Substitute for Love

Chapter 1 Avery

Chapter 1: Avery

Monday August 25, 7:35 AM

Avery Williams questioned her sanity. Why had she agreed to be a substitute teacher again? She shook her head.

Driving on the desert roads of west Phoenix, she passed lines of stucco homes and desert trees. “Mr. Cactus, what am I even doing here?” she asked the big saguaro staring at her as she stopped at an intersection.

That cactus doesn’t even know .

She clearly wasn’t cut out for the job. Probably. Couldn’t even find the actual school building on her first try. Avery sighed and pulled into the second school parking lot of the morning and chided herself.

“Desert Scorpion High School is not the same thing as Desert Thunder High School. Duh, Avery. ”

She cringed and gripped the steering wheel harder. Even though she had broken up with her ex and moved away, his daily phrase to her played on loop.

If Marshall were sitting right next to her right now, he’d be saying: “How could you get up in front of a classroom full of students if you can’t even find them? You should probably go home.”

She cleared her throat and held back a tear at the thought. Avery passed the first row of parking spots, all of them full, then stopped. Closing her eyes, she willed her thoughts of Marshall to disappear. They’d broken up. She was moving on. Think happy thoughts, Avery. You got this. Leaving him was the best decision she had ever made.

Avery opened her eyes and continued around the corner, down the next row of parking spaces, also full of cars. To be fair, she hadn’t lived in the Phoenix valley since she’d left for college ten years ago. Back in the day, this area was cotton fields. The neighborhood surrounding her, and the school, were brand new.

When she was eighteen, this town had been different. She had been different. Wide-eyed. Dreaming of becoming a famous author or at least having a job where she could read all day.

Her phone rang. Claire, her best friend from high school. They weren’t as close since Avery left for college, but she had hoped to reconnect now that she was back in Phoenix. Avery put her on speaker while she navigated the third row of parking spaces, hoping an open spot would magically appear. Music blared in the background of the call.

“Avery. Where are you?”

Back in the day, they had told each other everything. Claire always wanted her to come visit, but Avery was so busy with college, working, her love-interest who eventually became her boyfriend. And when she visited home she’d spend all her time helping Mom.

So yeah, Avery hadn’t told her about her subbing venture yet. She was going to, eventually. But Avery was hoping to get through the first day alive before she spilled the beans. Honestly, she had hoped this gig didn’t last long enough to even warrant mentioning it to anyone.

She sighed into the phone. “Where am I, Claire? Do you mean physically or emotionally?” Avery smiled for a moment. Yes, physically she was here, somehow. Emotionally, she was all over the place. She tried to give herself some grace. Avery certainly would do the same for Claire. She grabbed her water bottle to take a sip.

Claire chuckled. “Both. Me? So glad you asked. I’m at the stinkin’ gym, wondering where Avery girl’s at. You’re finally back in town, and you’re supposed to be spotting me so I don’t have to ask the creepy gym guy with short shorts and floofy hair. He looks like Richard Simmons.”

Avery spit out her water, droplets spraying on the steering wheel and the front of her shirt. “Oh my gosh, you have to take a picture. I mean, if it’s okay with the owner.”

“I’ll ask.” Claire paused, then pretended to speak to herself. “Yeah, it’s fine.” Claire being the owner of her own gym stung Avery a little, seeing how different their lives had turned out. She was happy for Claire. Cute, petite, blond, boy-crazy Claire. Opposite of Avery in so many ways. Avery never imagined leaving home to go to college would get her nowhere.

Navigating the parking lot, Avery wasn’t sure where to head next. Head home? No way. She could never abandon the school like that. Or worry Mom again.

Avery circled her trusty old Toyota, groaning as she gripped the steering wheel. The clock was ticking, and there were no more spots in the staff parking area. No more spots period. She exited the parking lot and found a side street by the neighborhood of stucco homes.

“But really, where are you?” Claire insisted.

Avery pulled into a spot in front of a house as close to the school as possible and shut off her car. “I’m at one of the newer high schools. Desert Scorpion.”

“Doing what?” Claire asked. “Looking for love? I heard janitors are super muscular.”

“Har, har. You know I’ve sworn off men since, well, you know. Breaking up with what’s-his-name.”

“Yeah I know,” Claire said dutifully. “I still don’t know what happened between you. We were supposed to be sisters-in-law. But it’s okay.”

