57. I Placed Her on My Mother’s Chest
I Placed Her on My Mother’s Chest
as I had done with all my sisters before.
But instead of pulling her close
and blessing her, my mother simply
turned her head away.
‘Styx,’ Phoebe said, taking the baby
from my mother’s chest,
‘you are to tell no one of this.’
She looked to Asteria too.
‘Either of you.’ She swaddled
my new sister in silken threads,
and held her close. ‘I will tell the world
that she is mine. And she will live
in Coeus’s and my palace.’
I stared at the baby, unable
to understand what was happening.
‘But she is my sister.’
My voice was small and hoarse.
‘She is.’ Phoebe paused, then said
kindly, placing her hand
on my face, ‘You should name her.’
I touched my baby sister’s head.
My heart ached to know her already.
‘Metis. Call her Metis,’ I whispered.
Phoebe nodded, and before I could
wish her well, spirited the child out the door,
walking quickly from Oceanus’s palace.
I heard a soft whimper and I turned.
There, my majestic mother
was already on her feet as she was
after every single birth.
But this time, her eyes were filled
with a thousand unshed glistening tears.
I felt a hand take mine and squeeze,
and turned to look at Asteria’s face.
All I saw there was kindness and sorrow.
And for the first time I gave myself
permission to let someone hold me as I wept.