Chapter 73
Ben, June 14
How could one man make a decision like that? Okay, I get that I’m not exactly the bloke to lecture anyone on measured choices. Still, Matt is walking away from a future with this baby. It makes my blood run cold to think about it. “How long before he realizes his mistake?”
“What if he never realizes?” I actually don’t notice I asked the question aloud until Liz answers me. A tear tracks unchecked down her cheek. Luckily I hadn’t hung up while she took the call from Matt. It meant that when she finished, there was very little left for her to explain. I got the gist, but it’s hard to hate the guy when he’s doing the same cowardly thing I once tried to do.
The difference is brutal. I cut a woman loose I knew I loved because I thought it was best for her life. Matt is cutting loose an infant he’s never met. If I don’t stand up for that, I’d be a hypocrite.
“Babe, look at me.” She complies. “Remember when I tried to push you away because I thought it was best? I was miserable without you—completely miserable. We fixed that. I can say from experience he’ll face the reality of this sooner or later.”
“But he’s not you.”
“True. But when he realizes there is a child growing up without him… ” I trail off. My mind conjures all the worst scenarios: a bitter fight, legal papers, a menacing knock on our door years from now. Could he demand custody? Show up at our flat and try to drag Emma back to the States? The thought makes my fists clench.
“He called her an ‘it.’”
“What do you mean?”
“An it. He wouldn’t say ‘she’ or ‘Emma’. He said ‘it’ or ‘baby’.” The disgust in Liz’s voice is ugly and honest.
I hate him for that, and I hate that I am the one who has to stand up for him. But I can’t let it go if there’s a chance he’ll be back in our lives down the line. I push forward. “Maybe he was scared. Maybe he couldn’t process it at the moment. Maybe he forgot she’s a girl. People do stupid things when they’re scared.”
“I said ‘she’ at least twice during that same conversation, Ben. He knew.” She’s irritated, and rightly so.
“I don’t know, Liz. All I know is I cannot imagine walking away from a baby. I understand fear, but this is not fear. It’s abdication.” I want to promise her the moon; instead I promise myself something practical. “He’ll see it, I’ll bet on it. And if he doesn’t, we’ll handle it. Emma won’t be alone.”
She swallows and looks at me, that steady, searching look that makes me feel both helpless and ferocious. I don’t have a tele-porter (though seriously, someone should invent one), but I have something else: I’ve got time, money, and the willingness to go toe-to-toe if it ever comes to that. If Matt tries to come after her, I will be in the ring. I will not let him take her future from us without a fight.
“Promise?” she whispers.
“Promise,” I say. Not some wistful, reckless vow but a steady, teeth-gritted promise. Whatever comes, we’ll face it together. And if anyone ever invents a tele-porter, I’ll be first in line. Just in case.