Avery cleared her throat, pushing the thoughts of Marshall away. Even the mere thought of her ex made her ill. But she was moving on—physically, mentally, emotionally, and now professionally.

“Anyway,” Avery continued, “I decided to give substitute teaching a try. So here I am, ready to fill in for high school language and literature. At least it’s not math.” She grabbed her phone, purse, and water bottle and hoofed it toward the school. Thankfully the bit of water on her shirt was already drying.

Silence on the other end of the phone. “Claire? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, yeah, still here,” she responded. “I went into temporary shock when this girl I thought I knew told me she was trying something NEW. Something in front of people she doesn’t know. Something…”

Avery’s feet ached as she rushed across the street and onto campus. Maybe wearing tall wedges on her first day wasn’t a great idea.

“Oh shush, Claire. I try new things all the time. Books, for instance…” she trailed off.

“Seriously? Books don’t count. And even then you stick to the same authors and genres. How many times have you read Pride and Prejudice ? And you only ever had one boyfriend.”

Avery cringed. “Claire!”

“Okay, sorry,” she said. “Bad example. But this sub job could be really good for you. Get you out of your comfort zone.”

She could finally see the front door of the high school. “Ha! Not a chance. My comfort zone is way too… comfortable.” She joked but inside she really was hoping for a change. “Anyway, gotta go.”

Claire said, “Watch out for hot janitors; they have big muscles,” before Avery giggled and hung up.

She was running out of time. Picking each step as swiftly as possible, she finally made it to the double glass doors of Desert Scorpion and pulled them open. She waited at the front office window while an older lady with silver hair talked on the desk phone.

Avery pulled off her sunglasses and placed them on top of her head to hold her hair back. Beads of sweat dripped down the back of her neck. Was she nervous? No, it was nearly 90 degrees outside, plus she had been sort of running. Why had she returned to live on the surface of the sun again? Her college years and her time in Flagstaff had been a nice break from the heat.

Finally, Office Lady hung up the phone and smiled. “You must be?”

“Avery Williams. It’s my first day as a substitute teacher?” she asked it as a question in her mind and out loud. It was such a new thing, and one she hadn’t considered before moving back to Phoenix, even the word “substitute” felt awkward to say.

“Oh heavens! I thought you were a new student for a minute. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Avery smiled. Maybe being mistaken for a teenager was a compliment. She was a good eight years older than these students.

The woman reached through a slide window and handed Avery a binder with “Substitute Plans” plastered across the front in roughly handwritten Sharpie. The binder itself looked about as haggard she did. Frayed edges. Grubby. Tired.

“Down the hall, last door on the right, dear. Bell rings in about ten minutes.” Pointing the way, the office lady handed her a lanyard with a badge and jangling keys.

Avery finally let herself relax, at least a tiny bit. She had made it into the building before the bell, but now she had to worry about actually teaching. Over the past several years, she had experienced plenty of jobs. But nothing like teaching.

The school smelled like a mixture of Axe body spray and school supplies. Students milled about the hallways, groups of high school girls giggled together, a bunch of boys high-fived, and a few couples chatted with puppy eyes. Memories flashed in her mind of passing Marshall in the hallways of high school. Rerouting her day for a chance meeting with him. No, Avery. Focus.

She approached the classroom door the office lady had indicated. Deep breaths. This was really happening. She was about to be a teacher, er, a pretend teacher. She was a fraud. Sure, Avery met the qualifications for being a substitute teacher—college degree, passed a background check, a pulse—but other than that, she knew nothing about teaching.

Fumbling with the keys, she opened the door and turned on the lights. Book covers and literature quotes she recognized peppered the walls. Avery smiled. This was her kind of classroom. She headed toward the teacher’s desk and plopped down the binder.

A few students started trickling in. “We have a sub? We have a sub?” Their voices echoed.

“Good… good morning,” she choked out.

They probably thought this would be the world’s easiest day in language and literature. For them, it probably would be. But not for her. Avery imagined chewed gum and paper airplanes flying through the air, images from an old movie or something. She had hoped the school would have provided some training on classroom management, but they were so short staffed they simply threw her to the wolves.

Last night at dinner, Mom had told her, “Don’t worry so much. The school only wants you to keep them from burning the school to the ground until their regular teacher returns.” Mom would know. She had been a substitute teacher for a little while. But that was a long time ago.

