12. My Father Did Not Change
My Father Did Not Change
At least not then and not toward me.
Where my mother barely had time
to glance my way anymore,
my father did his best to make
an effort to carve moments with me.
Of course, he was preoccupied.
Crafting oceans and seas
and teaching his sons
the rules of godhood
took up much of his time.
But one day when I sat alone
on the sands watching his ocean’s
cerulean waters
devour the orange glow
of a setting sun,
he came to find me.
‘Styx,’ he said warmly,
‘my eldest child.
Why are you here alone?
You should bring your brothers
with you. They will keep you company.’
By now my brothers
were so numerous
it was hard to count them all.
I shook my head.
‘I prefer the silence here.’
The palace had become too chaotic for me.
I had caught my youngest brothers
going through my chambers
and running away with
my favourite oyster-shell comb,
and stealing the jewels I had collected
from the seas, much to my outrage and anger.
‘I know this has been difficult.’
Oceanus lowered himself
to the warm sands next to me.
‘But you must know
your mother and I
treasure you as our eldest.’
Instead of saying petulantly,
It does not feel that way,
I kept my eyes trained on the sun.
‘Styx, you must know
as the oldest child
of the oldest Gods,
you are a herald
of a brand-new age.’
I could not stop myself.
When he said these words
my acerbic tongue sprang to life.
‘Are all heralds powerless, Father?
Am I meant to be the only one
with no gifts to speak of?’
He gazed at me troubled, before saying,
‘Your brothers do not
have such fine gifts either, Styx.’
I glared at him.
‘You blessed each of them
to become a God of your rivers, Father.
Does that not count as a gift?’
I saw the dangerous storm
start to swirl in his eyes.
But then he closed them and said,
‘Oceanids will gain consorts
and through them,
you will find power.
And as my eldest,
you will gain the most power,
more than you realize.
But the Potamoi must
look after themselves.’
I seethed at his words.
‘Is that all I am made for?
To be a symbol of status for a consort
and never have anything of my own?’
My father sighed
and rested his hand on my head.
‘You are destined for more
than you ever dreamed of.
Be patient, my child.
You do not know
what the future holds,
only the Fates do.’
There was something
about the way he spoke,
his voice low and rumbling
like an oncoming hurricane.
He knew something about me
that I was unaware of.
Something even my mother
did not yet know.