Chapter 3
Lilah’s voice is still in the air when the bedroom door slams. The whole house shudders with it.
He’s still on top of me, my pulse still going, two years of wanting her gone in about a minute and a half.
Her footsteps go down the hall and then down the stairs, hard enough that I can count them.
Kieran’s laugh fills the space she left, low and unguarded.
He’s actually laughing, his chest vibrating against mine, and his cock is still pressed against mine, hard and heavy and very much still there.
“Fuck, that was perfect,” he says. “Most delicious revenge I’ve ever gotten.”
I grab the back of his neck and drag him down for another kiss.
He lets me, opening for me, moaning against my mouth, and after a moment he takes over, his hand fisting in my hair.
I’m kissing a man in Lilah’s bed while she’s somewhere else in this house having the worst night of her life, and all I can think about is how good this feels.
How right. Like something I’ve been doing wrong for years and only now got the grip of.
When Kieran pulls back, he’s smirking. His eyes track down my face, my chest, my cock where it’s hard against my stomach.
“Look at you,” he says. “Are you a little slut, Chase?”
My face burns and my cock throbs and I make a sound that is not, under any circumstances, dignified.
“I don’t—” My voice is wrecked. “I don’t know. I’ve never—” I swallow. “I’ve never been this turned on in my life. Never felt this kind of rush, not with girls. What does that make me?”
Kieran’s smirk stretches, and he takes his time about it. His hand slides into my hair, gripping and pulling my head back.
“Well, you’re fucking gorgeous, so I’d be thrilled to be the one who helps you find out,” he says, grazing his teeth along my skin. “Kinda thought you and Nick were a thing.”
“Me and Nick?” I frown at that, and knowing what I know now about my body, I wonder.
Mostly straight, Nick had said. What did that mean?
Kieran’s lips trail down my throat, making my thoughts muddy as I scramble to figure out what the fuck is going on.
“You… Do you fuck guys?”
He laughs low in his throat, then sucks on my neck for a long moment. “I do, beautiful boy. Lilah always hated that I was pansexual. Turns out there’s a reason for her to feel that way.”
“I don’t know what I am.” I can’t stop watching as he rolls onto his back and pulls me with him.
“There’s no need to put a label on yourself, sweetheart. You’re young. Explore what turns you on. Have a little fun,” he says, running a hand down my spine. “Do you want to touch me?”
His body is laid out in front of me, and he’s going to let me play with it any way I like.
No one has ever given me a gift like this, a moment of pure exploration with no expectations, no questions asked.
I drop a kiss to the firm skin of his pectoral muscle, moaning at how hot and hard and completely right it feels against my lips.
I’ve never been that into the softness of women’s breasts, I realize.
I guess I just thought I should find them sexy.
But this, this is sexy. I breathe in his musky scent, peppering kisses down to his nipples, which are pierced with steel rods.
He lets out a pleased sound as I let my tongue dart out, swiping across the skin and steel until he hardens under it, then licking and sucking the hard nubs.
Somewhere in the house, I hear Nick’s deep voice, and Lilah’s panicked one, and I blush as I imagine Nick finding me like this, naked and sucking Kieran’s nipples.
Mostly straight.
Would he climb into bed with us? Is that what he meant? All those times he’s teased me for saying stuff that sounded slightly gay, and he’s right. Hell, I might even be fully gay.
Kieran’s cock pulses against my stomach, and suddenly I need to taste it, so I move lower, stomach churning as I kiss and lick the hard ridges of his abs while I try to work up the nerve. Fuck, his body was built for me to worship.
“Mm, you like kissing me?” he asks.
My cheeks go hot, and I nod against his skin, then go back to exploring him, peppering kisses along his hip bone.
“Do you want to suck my cock?”
“Oh fuck,” I whisper. “Yeah, but I don’t know how.”
He laughs gruffly and threads his fingers through my hair, coaxing me lower. “Just explore. Take your time. Kiss and lick me first.”
My body fills with a hot rush of pure, uncomplicated want. He smells like soap and salt and warm skin, and when I get my mouth on his cock, everything in me stops arguing.
He’s silkier than I expected. I could stay here for hours, sucking on his skin, licking up drops of pre-cum as they pool beside his piercing, teasing the metal with the tip of my tongue, and tracing the vein in the underside of his shaft.