Avery shook her head at the thought of students running amok. Teaching had never been on her radar, but she didn’t have much choice. Substitute teaching was instant and there was always something open, especially at these big Phoenix schools. So for now, this would pay her bills and hopefully help with Mom’s medical bills.

She took deep breaths to calm herself. It sorta worked. She went to sit, almost missing the chair, but thankfully she caught herself on the teacher’s desk. More students had filed in. They were too busy chatting to notice her clumsy moment.

Duh, Avery. Sheesh. Hold it together. She wasn't prepared for the onslaught of thoughts about Marshall being at a school would cause. Too many thoughts, too much anger, too much regret.

If only she was already experienced at being a substitute and had a routine down. Then she’d feel better. If only there was a book about a lonely substitute teacher, trying to navigate her first day of class, but there wasn’t. She had looked.

She was tired of feeling anxious all the time, and it seemed like things were always going haywire no matter how hard she tried. Claire had told her many times, “Focus only on what you can control in the moment.” She had been talking about lifting weights, but still it was good advice on where to place your focus.

Yes, okay. She could do that. Baby steps. Avery took a deep breath.

Opening the tattered substitute binder, all expected items were supposed to be inside. Rolls for each class period. Instructions for emergencies. An illustration of Desert Scorpion’s mascot, a scorpion. Ew, no. Not an unexpected mascot, but still, why?

She flipped more pages and found contact info for the front office. Daily schedule. School motto, or whatever.

Wait a second. What was this? Avery noticed the name at the top of the page: Mr. Spencer ? She thought she was subbing for Mrs. Strong. She scanned the pages. These were lesson plans for math! But she was clearly in the literature classroom, wasn’t she?

“Uh, this isn’t Mr. Spencer’s class, is it?” she asked the students, who were mostly chatting with each other. Panic started to build, her breathing quickening. A few students shook their heads. Mostly they didn’t pay attention.

One girl in a pink shirt replied, “Mr. Spencer teaches math down the hall in room 101. This is Mrs. Strong’s class.”

Yes, Avery remembered the name from when she signed up for it on the Substitute App. Plus, “Mrs. Strong” in vinyl letters was prominently displayed at the top of the whiteboard in front of the class, so at least she knew she was in the right place.

Office Lady had definitely handed her the wrong binder. Which wasn’t surprising. Avery imagined a stack of them, all identical, being handed out day after day, attempting to fill the void. How depressing. The sheer monotony made her rethink why she was even here at all.

She glanced at the clock. Six minutes until the bell. Maybe enough time to grab the right binder. But she’d have to decide on what to do first—head to the front office or take a chance and find whoever was subbing in Mr. Spencer’s class?

Avery closed the sub binder and headed toward the front of the class. She held it up. “Looks like I have the wrong substitute binder. I’ll be right back.”

She rushed down the hall, dodging high schoolers. One teacher stood in front of her classroom and said hi as Avery rushed by. Most other teachers were already in their classrooms, too busy writing on whiteboards or talking to students to notice.

Arriving at Room 101, Avery opened the door and searched the room. A few students looked up from their phones.

“Are you our sub?” one boy said.

“No,” she said as the door closed behind her. “I’m subbing in another class. Wait, your sub isn’t here yet?” A few students shook their heads and went back to talking to each other.

Great. Avery would have to run to the office now. For a split second she thought about taking off her wedges but imagined how dirty the floor was and decided to take her chances.

She turned and opened the classroom door abruptly to find a tall, dark-haired man standing outside.

Avery gasped. “Oh! You scared me.”

His big blue eyes definitely didn’t scare her. They held each other’s gaze, the cute man standing a few inches above her.

A few students behind her snickered and a few of them whispered. “Oh, he’s the cute sub ,” one girl said. “He covered my PE class yesterday.”

For what seemed like an eternity, Avery and the man silently stared at each other. His curly dark brown hair was right on the line between wild and stylish.

“Hi.” The man’s eyes searched Avery’s. “I’m Gabe,” he shook his head. “I mean, Mr. Manwaring. I’m subbing in this class today. I think?” His deep voice was soothing. A few of the girls giggled behind Avery. Her heart beat in her throat.

