45. Lex
“Got a minute?”
My head snaps up to find Declan standing in my office doorway in a dark green suit, crisp white shirt open at the collar. Holy shit, he looks good. Lips parting, I move to stand. He raises a hand to stop me as I grapple with the fact that he’s within reach for the first time in weeks.
“Please, sit. I’ll only be a minute.” He glances back as he steps in and closes the door. “Miles said he’d throw me out if I made you late for your next meeting, anyway.”
I stare up at him, brows drawn, then give myself a little shake. Focus. “Declan. This is a surprise.”
He grips the back of his neck. “Yeah. I’ve been…well, I had some shit to figure out. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA.”
Leaning back in my chair, I study him. “Did you figure it out?”
“Hm?”
“The shit. You figure it out yet, Declan?”
He straightens at the hard edge in my tone, broad shoulders squaring. “It took me longer than it should have, but yes. I did.”
Silence settles between us. My eyes dart to the slim black object in his hand, then back to his face. He glances down, then reaches out and places the picture frame on my desk, facing me.
My breath catches as I pull it closer, cradling the frame in my hands. It’s a photo from Paris, one he took from the back of our tandem bike. I was laughing as I looked over my shoulder at him, Linc and Shane in the background as they rode in front of us. We were all grinning, cheeks tinged pink from the cool breeze. My fingertips hover over the glass as I huff a soft laugh, emotion clogging my throat as memories rush to the surface. I didn’t know I could be so happy.
“I’ve caught myself getting my phone out to stare at that photo every day for the last three weeks,” Declan murmurs.
“I can see why.” I clear my throat, sniffing.
He moves around my desk to crouch next to me. I frown, setting the frame down to stand and take us both over to the couch, but he seizes my hands as I start to rise. Electricity crackles through me at the touch, my whole body stilling at the force of the reaction.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Lex.” He speaks earnestly, a small wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. “None of them hold a candle to how I fucked up on that plane.”
I tighten my grip on his fingers, exhaling softly. It feels as though I’ve been waiting a lifetime to hear his truth, and it only feels right to give him mine.
“It tore me in half to go to bed alone that night in Paris, you know. I had to psych myself up all morning to try and keep my composure.”
His eyes fall shut as he leans his forehead on our joined hands, his voice rough. “I came back to your room to find Shane escorting Linc out. The look on his face…”
My chest constricts as Linc’s look of hurt fills my mind’s eye. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him, or you. What we shared…Declan, it was so intense. I don’t think I’ve ever felt closer to another person, but with the three of you…” I swallow, my throat dry and eyes burning. “I was overwhelmed, and I fell back on my rules to protect myself.”
He raises his head, gaze darkening as he sees the tears welling. “When you acted like nothing had changed…Lex, I was devastated. And so confused.”
Oh god, this man. I’m desperate to soothe him, want nothing more than to ease the ache and hurt he finally lets me see.
“I’m so sorry, Declan.” I tighten my fingers again, silently begging him to believe me. “The last thing I ever want to do is hurt any of you.”
Blinking away his own emotion, Declan clears his throat. “Thank you, Lex. I know…I know giving you a photo doesn’t make up for the awful things I said, for the boundaries I crossed.”
“It doesn’t,” I agree, a hint of teasing in my tone to lighten the heavy mood.
A ghost of a smile flickers across his lips. “I hope you make me work for your forgiveness.”
Scoffing, I pray my voice doesn’t quaver. “Bold of you to assume forgiveness is on the table, Wilde.”
He sobers. “It is. I know, and I’m not here to ask you to forgive me.”
“No?”
“No. Not now. Not when I haven’t earned it.”
His words resonate in my chest, fragile hope blooming to life. “Why are you here, then?”
“To apologize.” He soothes his thumbs along my hands, a gentle caress. “I’m sorry for being an insufferable asshole on the flight back from Paris.”
Unable to resist, I arch a brow. “Just the flight?”
He huffs a laugh, jade eyes blazing. “I’ve been pretty awful for months now, haven’t I?”
“You have.”
He releases my hands and rises to his feet. Moving slowly, watching for any signs of denial, he reaches out to trace a finger down my cheek, his touch featherlight. My skin flames in his wake, the fine hairs on my nape rising.
“That forgiveness I mentioned?” he rasps, tone low and full of promise.
“Hm?”
“I’m going to earn it, boss. Whatever it takes.”
Breathing deeply to control the fine tremble in my limbs, I stare up into his dark gaze. “You think that’s what I want?”
Declan’s chuckle is rough, gravel in his throat, as he leans down and braces his hands on the arms of my chair, crowding me.
