Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Prophet
All the anger that’s steadily been building up at how selfish Rosa was to keep Cami from me seeps out when I realize that the reason Phoebe brought me my daughter is because Rosa is dead.
Based on what she’s shared, that bitch never planned to tell me, and even though she’s now gone, I’m livid at how once again, she tried to manipulate me and my life.
She takes a few more deep breaths as she mops at her tears which have been steadily flowing and continues.
“She had left me a letter, and apparently, she had recently been diagnosed with cancer that had already metastasized to the point it was terminal. Rather than suffer, she chose to take herself out of the equation. She left information about you, Eli,” she says, turning to look at me.
“And as soon as her affairs were wrapped up, I came to find you. She was cremated and I have the cremains for Cami once she’s older, of course.
Plus, I was the beneficiary on her checking and savings accounts, so I’ve closed those accounts and started one for Cami.
All the information for that is in the envelope that’s in her diaper bag, along with her birth certificate, the life insurance policy that Cami’s the beneficiary of, her medical records, and the attorney’s information who handled Rosa’s affairs in case you have any questions. ”
I have questions, a million of them, but I truly don’t know where to start. Thankfully, Rebel does, and he asks, “So, Rosa lived with you all this time?”
“On and off, but definitely since she broke up with Eli,” Phoebe admits.
“With you being related to Cami as well, why not keep her since she knows you?” Rebel questions.
“Because she has a father.” Phoebe’s statement is short and succinct. “There’s no way I’d keep her from him, even though he was never told she existed. I’m not like Rosa. She was… well, I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but she was fundamentally broken in ways I’ll never fully understand.”
I look at Rebel and state, “She was in and out of foster care due to her home life. She spent time at my granny’s house, in fact, which is how I first met her back when she was thirteen.”
Phoebe nods then adds, “But that wasn’t the first time, Eli.
She was in and out of various placements from the time she was two or three if memory serves.
And to answer the unasked question of why she wasn’t placed with my family, my parents tried their damndest, but my father was an ex-con and that put them in the ‘no go’ zone.
Even though what he did happened when he was seventeen, family services weren't willing to take the chance. Instead, Rosa was tossed around like confetti and some homes were obviously better than others. Still, it obviously messed her up.”
I can definitely agree with her account about that since many of Rosa’s issues impeded us having anything remotely close to a healthy relationship. Rosa’s answer was to scream, yell, and throw things, while I was all about talking things through and working on either a compromise or a solution.
“She never really had a chance, did she?” Holly asks, her voice trembling as she swipes at a few tears. “It amazes me how broken our system is sometimes. Especially if she could’ve gone to a family member but because of their rules, she was denied that love and attention.”
Phoebe nods then says, “The best placement she had was with Eli’s grandparents, to be honest. His grandmother was firm but loving, and actually taught Rosa how to comport herself.
Still, I think it was too late in a lot of ways.
But to ease your mind, Eli, because I’m sure you’re wondering, she was a good mom to Cami.
Plus, I was there to help, since she did have post-partum depression pretty bad for the first month or so.
Cami’s healthy, up to date on her vaccinations, and a very happy girl. ”
I’m going to need help with her, I know this, especially since the tattoo parlor is now officially open and the shop is packed with clients from the moment we unlock the doors until the end of the day when we flip over the closed sign.
Holly must see the panic on my face because she speaks up.
“Prophet, between me, Marnie, and my grandma, we’ve got Cami covered with respect to babysitting.
Plus, you know my grammy, she’ll teach you everything you want to know about caring for a baby. ”
“I need a house,” I muse. While I still have my studio apartment, it’s more or less used for all the sentimental things that were my grandparents, as well as some of my stuff I’ve gathered over the years.
My room here at the clubhouse is a decent size, but right now, neither place is sufficient to house me and a baby who’s going to have a shit ton of stuff.
“Brother, we’ll get you one of the larger suites for the time being. No sense in you jumping into anything just to have a place,” Rebel states.
“I can help keep Cami on my off days as well,” Phoebe offers. “Plus, you’re going to need to come and get her furniture and stuff.”
I’ve gone up against some serious opponents in my life, even fought to survive a time or two and never felt the fear that is currently coursing through my body the way it is right now at being responsible for raising a child.
I can feel myself spiraling as a cold sweat forms between my shoulder blades.
“Prophet!” Rebel’s voice pulls me out of the abyss I was sinking into, and I focus on him.
“You lived with your grandparents, correct?” At my nod, he says, “So, you probably helped with the foster kids from time to time. The only difference now is that Cami is your flesh and blood and you’re worried that you’re going to fuck her up. Am I correct?”
