Substitute for Love

Chapter 14 Avery

Was Gabe stalking her somehow? She dismissed the idea. Duh, Avery . He’d been to the library before. And he clearly doesn’t care about you. But she thought about their kiss anyway. The kind of kiss from a romcom you watch on repeat because it’s just that good.

She sighed away the euphoria and pushed the memory away. Obviously she liked Gabe, but she wasn’t the type to go around and kiss a guy who wasn’t going to stick around. A guy who wasn’t going to take her seriously. She’d been down that road before. No thanks.

“I… uh… I’m doing some research,” he said, hunched over the computer, barely looking at her.

Avery wasn’t sure what to think. The man in front of her was an enigma. Super cute, easy going, hero type, who likes kissing girls he barely knew. He could probably have any girl he wanted, which was probably Claire. And yet, she found herself wishing things weren’t awkward between her and Gabe.

Avery folded her arms. “Research for what?”

He looked at his computer screen, then back up at her. “Stuff.”

Normally she would giggle, but they were in the library and she was still reeling from discovering his recent relationship with Claire. Which seemed so dumb. They were still co-workers. And friends. Maybe, too, Avery didn’t have the whole story of the Claire-Gabe relationship.

Because Marshall had texted. He was coming to town and wanted to talk. That’s why she was at the library. Her brain was swirling around in circles. Books always calmed her down.

Gabe stood and walked over to her. “Can we talk?” he whispered.

Heat rose through her throat. She nodded. Anxiety frazzled her nerves as she wondered what he was going to say. Would it break her heart or give her hope?

He grabbed her hand and led her outside. The Phoenix weather had cooled somewhat, and a slight breeze brushed her skin as they sat on a bench under a tree.

“Did you read my text?” Gabe asked. “From last night?”

Avery sighed. “No. I did notice you spent a hundred years trying to come up with something to say last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to open your message this morning.”

The truth was, she was too busy worrying about what Marshall wanted. To get back together? To try to get more money from her? Since distancing herself from Marshall, she’d realized how much of a hold he had had over her. But why? He had betrayed her, and she’d let him. Avery had a lot of things to figure out before he came to town.

“Well. You should open it. I worked hard on it.” Gabe seemed sincere, but there was a slight smirk that made Avery question his motives.

She opened his text. “I’m sorry.” Two words, but it said volumes. Her heart melted a bit. Gabe was a grown man, but he was also a puppy.

His apology was vulnerable and tender, like he had treated her last night. Not that she was going to let him off that easily. “Wow. Two words. That must have been so hard for you.” She rolled her eyes. What in the world was his angle?

His big blue eyes were like a puppy wanting love. “But I really am sorry. For everything. I mean, I’m not very good at this.” He ran his hand through his hair.

“This? This what?” she questioned.

“Girls. I’m terrible at relationships. I always go full speed then it falls apart.” He paused, searching the sky. “I really thought things were different with you.” He locked eyes with her and she melted like an ice cream cone in July.

Wait a second. He was kind of crushing on her right now. And she wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Would she like to keep dating him? Sure. But she was in a weird place right now.

Gabe’s phone buzzed. He didn’t reach for it. “So I…” His phone buzzed again. “What I mean is…” Another buzz.

“Would you answer already?” she said. Part of her wondered if it was Claire. But Avery also wanted a minute to process what Gabe had just said.

He grabbed his phone, looked at the screen, sighed, then put it away. “Listen, I don’t know what Claire has told you about, uh, her and me. I thought it was something serious, but when I caught her with another guy, and she said that we were just a summer fling. I figured it was over, but without officially ending it. So I guess when she saw us last night… I don’t know. So I texted her last night to make it clear. I don’t want to be with her anymore.”

Avery was taken aback. How could Claire do that to him? Typical Claire. Still, the fact that Gabe said it was over didn’t mean Claire would listen. Avery knew her. Claire had a way of convincing guys to look her direction.

Images of Claire stroking Gabe’s back flashed in her mind. The idea of them together made her feel like hiding. This was all getting too complicated. With Marshall coming into town this weekend, she needed to make sure she was clear on where she stood with Gabe. Without actually asking.