“I know it’s what you fucking deserve, love. I meant what I said in Paris. You deserve someone who shows up for you in the small moments, like Linc and Shane have for the last few months. It’s not much,” he nods toward the photo frame, “but something tells me flashy gifts won’t cut it when you could buy yourself a private island.”
A soft chuckle escapes before he leans forward and kisses my cheek, his lips lingering. The loss of his heat leaves me shivering when he withdraws, my pulse spiking as I fight to catch my breath. When I look up, Declan is back at my door.
“I hope the photo makes you smile, like it has for me.” He pauses, lips parting on a slow breath. “I’d never dream to claim I’m worthy of you, Lex, but I’d like to start being there for you in all the ways I haven’t.”
“Yes, please,” I murmur, chest tight.
Declan’s eyes flare before he dips his chin, tapping his fingers against the door. “I’ll see you soon.”
His words are a promise, carving themselves into the connection between us as he starts to leave.
“Thank you,” I call, making him stop and look back over his shoulder. “For the photo, Declan, it’s…I love it.”
He smiles, bright and full, his laugh lines appearing at the corners of his eyes to strike me dumb. By the time I gather my wits once more, he’s gone.
When I emerge for my run a day later, Linc’s Tesla is parked in a different place than usual, and it isn’t Linc leaning casually on the hood in a black tank and shorts. He has stubble on his jaw, his dark hair–typically swept back to perfection–flopping charmingly over one eyebrow.
“Uh, hi,” I greet, jogging down my front steps. “What are you doing here, Declan?”
“Linc had a…thing.”
My lips twitch. “Was the thing being a decent brother and not fighting when you asked to take his place?”
He squints and looks away, feigning nonchalance. “Maybe.”
“I see.” I eye him. “You a runner?”
His grimace is answer enough. Oh, I’m going to enjoy this.
“Tsk. Maybe Linc wasn’t being a decent brother.”
Declan’s brows rise as I start to stretch. “What does that mean?”
“Hope you can keep up,” I taunt, stepping into a lunge.
“Don’t worry, boss. I’ll be a gentleman and match your pace. Wouldn’t hurt to take it easy.” The edge of bravado in his voice is as entertaining as it is delicious.
“Of course, Wilde.” I roll my eyes. “Can’t leave me in the dust, can you?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he grins.
Something flashes in his eyes at my sharp smile, but I don’t stop to analyze it.
“Alright then, Declan. Let’s see you earn it.”
I take off down my driveway, Declan’s thundering footsteps hot behind me. Unwilling to give an inch to the cocky asshole, I set a brutal pace. When Linc had first joined me, I’d slowed down a bit until he got used to things, then ramped back up to my usual. For Declan, I step it up a notch.
Halfway through our route, Declan is breathing hard, face red and dripping with sweat. I slow, smirking as he stumbles back to a walk, hands on his hips.
“Fuck, Lex. Linc actually does this with you every day?” he gasps.
I shrug, jogging lightly on my toes. “Just about, yeah.”
He side-eyes me. “He never used to run.”
My heart swells as I grin. “I know. He’s a willing convert now, though. You planning to join him?”
“Fuck no,” he barks, shaking his head. “This was a onetime deal. Back to your regularly scheduled Linc tomorrow.”
“Aw, not having fun?”
He chuckles, smile sardonic. “I’m with you. That’s a plus.”
I snort. “Cute.”
“Hey, I could either give a good answer or an honest one.”
“What would you rather do, then, Wilde?”
His breathing has calmed somewhat, enough for him to pick back up into a light jog.
“You want to work out with me, Lex, come to the house. You know how to hit or kick a bag?”
Big, broody asshole likes to hit things. Shocker. “I love kickboxing, but I’ve never tried it outside of a class. The kind without props.”
He glares. “Learning to use the equipment is half the fun.”
“I see.”
Clearing his throat, he coughs. “I could teach you.”
“Think that’s a good idea, do you?”
His eyes burn blazing tracks across my skin as he takes in my sports bra and running shorts. “Yeah,” he grunts, “I think it has its merits.”
Caveman. I shouldn’t find him blatantly checking me out quite so charming. Or maybe it’s the return of the easy banter between us buoying my spirits for the first time in weeks.
“We’ll see. You still have to make it back alive today.”
He huffs. “I’m fine. Nothing to it. Could keep this up all day.”
Challenge accepted. “Great! Look lively, then–let’s go.”
I increase pace again as he curses, laughter bubbling through me. The smile feels plastered to my lips for the rest of the morning.
“You’re not Shane.”