I start to nod when he barks out, “Use your words, dammit!”
“Yeah, pres, that’s exactly what I’m thinking,” I admit.
“Prophet,” Holly says, “don’t forget, you’re not alone in this at all. The Steel Raiders are family, and everyone will help as much as possible while you wrap your head around all of this.”
Her words settle me more than anything else and I’m finally able to take a deep breath. “Sorry for freaking out, y’all. This is… this is a lot to process.”
“But you’re not doing it alone,” Rebel asserts.
“Just like Holly said, every one of your brothers, as well as Esther, Paul, and Marnie, are here for you. And it sounds like Phoebe is as well. So, first things first, we’ll move the pack and play we have into your room, then tomorrow, we’ll go to Phoebe’s and get her crib and stuff. If that’s okay, Phoebe?”
She gulps and I think reality is setting in about the fact that Cami isn’t going to be under her roof any longer. “Yes, that’s fine. I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll go home and start boxing stuff up.”
“No, you won’t,” Holly decrees. “We’re celebrating Marnie and Ash’s wedding today, so you’re coming back out to the common room and enjoying yourself.
We’ll come and help tomorrow, there’s no reason for it to be all on your shoulders.
Plus, you’ll be around, I’m sure, so you can visit with Cami since she’s your cousin. ”
“Good idea,” I state. “Let’s go do that before everyone realizes we’re all missing.”
Rebel chuckles while shaking his head. “The alcohol is flowing, but regardless, you know how we roll, Prophet.”
“She’s beautiful, Prophet,” Esther says, looking down at my sleeping girl.
“Yeah, she is,” I reply, my own gaze not leaving the chubby cheeks or the bow lips that are pursed like she’s about to blow a kiss or something.
“I’m here for whatever you need,” she states. “But I won’t overstep.”
Holly, overhearing her grandmother, starts giggling. “You know you will, Grammy, but it’s okay, it comes from a good place.”
“I’ll take all the help I can get, my granny usually didn’t take in babies or infants unless it was a quick emergency placement, and of course, I didn’t help with those cases,” I admit. “So, diaper changes, baths, feeding, all those things, are new to me.”
Phoebe, who has stayed close, whips out her phone and says, “If you’ll give me your number, I have Cami’s schedule in my notes that I can send to you.”
I rattle off my phone number and within a minute or so, hear the chime letting me know I’ve got a text. “Appreciate it, Phoebe,” I say as I look at what she sent.
“I’m sure you’ll have to adjust it to fit your schedule,” she replies, “but she’s an easygoing baby, so you shouldn’t have any problems at all.”
With the reception still in full gear hours later, we’ve gravitated to a corner that’s a little more private.
Cami seems content in my arms, which kind of shocks me because from what I remember growing up with Granny, babies don’t typically react well when they’re around someone new.
Looking at the schedule again, I realize it’s long past time for her to be put down for bed.
“I should probably get her settled in the pack and play for the night,” I murmur. Suddenly, I’m nervous about being alone with my daughter. What if something happens? Before I can spiral, I feel Phoebe’s hand on my arm.
She gives my arm a gentle squeeze before stating, “Let me give you a hand, then I’m going to head out so I can get some rest before tomorrow.”
I gladly take her assistance and it’s not long before Cami is snuggled into her temporary bed, sound asleep even though the party downstairs is still going strong.
“I’ll walk you out,” I tell Phoebe as she gathers her purse and walks toward the door.
If she hadn’t had a baby monitor in the diaper bag, I’m not sure I would’ve offered that, but with it all set up, I feel confident about heading downstairs with Phoebe long enough to make sure she gets to her vehicle safely.
Not that there should ever be an issue since we’re on club property, but I was raised by a man from a generation where women didn’t walk by themselves.
Despite the fact that I’m now living in a completely different world, my early raising hasn’t deserted me yet, and I don’t foresee it going anywhere as old as I am now.
“You don’t have to do that, Eli,” she states. “I’m perfectly capable of walking to my car by myself. Been doing it for years now.”
“My gramps would beat my ass if I let a woman walk herself to her vehicle without an escort,” I reply. “He may be gone now, but I don’t relish waking up to his ghost yelling at me.”
She giggles then nods. “Fine, since I don’t want you to be haunted, I’ll accept your kind gesture.”
What she doesn’t know is it gives me a few more minutes in her presence.
I find her fascinating, intelligent, and it goes without saying, kind and generous.
Hopefully, if I play my cards right, I can coax her into seeing me as more than Cami’s father.
Because I want it all, just like my brothers have with their ol’ ladies and what I want, I usually manage to acquire.