“What do you want, Gabe?”

He watched a few cars drive by, then looked at her, his face dropping. “I … “ Gabe searched her face, like he was going to say something. Avery waited. Then he shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”

To be honest, Avery didn’t know either. Marshall had been her only relationship and look how that turned out. She was as bad at relationships as Gabe, apparently. Which meant they were definitely hopeless. Plus, he had mentioned he might be leaving Phoenix soon for an archeology thing. He had other priorities, and she wouldn’t stand in his way.

There was only one answer that made sense to her right now. She reached out and put her hand on his knee, her hand warm at their touch. “You’re a good guy, Gabe. I don’t want things to be weird, especially with subbing at the high school. What if we agree to be… friends?”

He nodded, then swallowed. “Yeah.” He shook his head and shrugged. “Okay. That’s probably best.” He ran his hand through his hair.

The confusion and anxiety of the situation melted somewhat. With the potential of romance out of the picture, they could be normal people, without worrying about where things were going. She felt much better already. At least, she could box up her feelings for him and put them away.

“So tell me, what are you really doing at the library? Please tell me you’re not stalking me.” She smiled mischievously as she stood.

Gabe’s mouth dropped and he looked playfully aghast. “Why would I come to the library to stalk you when I know where you live?” He stood and they walked back inside.

She laughed. A sense of joy she hadn’t felt since before the whole Claire incident returned. “So research? Really?” she asked.

“Um yeah. Legit. Promise.”

“Need any help?” The words fell out of her mouth before she thought what it might look like. Desperate? Flirty? No, they were friends. And friends helped each other.

Gabe ran his fingers through his floofy curls. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind some company. What are you doing here?”

They sat back down at the computer. “I came to pick up some paperwork,” she said, which she technically didn’t need to pick up yet, but she wasn’t about to tell Gabe she was at the library to sort her brain out about Marshall. “I’m starting my part-time job here tomorrow.” She smiled, feeling giddy saying it out loud.

His eyes lit up. “Wow! That’s great. Congrats, Avery.” Gabe seemed sincere, but there was something in his voice that seemed sad. Holding back. Like he knew they wouldn’t spend as much time together. “Oh, wait. Does that mean you won’t be subbing anymore?”

Avery elbowed him softly. “Miss me already? No, I definitely need both jobs. The library is flexible. So I’ll be subbing anytime I’m not here at the library. Speaking of, do you have anything lined up for this week?”

Gabe opened his phone. “Not yet. I like to live dangerously.”

She opened the Substitute App and showed him. “Got mine already. Subbing in history on Tuesday. Jealous, Dr. Jones?”

“What? Can I have that one?” He looked like he was eyeing a puppy for sale.

She shook her head. “No way. The only other thing available is math.”

“Oh hey, look at this.” He held his phone up. “A creative writing class opened up.”

“No way. Serious? Wanna trade? I’ll drop mine and you can pick it up, then I’ll grab creative writing.”

Gabe hesitated. “I dunno. I’m thinking about taking up writing/” His finger hovered over the “accept” button for the creative writing class.

She held up her hands together in prayer. Besides books, writing was her dream. She’d love the chance to see if she could help students develop their writing. “Please. Please, please!”

“Okay. On one condition.”

“What? Cookies? Lunch? Snacks?”

Gabe considered her suggestions, closing one eye and pressing his lips together. “Food would be a good trade. No, I had something bigger in mind.” He waggled his eyebrows.

As much as she wanted to kiss him again, it wasn’t a good idea. “Gaaaaaabe.”

He narrowed his eyebrows at her. “What? Ohhhh.” He blushed. “Uh, no, I mean, you could help me with my research.”

His awkwardness was adorable, but more than that, it made Avery feel comfortable. “What are you researching exactly?”

“A site in Egypt I’m hoping to go help an old professor uncover.”

She tilted her head. So he really was planning to leave. Her heart panged for a moment, but she stopped her emotions. The only option was to be happy for him. “I see. One step closer to Indiana Jones. Sounds cool. Sure, I’ll help.” She held out her hand and they shook on it. So, maybe he really was leaving. Good for him. She didn’t want to make him think they were more than friends, even though their kiss had told her she wanted so much more. Still, she would let him tell her about it rather than ask.

