Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
‘What are you two playing at?’ Nigel demanded. ‘You’ve been chelping away all morning!’
Evie said to Leo, ‘Seems we’ve learned how to chelp.’
‘Never too late to acquire new skills,’ Leo replied.
‘Seriously,’ said Ange. ‘What are you doing?’
Leo pumped his fist. ‘Kicking arse and taking names!’
‘I’ll kick your arse, my lad,’ Nigel warned.
‘We can’t tell you now,’ said Evie, ‘because we don’t have time–’
‘And we don’t want to!’ Leo cackled, then ducked as Nigel threw a pencil at him.
‘Forgive him.’ Evie gave Leo a hard stare. ‘He’s over-excited by the brilliance of our secret plan. Which will be revealed shortly, I promise. Unless it doesn’t work. In which case, we will never mention it again.’
‘You’re barmy, the pair of you,’ said Nigel, but he was smiling.
Janice also gave them the side eye when she wheeled in, and Evie and Leo were too busy on their phones to give her more than a quick thumbs-up as she placed scones and tea on their desks.
‘They’ve gone mad, Janice,’ Nigel informed her. ‘I blame that TikTok.’
‘I’m an OnlyFans girl meself,’ said Janice, causing Nigel’s scone to go down the wrong way.
At 11.40am, Evie had reached the end of her list. Leo was still talking, but she could hear that the conversation was winding up.
‘Done?’ she asked as he ended the call.
‘Done.’ Leo let out a whoosh of breath. ‘I haven’t talked that much in one stretch since I accidentally took cocaine at a fashion week party.’
‘How can you accidentally take cocaine?’
‘It was in a Vicks inhaler.’
‘Oh!’ Evie had many more questions, but they could wait for another day.
‘Well?’ she asked. ‘What’s the verdict?’
‘Mostly positive,’ Leo replied. ‘You?’
‘Same,’ said Evie. ‘And let’s not forget that the negative ones would be negative even if they won big on the lottery. It’s their default position.’
‘Of course, it’s still only theoretical at this point,’ Leo said, thoughtfully. ‘Even the most supportive customers could change their minds when the rubber hits the road.’
‘They could,’ agreed Evie.
‘And as I said last night, it might all be too late.’
‘It might …’
Leo grinned from ear to ear. ‘But we’re fucking geniuses, aren’t we?’
‘ Geniuses! ’ Evie reached out and high-fived him.
‘Bags you knock on Keith and Kev’s door,’ said Leo, swiftly.
‘You’re the boss,’ Evie reminded him.
‘Bugger,’ said Leo. ‘Okay. Power pose time …’
‘You’re a nut,’ said Evie, with affection. ‘You know, we could both go.’
‘ Another genius idea,’ said Leo. ‘Let’s do it right now. Before my sugar high from Janice’s scone wears off.’
‘You’re telling us the instant you get back!’ Nigel shouted after them. ‘Or I’ll give you a clout round the lug hole!’
‘What exactly is a lug hole?’ Leo whispered to Evie, as they stood outside Keith and Kev’s office door. ‘Do we both have one?’
‘ Shhh .’ Evie was in danger of getting the giggles. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock. ‘Ready?’
‘Do it,’ said Leo. ‘I’m right behind you.’
‘He smiled! Kev actually smiled!’ Evie told Nigel and Ange.
‘I thought I heard a ripping sound,’ said Nigel. ‘Now, I know it were the fabric of the universe.’
‘You’re all so mean,’ said Ange. ‘Kev is a lovely man.’
‘What the actual heck, Ange?’ said Leo. ‘Were the Spanish Inquisition lovely men? The Kray twins?’
‘He shook our hands, too,’ Evie pressed on. ‘Amazing!’
‘Keep an eye on them fingers,’ said Nigel. ‘If they start going all black with frostbite, they’ll have to come off.’
‘And Keith clapped us on the back, which isn’t unusual,’ said Evie. ‘Painful, but not unusual.’
‘It’s going to take a lot of work to set up all these initiatives,’ said Ange, who’d been flicking through their strategy paper.
