189. Motherhood
Motherhood
It was unseemly to have even a modicum of joy in this time of deep crisis and agony, and yet…
motherhood surprised me. It found me holding my children, enjoying their little laughs.
Their shouts of discovery inside Oceanus’s palace, even with the din of war shaking the glass and leaving thin crevices along the floors.
Their quick growth meant I had less time to enjoy their sweet little voices, their unsteady footsteps as they learned how to walk, their claps as I showed them flowers, starfish, other little things that held their attention.
I danced with Nike as she listened to my sisters play the flute and I laughed as Kratos learned how to steal my little seashell brush to brush his own hair.
I longed for Asteria still. Wished I could show her how lovely my Nike was.
Wished I could introduce her to boisterous little Kratos.
I wondered often what she would say when she met them.
But if I thought of her too long, my heart would ache.
A hundred times I thought to write. But I did not know what to say, and we were forbidden from sending messages to each other in case the Olympians read some piece of secret in them that could win them the war.
So instead I held my children close. Even now in the middle of all this tragedy and fear, I found little moments of peace with my growing children.
Even now in moments of despair, I found little moments of hope.