Chapter Seventeen
EVAN
Sitting here in the living room of the penthouse, it feels empty.
The void of her presence is felt by the three of us.
After kicking Karla’s ass to the curb, we all came up here and have been sitting in silence, lost in our thoughts, for hours.
Cam has tried calling Ralph more than a dozen times, but he just keeps sending his calls to voicemail.
Guilt has been gnawing at me. I knew something was wrong with her and I didn’t stop to check on her while we were fucking.
I thought she was into it but I knew when she didn’t come that something was up.
I tried to ask her but she took off running.
When I saw her out front with her mother, my heart dropped.
I was terrified she would leave with her and I would never see her again.
I love Quin and Cameron, but I've always been in love with her.
Sian Bailey has occupied a place in my heart for years.
I should have told her it was me behind the mask, but I was scared she wouldn’t return my feelings and I just wanted to have her for a little while.
I never meant for it to carry on this long, but I couldn’t stop it.
I’ve always been lost when it came to her.
I turned to my faith in the hopes it would help me curb my hunger and lustful thoughts about my little stepsister.
“How long are we gonna sit here with our finger up our ass while our girl is out there?” Quin’s question breaks the stilled silence and shocks me out of my inner thoughts. We’re sitting here in complete darkness, we didn’t bother to turn the lights on when we came in.
“Is she our girl?” Cam fires back.
I growl but Quin speaks before I get the chance to. “Yes, she fucking is. She’s hurt and angry.”
“She has every right to be,” I mutter. Quin places his hand on my thigh and gives it a squeeze, offering me a semblance of comfort.
“None of this is your fault,” he says. I nod even though he can’t see me.
I’m grateful he’s trying to make me feel better but we all know she ran because of me.
I lied to her and hurt her tonight. I broke her boundary by being too rough and I feel like a piece of shit for that.
I will never forgive myself for hurting her physically and emotionally.
“What if she doesn’t want to be ours?” Cam’s question has me sucking in a sharp inhale. Quin and I remain silent. I have no response to that because losing her was never an option. I would have worn that mask for the rest of my life if it meant I got to keep her.
“Don’t say that, she wants us.” Quin tries to sound certain but fails.
“I fucked up. I never should have touched her that first night,” Cam scolds himself.
“I was there too and she wanted it,” I defend.
“Doesn’t make what I did right,” he snaps.
“I forced her hand that same night. I’m not innocent in this either,” Quin adds.
“We all fucked up,” I throw out there. “I pushed her too hard tonight. I caused her to break down and run. This is my fault she isn’t here because I lied to her.
I was a fucking coward and hid my face, knowing if she knew it was me behind the mask I would never get the chance to know what it feels like to actually hold her in my arms.”
“Worst Thanksgiving ever,” Cameron mutters. I scoff at the fucker.
“I’m thankful for the time we had with her. She will always hold a part of my heart,” Quin says quietly.
“She’s always owned mine,” I admit.
“She held a place in mine when she should never have been on my radar. My want for her was one of the defining reasons I left the church. I knew having feelings for her the way that I did went against everything we are taught to believe in.”
“Want to know what I’m thankful for?” At the sound of her voice the three of us jump to our feet, we didn’t even hear the elevator ding with her arrival.
When she flicks on the lights, I don’t even close my eyes against the burn, too scared if I close them she will disappear.
She stands in the entryway with a large hoodie on that falls to her knees.
Her hair is piled into a messy bun on top of her head.
Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears, looking so small and fragile. I hate that look on her.
Cam moves forward to stand between me and Quin. “Yeah, baby, we want to know,” he says in a tone filled with love and compassion for the only girl each of us has ever loved.
She darts her tongue out and moistens her lips before speaking.
“I’m grateful that talking to Ralph made me realize that I only put up with my mother and her bullshit because I was afraid of being on my own.
” I bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep quiet and not lash out and tell her that her mother is a fucking leech.
“Are you still worried about being on your own?” Quin presses.
She shrugs and rolls her lips over her teeth. “I was.”
“What changed your mind?” I ask. She looks at me and I see sadness cloud her eyes and my stomach drops.
“You.” That one word knocks the air out of me. “I thought this was a joke to you three?—”
“No way!” Quin snaps.
“Never, baby!” Cam growls.
“I was prepared to end whatever this was to save myself the hurt, but Ralph encouraged me to come back here and get some closure so I wouldn’t spend my life wondering what if. Then I heard you all talking and I realized this was as real for the three of you as it was for me.”
“ Was ?” I hedge, a lump forms in my throat as I try to curb my rising panic.
“Yes.” I deflate and so do Quin and Cam, the rejection washes over me with the grace of barbed wire being drug over my skin.
“What we had is gone.” Pain lances my chest and I drop my gaze to the floor.
“I had no idea who the third man in your trio was.” I cringe in shame for lying to her and ruining this for us.
“Now that I do…” I wait for her to tell us to get fucked and she never wants to see us again.
“We get to start over with no secrets.” I snap my head up and stare at her in utter shock.
“What?” I breathe out.
She smiles timidly. “That’s if… I didn’t read this whole situation wrong and you guys do actually want me because if you don’t—” She doesn’t get a chance to finish that sentence.
The three of us rush her and wrap her in our arms. Cam kisses her but before he can deepen it I shove him aside and cup her face between my hands and force her to look at me.
“I am so sorry for hurting you tonight. I never?—”
She places a finger to my lips to silence me. Quin wraps his arms around her from behind and buries his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent.
“It wasn’t you,” she says softly. “I realized I was in over my head and terrified that my feelings weren’t reciprocated. Tonight I allowed fear to consume me and I ran.”
“Never run from us again,” I implore.
“I promise,” she vows.
“Allow us to make it up to you and show you without words what you mean to us,” Cam says as he steps up behind me, grips the hem of my shirt and pulls it up, forcing me to release my hold on her.
Her eyes instantly darken with lust. “Allow us to prove to you that you are the only person we now worship. You are the goddess we will pray to every day.” He begins to unfasten my jeans and pushes them down my legs, exposing my cock.
Her eyes instantly drop to take in the sight of it and hunger shines in those green orbs.
Quin begins to tug the hoodie over her head and tosses it to the ground.
She’s completely naked and the sight of her angelic body has my cock aching to be inside her.
Cam reaches around me and grips my shaft in his hand, making me groan as he begins to pump me.
Her mouth parts on a silent gasp as Quin mimics Cam’s move and he slides a finger through her folds and begins to circle her clit.
“You are the only person we will ever get on our knees for, baby,” Quin promises.
“You are our faith and we will worship you every day,” I add.
“Holy shit,” she pants and arches in Quin’s hold.
“There nothing fucking holy about what is about to happen to you,” Cam declares, sending a thrill through me.
There is no forgiveness to be asked for because I’m not fucking sorry about a single thing, Lord.