His cock is thick and heavy on my tongue, the head already slick, and I know he said to just lick, but I want my lips around him with a desperation I can’t explain. As I cover my teeth with my lips and lick them, making sure they’re nice and slick, he lets out a soft moan, gently guiding me lower.
His piercing catches my lip where the ring passes through his slit, and I make an embarrassing sound against him as I tongue around it carefully, the hard circle of it, the cool metal warming fast, and his hips jerk and his hand tightens in my hair.
“Fuck. Yeah, like that. You like my piercing?”
“It’s beautiful,” I say, lapping up another drop of pre-cum.
“Careful with your teeth, but wrap your lips around me if you can.”
I open wide and follow his instructions, moaning as his cock sinks into my mouth, filling a void I didn’t know I needed filled.
I suck him down as far as I can, which isn’t all the way, and drag back slow, the piercing bumping my lips on the way out.
My hands are on his thighs, and the muscle shifts and bunches under my palms, and I brace myself as I try to force him deeper.
He’s so fucking big. Thick in a way that makes my jaw ache and makes something in my gut clench with a need I don’t have a name for yet.
Or maybe I do, because I am empty in a way I can feel, and there’s only one thing for it: I need to be filled. And I don’t know if it’s him or just the fact that he’s a man, but my body is responding like it never has.
His cock hits the back of my throat. I gag a little and pull back, eyes watering, as I release him and suck in a deep breath.
“I want you inside me.” The words hit the air and I can’t take them back.
Instead, I lift my eyes to meet his. And he’s looking at me with hunger so raw that I know he feels it, too.
“I don’t care if this is just because we’re both pissed off at her.
I feel like I’m finally figuring out who I am, like I have answers I never expected.
I want—fuck, Kieran, I need to know what it’s like to be fucked. ”
He groans from somewhere deep in his chest. His hand slides from my hair to the back of my neck, gripping. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” My voice is barely there. “Please. You don’t understand—”
“I think I do.” Kieran lifts me and shoves me to my hands and knees in one smooth movement, and I go.
My palms hit the mattress and my ass is in the air.
I’m naked in a girl’s bed asking to get fucked by her boyfriend, which is several kinds of insane.
But all I feel is desperate, hungry in a way that makes everything else small.
His bag is on the floor by the wall, and I watch him walk over to it and unzip it. There’s a soft thud of things being moved aside and he steps forward with a small bottle, popping open the cap.
“Lube,” he murmurs. “I don’t have condoms.”
“I don’t fucking care.”
He laughs. “Well, considering we’ve both been fucking the same girl and that’s it, I suppose you can take me raw if you like. I get tested.”
I look back over my shoulder at his cock, starved for it.
“Me too. Please, just put it in me.” I sound whiny and I know it, but he just gives an affectionate laugh and crawls into bed behind me.
He grips my hips, steadying me, and then his slick finger circles my hole and every thought in my head evaporates.
I whimper. The sound is high and raw. I bury my face in the pillow and arch my back, making sure I’m open for him when he presses in, slow and relentless, working me open. How can I go from being obsessed with a woman to being obsessed with this in a matter of minutes?
Is it because I’ve always wanted it and just never knew?
The stretch burns, the burn shifts into something else, and I’m clutching the sheets and rocking back against his hand because more, I need more, and I don’t understand why I need it so badly except that my body knows something my brain is only now catching up to.
“Fuck, you’re a needy little slut,” he murmurs.
I am, so I don’t argue. A second finger enters me. The stretch doubles, aching, and I moan into the pillow and let him work me. His other hand rubs slow circles on my hip, the touch almost gentle, and that contrast makes my cock drip against the sheet.
My mind grapples for an explanation, and I realize I’ve always looked at men.
And maybe all this time, I’ve been pretending to be Nick’s best friend but I wanted him to pin me down like this.
The thought surfaces and I let it, let myself see it plainly for the first time.
Nick’s ridiculous body, the solid bulk of him, the easy way he fills a room.
How many times I’ve watched him at the pool, or shirtless after a game, and told myself it was just—what?
Admiration? Normal? I’ve been telling myself nothing for years.
Kieran scissors his fingers and I cry out and snap back into my body, back into the hot tight stretch of being opened for the first time. But now, I want Nick here, too. I don’t just want this hot, dominant tattooed stranger, I want my best friend to fuck me.
“Kieran,” I say, “please, I need—I’m ready, please fucking—”
“You sure?” His voice is rough, controlled, like he’s working to keep it that way.