Chapter 20
Ben, April 1
“Ben, the email icon is up. Want me to see who it’s from?” Kyle, my level-headed flat-mate, is using my laptop. I’m sitting next to him on the couch, practically asleep. I nod at him to go ahead without even opening my eyes. I’ve been sleeping a lot less since…
“Liz.”
…yeah, since Liz. My eyes snap open. “Did you say something?”
Kyle frowns at the screen. “It says Liz. Do you want me to read it?”
My pulse kicks. “Yes. No. I want to read it. Pass me the laptop.” I can hear the shake in my voice and hate it. I clear my throat, trying to disguise nerves. Kyle hands over the computer.
Benjamin,
I have taken over the RSVP list for the upcoming West High School 10-year reunion and my records indicate you have not yet responded. If you did respond to Candy, please accept my apologies for this intrusive email. If you have not yet responded, I’d love to hear if you are coming to the reunion festivities. Thank you, in advance, for your prompt response.
Elizabeth Banks
The words hit like a fist. Too stiff. Too polite. Liz never called me Benjamin unless she was furious. I reread “prompt response” three times, trying to find the old Liz between the lines, and failing.
This account is only two weeks old. I opened it to keep myself from emailing her. To keep temptation out of reach. That precaution clearly didn’t matter.
I click “Reply.” The empty box stares back.
“Kyle, can I ask your opinion?”
“Shoot.”
“Remember that exchange program in America I told you I did back in school?”
“Yeah.”
“Should I… use my miles and go to the reunion?”
Kyle tilts his head, studying me. “Reunion, huh. So this Liz is an old flame?”
“Just an old friend.” The words come out clipped, automatic.
Kyle smirks. “You don’t look like a guy who’s just talking about a friend.”
“I’m tired. Don’t start.”
“Alright, alright. But look, why the hell not? You’ve got the vacation time. Could be fun.”
“Why the hell not, indeed.” I force a laugh. My hands are already shaking as I type.
Liz,
I actually will be attending, thanks for reminding me to RSVP. Let Candy know I’ll see her there.
Ben
I hit send before I can talk myself out of it.
The whoosh of the sent email feels like a door slamming shut. My chest hollows out.
“Guess that’s settled then,” Kyle says lightly, already turning back to his show.
Settled. Right. Except my heart is racing, my palms are sweaty, and the next two months suddenly feel like a countdown.
Now to find plane tickets.