Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Stress made Evie hungry, so she made Leo wait until she’d finished every crumb of her spinach and feta gozleme and drunk every drop of her double-shot latte. He’d ordered salad but wasn’t eating it, just pushing leaves around with his fork.
‘Okay.’ Evie felt her stress settle to a more manageable level. Carbs and cheese were good like that. ‘Here’s what happened …’
She related the conversation in Keith and Kev’s office as faithfully as she could, while watching Leo’s jaw get progressively tighter, to the point he risked snapping a crucial tendon.
‘But there could be a number of reasons behind their question,’ she said. ‘I came up with a list of four. Well – three. Number four was more a free-floating anxiety catch-all.’
‘I can only think of one,’ he said. ‘I’m getting fired. Like I said.’
‘That was on my list,’ Evie confessed. ‘But so was me getting fired and you taking on my job as well as yours.’
Leo looked sceptical. ‘Does that really seem likely?’
‘I don’t know ,’ Evie wailed.
She had a strong urge to wave her hands frantically in the air like a cartoon character. Instead, she used them to fan her face and took some deep calming breaths.
‘Here’s an idea,’ she said. ‘How about we both stop panicking and think about it rationally?’
‘You first,’ said Leo.
‘Okay,’ said Evie. ‘Let’s talk facts. Fact one: you’ve only been here four days. Far too soon for you to have fucked up that badly.’
‘Thanks,’ said Leo. ‘That makes me feel so much better.’
‘Well, have Keith or Kev given you any cause to think they’re unhappy?’
‘No, but–’
‘No buts!’ insisted Evie. ‘Just facts. Fact two: Keith and Kev have said nada.’
Leo pushed the leaves on his plate around some more, his expression thundery with a chance of sulks.
Then he dropped his fork, expelled a breath, and said, quietly, ‘Fuck it.’
Evie’s mind went back to yesterday morning, when he’d said exactly that before lying down on the bed next to her. Before–
Nope! Go away visions of sexy hijinks! I need to focus!
She reeled her mind back, just in time to hear Leo say, ruefully, ‘I’m my own worst enemy, aren’t I?’
Hearing her own opinion come out of his mouth took Evie by surprise.
‘I get so fixated on never putting a foot wrong that I box myself into a corner,’ Leo went on. ‘A sad, small dark corner where there’s only little old me and my gargantuan fear of failure. And you know what–?’ He paused. ‘I fucking hate it.’
‘Leo–’
‘Do not pity me,’ he ordered. ‘I fucking hate that even more.’
‘Very well,’ said Evie, sweetly. ‘How about if I tell you to get your head out of your arse, instead?’
Leo went very still. Then he nodded.
‘That could work,’ he said. ‘I’ve managed some pretty challenging physical poses in my time.’
Evie burst out laughing. ‘Leo, you cracked a joke!’
‘I’m not completely humourless,’ he replied. ‘I only sound that way most of the time.’
Two jokes. Oh my.
Evie had always been a little confused by the phrase ‘the scales fell from their eyes’. Were they snake people? Had they suffered a fish-cleaning accident? But now it made total sense. It really was as if she could see clearly for the first time ever. Her previous boyfriends were funny, but they used humour like a flower uses scent, to attract and charm. Shaun-Tony-Jason had reeled her in with banter and she’d been their willing captive, their faithful stooge. Humour might be her superpower, but it was also her Kryptonite and Evie was only now realising how successfully it had masked all the warning signs. ‘Get your priorities straight’ was what she’d been told, and finally , she had an inkling of what hers were. To really be with someone, you needed to connect with their whole self, not just their bright, shiny surface. You needed to know and have compassion for their weaknesses, their fears, their insecurities.
The truth was, Evie could see now that she craved that depth of connection, but so far, she hadn’t been brave enough to make it. Most likely because lacked the courage to let anyone know her own weaknesses and fears. Humour had protected her, kept her safe, but it had also limited her. Just like Leo’s fear of failure limited him. Time to break down some barriers, Evie decided. It would do them both a world of good.
‘So, the real Leo Hurst is funny,’ said Evie, gently. ‘Smart, funny and capable.’
Leo looked for a second as if he was about to stab her hand with his fork, but he settled for impaling a piece of tomato. Still didn’t put it anywhere near his mouth, though.
‘Would you please stop punishing that poor salad and eat!’ Evie demanded.
‘No!’ Leo glared at her.
‘Why not ?’ Evie glared back.
‘Because I fucking hate salad!’ he said. ‘I want one of those cheesy things you had!’
‘Oh, my spinach and feta gozleme,’ said Evie. ‘Fair call. It was delicious.’
Leo was still glaring. ‘I’ll go get one then, shall I?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Evie. ‘And while you’re up there, can you order me some baklava? With a little yoghurt on the side?’
Leo’s gesture to her as he walked off to the counter could have been a sign of acknowledgement. If you weren’t watching closely.
Evie took stock of her mood. All the anxiety birds that had been pecking away at her had flown, and she felt lighter, happier, and with a new sense of purpose. With Shaun-Tony-Jason, she’d fallen instantly, without questioning the wisdom of that. She’d fallen for the fun, the sexual chemistry, the shiny surface, and called that love when it wasn’t even close. Whereas with Leo, it felt like a process of discovery. Every time they talked, she learned something new about him. Of course, she would snog him again first chance she got. Possibly on the way back to the office. But to old Evie’s surprise, new and improved Evie was not going to mistake that for anything more than pure mammalian lust. New Evie was prepared to wait and see where this connection with Leo was going. Maybe it would deepen into love, maybe it wouldn’t. New Evie had her priorities straight and she was ready to make good decisions. Leo better hurry up with that baklava though or she would be having words.
‘They didn’t have yoghurt,’ said Leo, as he finally placed the sweet treat in front of her. ‘Only some Turkish cream stuff.’
‘Kaymak!’ said Evie, seizing her spoon with glee. ‘The best!’
‘You really enjoy food, don’t you?’ said Leo, with a half-smile.
Evie nodded. Baklava tended to stick to the roof of your mouth.
Leo took the first bite of his gozleme. He closed his eyes and tilted his head heavenward as he chewed.
He came back to earth to find Evie laughing at him and made a rueful face. ‘As I said. Old habits are hard to break. But I swear, if I never see a poached chicken breast again it’ll be too soon for me.’
They cleaned their plates in companiable silence and split the bill. Then the reality of their situation hit once more, and they shared an apprehensive look.
‘Any ideas?’ said Leo.
‘Not a one,’ said Evie. ‘Let’s head back to the office and work on it. But let’s not walk too quickly.’