Chapter 12
Rose had been hiding in her room crying.
When she’d been dumped before by Richard, she’d done the same thing, but that time she’d been more humiliated than anything else. So she’d been able to see herself from a distance and had felt a little amusement about the melodramatics.
This was different though. She couldn’t see herself at a distance at all. She could only acknowledge, over and over again, what had happened.
She hadn’t been careful after all. She’d fallen in love with her boss. Her boss who was and who would always be off-limits.
And now she’d lost both him and the two girls she adored.
She knew the next day she would have to start to pull her life together, decide what she would do from here on out—whether she would find another nanny job or maybe, maybe see if she could start going to college.
She could major in Education, like she always wanted.
She could get student loans and take classes part-time.
There was absolutely no reason not to do it.
But today she couldn’t even think about such a possibility, because the whole future seemed dark and bleak without James and the girls.
Surely she was allowed one day to hibernate before she had to start being strong.
So she was annoyed when she heard some noise from downstairs. It was after eight in the evening. Her grandmother or Kelly wouldn’t have visitors over this late. Maybe it was just a neighbor stopping by.
Either way, she wasn’t going to go down. She wasn’t going to see anyone. Not today.
Tomorrow would be a different story.
When she heard the knock on the door, she got out of bed with a surge of determination. If Kelly was expecting her to be strong tonight and visit with some old friend, she was just going to have to tell her sister off. It wasn’t going to happen.
Then she opened her door, and the first thing she saw was James—looking like a half-crazed Prince Charming.
He looked awkward and embarrassed and dryly self-deprecating, and the little girls in their pajamas were saying things that suddenly filled Rose’s heart with hope.
After all, James was carrying flowers. Surely they were for her. And he was here after dark just to look for her.
Maybe… maybe… maybe…
Neither she nor James said anything until the others made their way downstairs. Rose clutched at the flowers James had given her. There were way too many of them, and they were just awkwardly bunched together instead of prettily arranged.
She didn’t care though. One of the girls had obviously picked them, and James had given them to her.
“Hi,” James said after a moment of silence.
Rose dropped her eyes and then lifted them again. “Hi.”
“Are you okay?”
She cleared her throat. “I’m okay. What about you?”
It was a stupid conversation, but at least they were saying something. James’s eyes were devouring her face as if he were hungry for the least detail about her appearance.
Like he thought she was his and he was hers.
“I’m not okay,” he said, shaking his head with a dry chuckle. “I’m here in a top hat and jacket making a complete ass of myself.”
“I don’t think you’re an ass,” she said rather foolishly before she could stop herself.
His face softened palpably.
“Why are you here?” she asked, needing to know, although it was hard to think anything else at the moment. She still needed to hear the words.
So James said them. “Because I love you,” he said. “I’m crazy in love with you. And you left me. You left us.”
Rose just about burst into tears.
As she stood there twisting her face and breathing unevenly, James jumped into action. “Shit, please don’t cry, baby. That’ll be the end of me.” He put an arm around her and led her to the bed, where both of them sat down on the edge.
She managed to pull herself together. “Sorry,” she said, taking a few deep breaths. “I’m not crying.”
There were a few tears streaming down her cheeks, but she figured that didn’t really count.
“I’m sorry I left,” she managed to say, sniffing a little and turning to look at him. “I didn’t want to. I felt terrible. I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“I know,” he said, reaching out to take her face in his hands.
“I know, Rosie. It’s all my fault. I put us in a weird limbo place, and it wasn’t fair to you.
I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I was just so afraid that taking that risk would mean I’d lose everything—for you and the girls.
But that chance is so much better than not doing anything.
I don’t want you to be the girls’ nanny anymore. ”
Rose was trembling from feeling and excitement. “You don’t?”
He shook his head. “No. I want you to be… a lot more.”
She had to close her eyes and breathe again so she didn’t start sobbing with joy.
Evidently taking her expression for hesitance, James hurried on, “I’m so sorry about everything.
I know it’s too soon to expect you to feel what I do.
What Julie said earlier, that’s what I want.
That’s what all three of us want from you.
But I’m not here to put pressure on you like that.
We can just date to begin with, if you’re interested I mean.
