Chapter 26
Ben, May 22
I saw her leave the bar just as I was heading back toward it. I watched her walk to her car, get in, and then break down. It broke my heart to see Liz like that. She was sitting alone in her sad little Saturn in a dark parking lot, crying. I couldn’t leave her like that. It physically hurt; my stomach was churning.
Before I can stop myself my feet are moving toward the car. I keep repeating, “this is stupid,” but my feet keep moving. In the car, Liz drops her head into her hands and her shoulders bounce as she sobs. My heart feels like it will burst. You cannot turn off love and I suddenly feel so foolish for thinking I could. In my head I thought what I was doing was best for her all those months ago. But as I watch her cry, I realize that was just stupid. I need to protect her.
I reach the car and, afraid that she’ll lock the door if I give her the chance, I just open it. Liz looks at me with startled eyes. I see anger, confusion, and fear play across her face. Before she can hit me, yell at me, or drive off, I drop to my knees and pull her into an awkward hug.
For thirty agonizing seconds she doesn’t react. Then, miraculously, I feel her melt into my body. She cries harder. I can’t take away her pain — I think I might even be responsible for some of it — so I just hold her.
I never want to let go.