Nope. Not now, Avery. You’re over men. Plus, you’re at work. Act professional.

“Oh. Yeah. Uh. I think so.” Why couldn’t she talk? “The office gave me your binder by mistake,” she said, holding it up.

He smiled, his dimples showing. A smile like a little mischievous boy. “Oh. Well, thanks for bringing it to me.”

Avery smiled. “Sure.” She waited for him to reciprocate. But he stared at her face, a goofy grin emerging. She narrowed her eyes at him, questioning his motives. “Is that… I mean, maybe you have my sub binder?” She pointed to the binder in Gabe’s hands.

“Oh. Yeah,” he said. “Here.”

They each held out their binders and made the trade with opposite hands, each with an awkwardly professional smile. Avery opened the new-to-her binder to see Mrs. Strong’s lesson plans inside. Thank goodness.

“Hard to believe this has never happened to me before,” Gabe said. “These binders all look alike.”

“Yeah,” she said. She wanted to ask him something, anything. But her mind went blank. His dark blue button-down was tight over his muscular shoulders and arms, though his shirt was slightly coming untucked from his Dockers. Gabe was wearing what looked to be comfortable sneakers with a little dirt on them, like he had recently gone on a hike or had been digging or something.

“Have you subbed before? I don’t remember seeing you,” he said.

She shook her head. “Nope. First day. I’m a bit terrified, to be honest.” What was she saying? And to this cute guy?

He laughed, a heart-warming, carefree laugh and leaned toward her, a hint of his musky aftershave reaching her nose. Her heart fluttered as she breathed in.

“Jump in with both feet,” he said. “You’ll do fine.”

Avery raised an eyebrow. “That’s your big advice? Jump in with both feet?” Easy for him to say.

Gabe grinned confidently. “Every time.”

“Hmm,” Avery tilted her head, eyeing him. “I’m more of a ‘dip a toe in and check the temperature’ kind of person.” Especially after the last few years, Avery needed to be careful.

He chuckled, shaking his head, the dark curls on his head shifting. “Nah, that’s no fun. You never know what treasures you’ll miss if you don’t just leap in.”

“Or you trigger a trap,” she countered. “And suddenly the ceiling’s collapsing on you.” That’s definitely how life felt to Avery lately.

Gabe’s blue eyes lit up. “Then you channel your inner Indiana Jones and dodge the boulder.”

Avery couldn’t help but smile at his optimism. “You really think life’s one big adventure, don’t you?”

He flashed a dimpled grin. “Isn’t it?”

She sighed, shaking her head. “We’ll see.” Avery hesitated, the pull to stay stronger than Avery wanted to admit. “Well, I’d better get back.” Avery pointed behind her with her thumb over her shoulder. “The students are probably taking over the class by now.”

Gabe nodded and winked. “They like to do that.”

She blushed and turned to walk away, smiling to herself. Dang, he was cute.

“Wait. What’s your name?” Gabe asked.

She stopped and turned back. “Avery,” she said, a sudden rush of nerves entering her throat. “Er, Miss Williams.” She hoped she didn’t look awkward. Avery had been doubting herself the past few years, and her uncertainty bled into every little decision—including becoming a substitute teacher. Avery wasn’t sure this was a good idea. But for a brief moment, with Gabe in her sights, things were looking up.

He gave her a small wave. “Good luck, Miss Williams.”

Avery gave him a small smile, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest. “Thanks. You, too.”

The classroom door closed between them and Avery slapped her hand to her forehead. “You, too?” She shook her head as she returned to her classroom as the bell rang.

Back at the teacher’s desk, she opened the binder and scanned the lesson plans, which outlined discussion points and a write-up for the book they were reading. She kept reading through them as the morning announcements blared over the loudspeaker, a run-down of sporting events, plus something about a dance this coming weekend.

Avery caught herself wishing she had another excuse to walk down to Mr. Manwaring's class. Any excuse would do, she was not picky. His goofy grin and big biceps flashed in her mind. Avery bit her lip as she smiled.

Her stomach did a somersault. Her? Wish for… No. She was done with all that. She did not trust men—or herself for that matter. She was moving on. Focusing on herself for a change.

The morning announcements were done. Time to start class. “Hi, I’m Miss Williams.” She took a deep breath. This was really happening. “Let’s take roll.” She pulled out the first period roster and started calling names.