‘And here’s me hoping for a pay-out and early retirement,’ said Nigel.
Evie and Leo exchanged a smile.
‘But wait, there’s more,’ said Leo. ‘A new idea that came up while we were talking. Turn Double K into a co-operative. Owned by customers and staff.’
‘Keith thought of that,’ said Evie. ‘We weren’t the only geniuses in the room.’
‘A co-operative?’ said Ange. ‘You mean we’d all get a share of the profits?’
‘If there are any profits,’ muttered Nigel.
‘Love your enthusiasm, Nigel,’ said Leo. ‘It’s a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds.’
‘Well, it’s a risk, isn’t it?’ said Nigel. ‘Plumbing Ultra played dirty before. Who says they won’t do it again?’
‘They absolutely will,’ said Evie. ‘No doubt about it. But Leo and I have already done a great job of painting them as – what’s “bad guys” in French?’
‘ Les guys mauvais ,’ said Leo. ‘Or something like that.’
‘Our customers are predominantly small-business owners,’ said Evie. ‘Which means they have a deep distrust of big corporates. Especially foreign ones, bless their xenophobic little hearts.’
‘Evie and I might have emphasised Plumbing Ultra’s French-ness as well as their big-ness,’ said Leo. ‘We can play dirty, too.’
‘And you came up with this idea yourselves?’ said Nigel.
‘No,’ said Evie. ‘We ordered it from the idea shop, and it got delivered this morning.’
‘Cheeky beggar,’ said Nigel, grinning.
‘Well, I’m very impressed,’ said Ange. ‘This took a lot of courage, as well as smart thinking. Thank you both for your hard work.’
‘You’re welcome, Ange, but please don’t slap me on the back.’ Leo gave his shoulder a cautious massage. ‘I think my scapula’s now permanently out of alignment.’
‘Suppose you two’ll be getting a promotion now?’ said Nigel, dourly.
‘Don’t worry, Nigel,’ said Leo. ‘We won’t forget the little people.’
This time, Nigel picked up a stapler. Leo grabbed his laptop to use as a shield.
‘This is a very expensive piece of kit!’ he warned. ‘Kev would not be pleased.’
‘Go to lunch, the pair of you!’ ordered Nigel. ‘Out!’
‘Fancy a pint?’ Evie asked, as they grabbed their bags and scarpered.
‘I think we’ve earned one, don’t you?’ said Leo. ‘Although now all the adrenaline’s wearing off, I’m starting to think fondly about an afternoon nap.’
At the lift, Evie pressed the button. Leo caught her hand and kissed it.
‘Thanks for everything, Evie Martin,’ he said. ‘You are the absolute best thing in my life.’
Evie smiled. ‘You’re pretty darn awesome, yourself, Leo Hurst.’
She moved closer, wrapped her arms lightly around him. Leo looked startled.
‘What if someone sees us?’ he said. ‘Kev, for example?’
‘I think he’ll say we make a good team.’ Evie pulled Leo just a smidge more tightly to her.
‘He might also tell us to get back to work,’ said Leo. ‘Ange is right. We have a lot to do.’
Evie stood on tiptoes and brushed her lips against Leo’s. ‘All the more reason to take a break and recharge. Build up our strength.’
‘With a pint?’ Leo murmured, his mouth hovering over hers.
‘And chips,’ said Evie. ‘Maybe even a steak and kidney pie …’
‘You really know how to drive me insane, don’t you?’
A minute or so later, Hayley from sales came by.
‘Get a room ,’ she said, in disgust. And over her shoulder as she stalked off, ‘If this wasn’t my last week, I’d report you!’
‘She’s so not getting a leaving cake.’ Evie pressed the lift button again. ‘Come on, our pints and pies are waiting.’
‘Can I have a sticky toffee pudding for afters?’ said Leo.
‘If you share it with me,’ Evie said.
‘You drive a hard bargain, Martin,’ Leo said, as the lift moved downward. ‘Remind me to send you in to negotiate my next pay rise.’