the things I said moments ago. If I look back on my previous relationships, I guess there are red flags I chose to miss with them – how one of my exes would constantly deny going out on movie or restaurant dates but was eager to attend some of the parties I got invited to where she would show off to the world. She never wanted to do anything more romantic, and it only made sense when I found out she had a boyfriend behind my back who didn’t have as much money. The only reason she got with me was because she hoped that my fame and fortune would get her and her boyfriend into a new home where they could start their future.
Julia, though, never wanted anything more than what I gave her. She didn’t make it seem as though she would melt when we spent most of our time on the resort until recently, and I appreciated that. I watched her become vulnerable, which none of my exes ever did around me, and wanted nothing more than to comfort her—which is why I ran her a bath and tried talking to her about Mallory.
It became more real for me a while ago, but I don’t think I wanted to admit it to myself, so it never came out until Mallory questioned me about things.
A pounding at the door has me striding across the bathroom floor and turning the water off, which was for the best since I wasn’t getting in anyway. Then I make my way to the door with confident steps. When I pull it open, my sister barges right in without an invite and huffs in annoyance before glaring at me. “What the hell, Brent?!”
I try to feign indifference when I say, “What?” Although, I know exactly what this is about because I’m positive Julia went crying into their room and told her everything. She likely told my sister how big of an asshole I am while Mallory wrapped an arm around her shoulders to comfort her, and she would be right.
I’m an asshole who made a big mistake, the biggest of my entire life, and now I need to figure out how to fix all of this.
“I warned her,” my sister hisses. “As soon as I saw that picture, I warned her that she would get hurt, but I started trusting that you wouldn’t.” Mallory shakes her head and frowns at me. “I saw the way you looked at her, Brent, so what’s the deal?”
“She didn’t want to be seen with me,” I state.
“What are you talking about? You guys have been going out, of course, she wants to be seen with you.”
“Everything I felt for her was right there, begging to be let out, but as soon as she told that photographer to delete the picture he took, it all scattered away like a scared mouse.” I run a hand through my hair and growl loudly. “Fuck!” Mallory flinches at my outburst but doesn’t say anything. “It was a mistake, telling her that it never meant anything, and now I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you love her, Brent?”
“Yes,” I say without waiting a single second. “I do, Mal.”
My sister smiles and sinks onto the same couch she sat on last night. “Then, it looks like we need to get your girl back, and I’m going to help you.”
I shake my head and sigh. “I wouldn’t count on her being too forgiving.”
“That’s why you keep fighting, big bro, and you got me to help you with that.” When I don’t say anything, Mallory rolls her eyes. “Julia loves romantic shit, so that’s what we are going to aim for in getting her back. You with me?”
“No, Mal, not really.” What she needed was for me not to ruin things in the first place, then we wouldn’t have to sit here and do this. “Maybe I should just go talk to her,” I say softly.
Mallory scrunches her nose at my words. “Ooh, bad idea. Trust me.”
“What if that’s her expectation? That I’ll run after her and make everything better?”
“Brent, she has barely given a guy a chance since college, not after that asshole she was with used her to get his grades up. I’ve watched her bomb every date she’s been on, reject a second date with ones that didn’t seem to mind her awkwardness, but I’ve never once had her confess her love for any of them.” She sighs heavily. “Trust me, she doesn’t want you running after her right now, and you’re going to have to do a lot more than say ‘I’m sorry.”
It takes about twenty to thirty minutes before Mallory seems confident enough in our plan to head back down to her room with Julia, and she smiles brightly. I, on the other hand, don’t feel as excited about the future as she does. Mallory senses the unease and places her hand on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze while saying, “We have it all planned out. If one thing doesn’t work, we’ve got our Plan B situated as well. I personally think you should make Plan B Plan A, but it’s however you want to do it.”
I’m more nervous than I was before, and that’s never happened with a woman before, not even any of the ones I thought I may have had feelings for. Being with Julia has shown me that love wasn’t what I felt with any of the other women, it was mere lust and desire. It was a way for me to pass the time and feel better about myself, which sucks to say now because it makes me feel as though I led them on.
“Thanks, Mal, I appreciate your help,” I say with a small smile. “Now get out of here. I’ve made enough of a mess of your vacation.”
“No one could ruin my fun even if they tried,” she says with a wink that makes my stomach roll, but I choose to ignore the comment. “Rest up, we’ve got a lot of work to do, big brother.” With that, she disappears through the door and leaves alone to bask in my thoughts.
The first course of action is taking her to a fancy dinner at the resort after a few days – I wanted to do it tomorrow, but Mallory insisted that I give her enough time for things to calm down before bombarding her with a date – and apologize to her, then admit my feelings. I’m going to go all out, candles lit, a table for two under a gazebo that Mallory noticed, and a private dinner for just the two of us. It’s a lot more intimate than our other dates have been, which is what’s making me so nervous.
If Plan A doesn’t work, though, Mallory came up with a Plan B that I tried denying until my voice was hoarse. It’s not that the plan isn’t good, but I just don’t think Julia will like such a public display since she’s so introverted.
When I get into my room and hear my phone ping, I frown at the text I got from Mallory.
Julia is gone.
As soon as I glance over the words, I call my sister”s phone with a shaky breath and wait patiently for her to answer. I don’t even let her speak when the line picks up. “What do you mean she’s gone?”
“Everything,” my sister says. “Her suitcase, makeup, hair stuff, it’s all gone and her bed is made. She went back home.”
“What am I supposed to do now?” I ask, then put Mallory on speaker and drop my head into my hands. “I fucked up, Mal.”
If she couldn’t even stay for the rest of her vacation, there’s no way I’m going to manage to make her come back to me. My sister sighs. “We’ll just have to see when we leave, which I’m calling about first thing in the morning. We’re going to take the first flight available back, and you’re going to switch to a flight into Miami.”
“Mack’s going to kill me,” I mutter. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
“We’re still going with the plan, Brent. It’s just going to be slightly different from what we wrote out.”
“Sure, Mal, yeah.” Before she can try to give me a pep talk, I hang up the phone and throw the device at the wall. I watch it shatter into pieces, but make no move to pick it up because I don’t give a shit about it right now.
That’s what Julia’s heart looks like because I couldn’t take care of it the way she deserves.
All I can do is hope that everything I’ve planned works out.
I never should’ve lied to her.