Chapter 12
After stopping off at the studio for a few hours for rehearsal, I met up with Violet and Kaylee for happy hour at my favorite bar, the Lemon Grove, atop the Aster Hotel. From the rooftop bar, the iconic Capitol Records building loomed in the distance.
Seeing them always made everything better. I was so thankful they’d let me into their circle. Kaylee was amazing and she’d been great for my brother. Violet’s wild and adventurous life left me full of envy for how easy it was for her to let her hair down and enjoy herself. I was hoping she’d rub off on me a little. I felt like I was always looking over my shoulder, always making sure whatever camera snapped near me got my good side.
I used to be carefree, I think. In the ‘before’-time. Before that night in Austin that still haunted me. Everything changed that night. Not just inside of me, but my outward life too.
I’d had plans to go to the University of Texas and try to get into med school, in defiance of my mother’s twisted, life-long plan for me to become some sort of permanent beauty queen.
But after that late summer night, with only a year left of high school to go before I was supposed to go away to college, I lost all of my motivation. All I wanted to do after that was get the hell out of Texas.
Everything seemed to remind me of Avett. I saw him everywhere I went. My friends were all talking about his murder. They glamorized him, imagining out loud his last few moments at the hands of some evil serial killer. It took all my strength not to scream the truth, to expose Avett as the rapist he’d intended to be. But I had no choice but to stay silent and be grateful for the cover the serial killer had provided for Theo and me.
I made it through my senior year by the skin of my teeth but those first few years of college were torture.
When West told me he could get me an audition in Hollywood after my sophomore year, I jumped at the chance to drop out of school and move to California.
A fresh start was just what I needed. I knew that without a doubt.
A new state. A new life. A new career.
A new identity, leaving all my troubles far behind.
I never expected I’d find as much success as I did. After I was cast in my first big role, I was singing to myself in my trailer one day, and the producer heard me. He insisted I sing a song on the film’s soundtrack.
My music career took off after that.
Five platinum albums later, and I was selling out arenas. I couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized, but losing my privacy was a tradeoff to having financial stability, and being able to do what I loved every day. It was a difficult and challenging life in a lot of ways, but I was grateful for it every single day, too.
The fact that I’d made it this far and now someone was trying to mess with me just infuriated me. I had too much to lose now.
“You sure you’re okay?” Violet asked, nudging me with her elbow as I stared up at the clouds.
“Uh, yeah,” I mumbled, sipping on my martini. “Just thinking about work.”
“You’re shooting Invincible, right? I’m so impressed you got the lead role in that film. I think every starlet in Hollywood auditioned. How’s it going?” Kaylee asked.
“We’re still in rehearsals. It’s going fine, a slow start.” I replied. “Making movies is much harder than making music. So much sitting around….” I trailed off as I contemplated telling them about the texts. I desperately wanted to discuss them with someone besides Theo, but I knew I couldn’t. Kaylee used to be a cop, for fuck’s sake. And I would never betray Theo that way.
“Maybe you can find a boyfriend on the set,” Violet said, winking at me.
“Ugh, please no,” I replied, wrinkling my nose. “That’s the last thing I need. I just want to concentrate on my career. Men are bad news. At least the ego-driven ones you’d find on a film set are. If you ever see me dating an actor, please slap some sense into me.”
“Hey now!” Kaylee protested, laughing. “West is an actor.”
“My brother is an exception, I suppose. But he definitely has a humongous fucking ego, don’t be fooled by that, Kaylee.”
“He’s treated me so well, despite that ego,” she replied, with an earnest laugh.
“I’m happy for you two, I really am. But I can do without the drama of all that. Just give me a film set, a few drinks, and a quiet, clean house.”
“I think the drama only happens when you aren’t supposed to be together,” Kaylee said. “When you find someone who’s peaceful and easy, it all comes together effortlessly, and the drama never arrives.”
“Well, I’d disagree with that. You and West definitely began with some serious drama,” Violet reminded her. “Surely, you didn’t forget the murders, and mayhem, and secret identities?”
“Okay, fair enough,” she said, shaking her head. “But now? It’s all joy.”
“I’m happy for you, too,” I said. “I’ve never seen West like this, so you must be doing something right. But I truly believe y’all are the exception to the rule.”
Theo’s face flashed in my head again. His eyes, his mouth, his hands…I shook my head, willing the visions away. West’s disapproval aside, it would never work out with me and Theo. We were too volatile. We couldn’t get along. It was anything but peaceful. There was too much tension, too much left unsaid over all these years.
“A healthy relationship may be rare, but it’s not impossible. I’d hate to see you give up hope at such a young age, Everleigh. You deserve happiness. You deserve love.”
“I might deserve it but I don’t have the energy for that. Not that, and tackling this new role, too.”
“Tell us about your character,” Violet said, perking up. Violet was an extremely successful supermodel, but she’d once confessed to me that she’d always wanted to try her hand at acting.
“She’s a doctor,” I said, hearing the wistful twinge of regret in my own voice. I pushed away my old dreams that wanted to rise to the surface “She finds a cure for cancer, but her boss steals her research and sabotages her entire career.”
“Oh, so it’s a film about modern misogyny?”
“Pretty much,” I laughed. “She gets her revenge though. I don’t want to spoil the ending for you.”
Violet and Kaylee laughed, nodding their heads.
“I hope it’s a bloody form of revenge,” Kaylee said, her eyes sparkling.
“You’ll have to wait and see,” I shrugged, waving down the waitress for another martini.
“I know it will be,” Violet said. “I love that everywhere you look these days, the bad bitches are being celebrated in the media.”
“Yeah, baby,” Everlee said, laughing. “It’s bad bitch season, after all.”
“To us, three bad bitches,” Violet said, holding up her drink. We clinked glasses and took a drink, toasting each other.
I wanted to feel like a bad bitch, I really did. I wanted to concentrate on my strengths, recognize the resilience that I possessed in order to be able to have come this far in life.
But all I could think about were those fucking texts, and my feelings for Theo.
As the waitress brought my next martini, I hoped like hell this next drink would be enough to take them both off my mind.