No pressure. No expectations. No future already mapped out for you.
Just me.” His eyes were more open and vulnerable than she’d ever seen them. “And the girls. If you want us.”
“I do want you,” she burst out, throwing her arms around his neck. “I want you all so much I can hardly contain it.”
James groaned with what sounded like relief, and he pulled her into a tight embrace, pressing kisses all over her face until he finally found her lips.
They kissed deeply, fiercely, with all of themselves. Nothing held back anymore.
Rose was too emotionally battered to get aroused, but she felt harder and deeper than she ever had before. No sex she’d ever had—not even with James—could compare to this feeling of absolute rightness.
She finally pulled away and kind of collapsed against his chest. He held her close, burying his face in her hair.
“So should I start looking for another nanny?” he asked hoarsely.
She choked on amusement and affection and pulled back to look at his face. “Yeah. You better. But maybe…” She hesitated, her old reservations rising up even in this situation.
“Maybe what?” he asked, cupping her face with one hand and stroking her cheek with his thumb.
She fought the reservations and said what she wanted. “Maybe hire a part-time nanny since I’m going to want to be around a lot. And maybe—if things work out—I’ll be around even more later on.”
His face broke with what looked like joy, and she knew she’d said the right thing. “I hope so, Rosie. The girls and I want you around all the time.”
They talked for a few more minutes, but it was late, and their loved ones were waiting downstairs.
When they came downstairs hand in hand, Kelly and Julie insisted it was the flowers that put him over the top while Jill declared it was the jacket and top hat and why wasn’t Daddy still wearing them.
Rose’s grandmother had the last word, as always, when she said it was a good thing James hadn’t come to Rose’s door in the disgraceful outfit he’d arrived in.
It simply wasn’t what a suitor should do.
“Daddy, you should wear the green shirt instead of that blue one,” Jill said while regarding her father with a seriousness that was well beyond her years.
“The green shirt!” Julie agreed loudly.
James looked down at himself. He had tried to look presentable tonight, so he was dressed in good black trousers and a blue dress shirt, and he was just about to leave for his first real date with Rose. He didn’t need to be second-guessing his outfit at this point. “This shirt is fine.”
“But Rose likes green,” Jill told him. “It’s her favorite color.”
“Wear the green shirt, Daddy!” Julie exclaimed, reaching up to tug his shirttails out of his pants.
James groaned. He’d had an early dinner with the girls and then gotten involved in helping Jill with her spelling homework. He hadn’t realized it was so late until Jill reminded him, so he’d rushed through a shower and dressed quickly.
Rose was living at her grandmother’s now, so he had to drive over twenty minutes to get over there to pick her up.
Being late for their first date wasn’t the impression he wanted to make for her.
But if Rose’s favorite color was really green…
“Okay,” he said, running a hand over his hair as he took the stairs two at a time. “The green shirt it is.”
He came back down five minutes later in the forest green shirt, and both of the girls clapped their hands in approval.
“Okay,” he said, checking to make sure everything was buttoned and zipped that was supposed to be. “I’ll be back late, so I’ll see you both tomorrow. You be good for Cheryl tonight.”
Cheryl was their new nanny of only one week, and it wasn’t always an easy transition for the girls, but James thought they were warming up to her.
“We’ll be good,” Jill promised.
“We’ll be really, really good,” Julie said.
“You better be. If you’re not good tonight, there won’t be dessert for you tomorrow either.”
The girls had misbehaved yesterday so they’d had no dessert today.
“We’ll be good,” Jill repeated as Julie whimpered softly over such a hardship.
He leaned over to kiss them both in turn.
“Be really nice to Rosie,” Jill said.
“I’ll do my best.”
“And don’t forget the flowers!” Jill handed him the small, delicate bouquet of forget-me-nots, tied with a satin ribbon, that the girls had helped him pick out that afternoon.
James took the flowers and kissed them again. Then he rushed out the door and to his car. He drove faster than normal and fortunately didn’t get stuck at any of the long lights, so he made it to the Beaufort house just two minutes past seven, which was when he was supposed to pick up Rose.
When he knocked on the door, his heart was racing and he was breathing a little quickly.
Rose opened the door, looking fresh and pretty in a pale green cotton dress.