Avery unaccepted the history job on the app, then quickly took the creative writing job. Gabe did the same for his choice. “Woohoo! History here I come.”

“So, we didn’t have to trade,” Avery said. “I would have helped you either way.”

“But it’s more than that,” he said. “I need help with writing. And maybe a few other things related to this research.”

“Oh, I see.” Avery put her hands on her hips. “I’m your new assistant.”

“Exactly.” He smiled. “Deadline is this Friday, so we gotta get on this ASAP.”

She shrugged. “I’ve got time now. Tell me more about it. I love this kind of stuff, you know. I worked at a nonprofit for a while up in Flagstaff.”

“Oh, that’s great. Very cool.” Gabe clicked on the tab with his email on it. “My mentor in college was this really cool professor who has been trying to get funding for an archeological dig. He finally got some funds, but if I want to go with them, I need to get more.”

“You’re gonna go dig up… stuff?” Avery asked. “When? Where?”

“Artifacts in Egypt. I’d leave in like three weeks. Or less, depending. It’s a big reason why I sub. I needed something I could leave at a moment’s notice but be okay leaving behind for like five to six months.”

Avery nodded, tapping her foot on the floor. The puzzle pieces were starting to fit into place. Gabe was a fun guy, but went in too fast. He had told her that. She had experienced that with him. Seemed like they both overcommitted and got burned out. Maybe they weren’t so unalike.

“All the more reason for us to be friends, then,” she said. At first she thought she had only said it in her head, but Gabe offered a sad smile. “You can text me when you’re gone, but don’t expect me to miss you.” She patted him on the shoulder playfully.

He shook his head, laughing.

“Shhh! We’re in a library,” Avery added.

At least, she was trying to convince herself she wouldn’t miss him. She would miss him. But the more she proclaimed she wouldn’t, maybe she’d start to believe it. Things had been so serious with Marshall, and she didn’t want to be so serious with Gabe. She liked it when they kept things light and fun.

Gabe didn’t say anything, just clicked on an attachment. “So here’s the grant proposal I need to fill in. It’s pretty long. Ten pages?”

Avery scanned over what he had already filled out. “Gabe Talon Manwaring? Your middle name is Talon?”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Yes. My father was training for the Air Force and was flying a T-38 Talon, so here we are.” He scrolled down.

“That’s right. Air Force. You must have moved all over. Where else have you lived?”

“Everywhere. California, Canada, Germany, Japan, Texas. Luke Air Force base up the road is where my dad retired.”

Avery nodded, remembering jets flying over her house growing up. “So do your parents live around here, then?” She was genuinely curious. It must be exciting, seeing new places and people and experienced different cultures. She had lived in Phoenix her whole life, minus the short stint in Flagstaff at the college dorms, then living with Marshall.

“No. My parents are in Austria, I think. My mother always wanted to live the Austrian lifestyle, whatever that means. Climbing every mountain or something.” He winked.

Avery snickered, picturing Gabe climbing a mountain while yodeling. “I love The Sound of Music . Are you close with your parents?”

He shook his head. “No. Never have been. Which is going to make it awkward when I send them this proposal and ask them for the funding.”

“Oh, wow. Gutsy. Think they’ll go for it?”

They exchanged glances, Avery conflicted over what she wanted the outcome to be. She wanted what Gabe wanted. But her heart still clung to the possibility that they could somehow work out. “Hopefully,” Gabe said. “Only if this proposal is top notch. Which is where you come in.”

“You have that much trust in my abilities?” Avery’s face flushed.

“Absolutely.”

“But you’ve never read any of my writing. Except texts.”

Gabe sighed. “Based on how your brain works, I think you’re probably really good at whatever you say you’re good at. Plus you read a lot. And, well, I don’t know who else to ask.”

She wasn’t sure how to feel about his statement. On one hand, he had thought about how her brain works. This goofball was also thoughtful and smart. On the other hand, he was pretty desperate and wanted her help simply because he had no other options.

“Gee, I feel so special.” She elbowed him, and he started typing away on his computer.