15. The Hard Truth #2
Sam nods once. "You know, we’ve all been in the trenches.
” He makes eye contact with all of us. Knowing we’ve all been there.
“We’ve all served next to kin and friends.
Out in the field, through thick and thin.
Every day you are out there, your life is on the line.
We’ve all taken on the firing squad, and none of us make it out unscathed.
We all have burns and scars, both physical and mental.
” He nods at Austin and me because we struggle the most. “A promise made to keep each other alive is a hope and a dream, it can’t be fulfilled.
We all know it when we make it, but we have their backs, and they have ours.
" He turns to me. “When did you make that promise, son?”
I blow out a forced breath. “Seventeen,” I say, feeling like just thinking about breaking it is a betrayal.
“Seventeen,” his eyes soften. “A promise made at seventeen is a wish, not a contract. No man in his right mind loses love over a childhood promise that could never be kept.”
The table is quiet.
“I told my CO when I was in Granada that I’d watch his back, and I did, but a sniper from behind us had it first, and I took command, much like you, Bo. You can’t hold water in your hand, and you can’t bet against love.”
Mason and Levi nod. Austin is staring at the table, feeling the weight just like me, and Jake has a grim look on his face.
“So, I ask you again,” Sam says, gathering his keys. “What’s stopping you now?”
I rub my hands through my hair. “Nothing,”
“That’s the right answer,” he says, picking up his paper.
“Now, I’ve got to see the Milly for Molly’s pills.
So, if you’ll excuse me.” Sam whistles softly, and Molly picks her head up, then stands and stretches.
She walks beside him as he leaves. Now just the six of us are left.
Terrance and Jake got up right after and headed for the door, leaving a few dollars for Ethel and the staff.
"Kevin Bennett," Mason says, after a beat. His voice was amused. "When you see him."
"I know."
"Keep it clean." He looks at me over the rim of his mug.
"Not making any promises." I smile, but Mason knows I won’t throw the first punch.
Levi and Mason leave when Sarah and Cassie stop at the door and wait. They leave a few dollars as well, Austin right behind them. I stay for another few minutes, finishing my coffee.
Rowdy puts his chin on my knee.
I reach down and pat his head.
"Yeah," I tell him. "I know."
Ten minutes later, I’m halfway to home, and Sam’s words are still bouncing around in my head. But what am I going to do about Tyler? Rowdy looks at me as if he already knows.
“I know, buddy, one day at a time,” I tell him, but I also know that the day will eventually come, and I hate being blindsided.
There is a reason Montana has the title Big Sky, and that’s because even though we are surrounded by mountains, the sky looks big and vast, even as I take the turns and hills on my way home. Rowdy has his nose out the passenger window, ears back, smelling the world at fifty miles an hour.
I made it at seventeen. Standing in Tyler's living room with the summer heat coming through the screen door.
Tyler had seen me looking at her at the lake, and he'd called it out, and I'd said yes before I'd even thought about what it would cost me.
Because Tyler was my brother in every way that mattered, and I didn't want to lose that.
I'm not seventeen anymore.
And Falon is not just another girl. It’s my Falon.
I pull down the drive and park near the barn. I sit in the truck for a moment, engine off, just listening. Frank is crowing at the day because he can’t tell time and seems to crow whenever he feels like it.
Then I see her.
She's at the fence line on the south side, running wire.
She hasn't heard the truck. She's just working, moving along the fence post to post, her gloves on, her hair pulled back under her hat.
Rowdy runs up to her, and she starts talking to him while she works.
Glancing up briefly to see my truck in the drive, then back to work.
I stand next to the truck for a second. Just that image. Falon Williams, on her land, doing the work, talking to my dog like they've been doing this for years, has me smiling. I could watch that image forever.
I step away from the truck. Rowdy spots me from the fence line and breaks into a run. Falon turns, shading her eyes against the morning light.
I stop a few feet away.
"How’s Sam?" she asks.
"Good," I say. "Ya know, I swear that man knows everything. Did you know Jessica Corner had her baby last week?
She nods. “Yeah, I went to the baby shower.” She laughs, then looks at me a little closer.
“Are you okay?” she asks when I look away.
“Yeah, sometimes I swear Sam had a magnifying glass to my thoughts.” I look at her, then shake my head. “The way he knows things." I shake their thoughts from my mind. “How’s the fenceline coming?”
She holds my gaze for a moment. "Okay," she says, “just a repair. The cattle are bent on escaping. One of these days, I’m going to put up a camera to see who the troublemaker is.” She huffs, and my chest tightens. She’s so cute when she huffs. And I have no doubt she’ll figure out who it is.
She hands me the wire stretcher and turns back to the fence.
Frank crows from the chicken run, though what he thinks he's announcing is anyone's guess.
I reach for the next fence post and think: This is what I came back for. I just needed to learn it for myself. To find what I was missing. Took me long enough.
I smile to myself because I know I’m right. I'm not leaving.
And for the first time, that thought doesn't feel like a risk.
It feels like the most obvious thing in the world.