Declan scoffs as he enters my office in slacks and a black button down, takeout bag in hand. “I certainly am not, though I’ll thank you for sounding surprised rather than disappointed.”
I chuckle at his easy smirk, rising to greet him. He pauses, setting the bag on the end table, and slips his arms around my waist as I go up on tiptoes to hug him. The cropped hem of my blouse rides up as I do, his hands slipping onto bare skin as he returns my embrace.
“I’m glad it’s you,” I murmur.
His arms tighten, and I can feel the hot press of him against my belly. I bite my lip, pleased at his ready reaction, and want to pout as he steps back. He reaches out and tugs my lip free, his eyes dark with desire.
“None of that, please. I’m under strict orders to feed you, then escort you to your car.”
“Really, now?” I hum, folding myself into one corner of the couch. “Since when do you follow Mr. Kelly’s orders outside the bedroom?”
“Since I started prioritizing the person his orders are intended to serve over my personal need for authority,” he answers easily.
“Ah,” I mumble, swallowing roughly. “I see.”
He hums as he pulls the containers from the bag and sets the coffee table. “I think you’re starting to.”
Why do I suddenly feel exposed? I clear my throat and smirk. “Did you steal Shane’s food along with his lunch plans?”
Declan glowers at me with playful eyes. “I offered to make it.”
I fight to hide a grin as I read between the lines. “He kicked you out of the kitchen, didn’t he?”
“He asked me to leave,” he grumbles, “and I went willingly.”
“Right,” I drawl, unable to hold back the giggle.
Declan growls and drops onto the couch next to me, reaching out to tickle my sides. Laughing, I bat him away and knock against him with my shoulder, reaching for what looks like a quinoa bowl topped with salmon.
“I see how it is,” he teases. “I’m just your food delivery service. Is this how it goes with Shane, too?”
I scoff, digging into the bowl. “Shane wouldn’t dream of distracting me from eating.”
“He’s a little intense, isn’t he?”
Glancing up, I find him watching me as though he’s trying to memorize every inch. My lips curve into a smile.
“You all are.”
“Even Linc?”
I raise a brow, cocking my head. “Seriously?”
“What? He’s a total goofball.”
“Not all the time,” I muse, smiling as his eyes narrow. “Did you come here to fish about Shane and Linc, or…?”
Declan sighs exaggeratedly. “No, I didn’t. Mostly, I wanted to see you.” He pauses, fidgeting briefly with the napkin under the bowl in his hand. “I missed you.”
My fucking heart.“Is it so hard to admit?”
His eyes meet mine. “No, I…I’m getting used to saying that shit out loud. It doesn’t come easy.”
“What, communication?”
Declan scoffs, setting his bowl down and leaning back against the couch. “Vulnerability. It’s foreign territory, but I’m…I’m trying to get comfortable with it.”
As I take another bite, I study him. He’s more relaxed in my presence than he’s ever been, even in Paris. After he brought me the photo and apologized, he started cropping up in the group text for the first time since well before the Summit, bantering with all of us. He even started texting me to check in or share little wins as he and the team work through the rush of interest after their grand debut.
Bit by bit, Declan is fitting himself into my life as seamlessly as Shane and Linc fit into his. Almost like a family. For the first time in my life, the thought of having one of my own doesn’t fill me with dread.
“I am and always will be a safe place for you, Declan,” I murmur. “Just like Shane and Linc.”
He looks up and holds my gaze. “I know.”
“Good.” Taking the remnants of our dinner to the waste bin, I turn. “Will you come over with them tomorrow night?”
Since they had both laid my rules to rest, Shane and Linc made a habit of stopping by a few times a week for a sleepover. We had spent little time at their house since Paris, letting Declan dictate his boundaries.
“Not this time,” he says gently, walking over and sliding a hand along my jaw to grip the side of my neck. “I have to pick up our tuxes for the Brightest in the Bay award ceremony on Friday.”
I frown and lean into his touch, hands resting on his chest. “You could come after, if you wanted to.”
“I do.” His fingers flex against my throat with intent, the command in the subtle move going straight to my clit. “More than you know.”
“Then you’ll be there?” I try not to plead as I toy with his buttons.
He leans his forehead against mine, breathing deep. “I want to do it right this time. Be patient with me for a little longer?”
My eyes fall shut. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Thank you.” He lifts his head, pressing a long kiss to my brow. “Come on, love. Let’s get you home.”
He says it so casually, but my heart flutters at the name. It’s the second time he’s used it, and my reaction is the same each time. I grab my purse, then lean into him when he wraps an arm around my waist, his fingers gripping me tight. Just a little longer, Wilde. I’ll hold you to it.