Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Josue
Luckily, since it was a little past Christmas and New Year's, the traffic had been light. Sierra reserved her real Christmas as Three Kings Day anyway, so there was an upside to not having to share the road with all the crazies. Nervous didn’t even begin to cut it.
I had no expectations, but I couldn’t lie and say I hoped this was more than a check-in trip.
Pulling into her apartment building’s parking lot, it was modest, but nothing to be ashamed of, given she had worked for it. I was probably out of my element here, but if I moved with no expectation, I couldn't get disappointed.
There was a staircase that led to the number on her door, almost set up like a motel, but nicer.
Stacking the boxes I’d spent an hour trying to wrap, I took a deep breath before giving the bell a ring.
The sound of footsteps on the other end matched the erratic beats of my heart, pounding like I was meeting her for the first time.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the woman on the other side.
“You made it,” Sierra stood, wearing an infectious smile and warmth that filled the whole street. She looked beautiful, even though she was just wearing something simple like a cropped hoodie and jeans.
“What did you think, that I was going to blow you off?” Instinctively, she reached out to hug me, but since the boxes were in the way, I opted to invite myself in to put them down.
For as annoyed as I used to be when it came to her hugs, I actually missed hers, relief washing over me when she caved into my space.
She smelled really nice. One of those girly smells I didn't know how to describe.
It just smelled…inviting. I was bummed she let me go.
“You look good. Healthy, and healed up. That's good.”
“I'm just so happy you came,” she beamed, like she didn’t think I’d actually come. It surprised me that she was so happy to see me.
“I got you something,” she said, disappearing into another room and coming back with two gifts.
“It's not much, but I remember you saying you didn't get anything growing up, so I didn't want you to feel like that this year.” What could I say?
I never took it personally that the holidays were some of your worst times as a foster kid.
Never getting presents just became the norm. But it was sweet to be thought of.
Handing me two wrapped gifts, she took out her phone to film my reaction. I rolled my eyes.
“Jesus, Medina, you’re really gonna fuckin’ record me?”
“I want to remember your face when you open it?” she whined.
“It's just another day to me, but whatever.” Since it was two gifts, I put one of them down to focus on the first. I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting what was inside.
“The fuck?” I laughed pulling out a plush trash can that was filled with Krumm…
umm.. I think the red one was Ickis. Who could forget the Gromble?
But it had my favorite from the show, Oblina.
She was always the best at scaring people.
No competition. I didn't know how I was going to use a plush trash can full of toys, but the gesture put a smile on my face. I couldn’t believe she actually remembered that. “You really fucking shouldn't have.”
“Well open the other one,” she demanded, almost impatient.
This one was a lot smaller, so I opened it with a bit more patience than the last. Inside was a square box holding a simple mug.
I took it out, breathing into words that read "World's Best Coach.
I smiled, but unsurprisingly, fighting the urge not to tear up.
“Thanks, Medina.” This time I initiated our next hug. “Now get that camera out my face.” She sheepishly apologized, tucking her phone in her back pocket.
“Don't forget, I got you something too,” I said, reminding her of all the boxes I had set down. Joining her on the floor, I withheld the second one meant for her daughter, as I watched her open the Lego set. “Home Alone?”
“Yeah, haven’t you ever seen Home Alone?
Best Christmas movie ever. Macaulay Culkin’s the only white boy I ever wanted to be growing up.
By the end of the weekend we’re watching it.
The people in your generation are on the phone too much.
Neglecting a whole bunch of classics—” She cut me off with a hug, and I was happy to put my arms around her again.
“I’ll gladly watch one of your classics if it means you’re staying the weekend. You can help me put it together.” If her plan wasn't to get me hooked, she was doing a horrible job at it. I already didn’t want to let her go.
“Thank you. You didn't have to,” she wiggled back to her spot on the floor.
“I wanted to. The other ones are for the kid. It's just stuffed animals. I admit I'm not the best at buying things for kids,” I conceded.
“It's okay. I'm sure she'll love them anyway. Mónica,” she yelled out, as her daughter came running into the room. She resembled her, just darker. Only she had little barretts and balls in her hair that reminded me of the 90s.
For not really having a lot of time around girls, I could admit she was adorable. Probably could use some toughening up, but her mother had some beast in her. Let’s hope it got passed down.
“Baby, this is Josue. He used to be my teacher, but now he's my friend.” She brought her on her lap, and Mónica scrunched her nose, regarding me.
“Está jinchito*,” she said, clueless that I understood her.
“Y qué si soy pá lido? Igual soy Cubano*,” I replied, watching her eyes widen as she retreated to her mother’s chest.
“Yeah, yeah, didn't think I knew all that, huh?” I teased.
“She speaks a lot of Spanish because of her grandmother,” Sierra bragged. “But obviously not as much as I like, or wish I could.”
“Well, I'm gonna speak English so I don't leave your mom out. Está bien*?” Mónica nodded, shy at first, but I moved at her pace.
“Look at what your mother got me,” I beamed trying to keep the connection, reaching in for the stuffed animals.
“Those look scary,” she said, covering her eyes.
"They're nothing to be afraid of. You like Elmo, right?” Enthusiastically she nodded.
“Well, Elmo's a monster, and he's not scary, right?” She nodded again, agreeing.
“Just because they're monsters, don't mean they don't get scared.”
“Baby, don't you remember liking Monsters Inc?” Sierra added.
“Here, look at what I got you,” I handed her a wrapped gift, debating on whether or not what I got was sexist. I figured I couldn’t go wrong just picking out every Black doll they had at the Disney store. The first gift was the mermaid stuff plush, her eyes eyeing it longingly.
"This looks like you, Mommy.”
“It does kind of look like me,” Sierra laughed.
“If mermaids were real, we'd probably look at them like monsters, and she's not scary, right?”
“No.” She pulled out the plush Shuri in her Black Panther get-up. I held it up to her.
“And for a while she was literally the Black Panther. Able to do things regular people couldn't do. She's not scary, right?” Taking a second, she finally agreed.
“What if I told you your mother used to be a monster?”
“Nooooo,” she dragged out, unable to believe it.
“Le decíamos la loba*. She was fast, strong claws. She even had fangs,” I teased, as she looked at her mother and to her surprise, Sierra didn’t dispute it.
“She would do all these amazing things. And we’d all howl at her.
Like you howl at the moon to prove that we saw her.
And I know you don't see your mother as scary, right?”
“Mmmumm” she shook her head.
“So now when you look at these, what about them are scary?” Bringing Ickis back to view, because admittedly, he was the least scary looking to me.
“I don't know. Because he's red.”
“Elmo’s red too. Right place and time, I get scared. Did you know this one—his name is Ickis, he gets scared too?”
“No,” she denied.
“He has to go to a school to learn how to scare people.”
“Josue, you're literally describing Monsters Inc to her.”
“Okay, but Ahhh Real Monsters had to fucking run so a movie like that could walk—”
“Josue, language. I don’t want Mónica picking up all that Jersey.”
“I'm sorry, but really it takes away the scary when you see they're just like you.”
“We could stream it if you want,” Sierra offered, setting up the show, popping popcorn and adding cayenne pepper to it to give it a kick. I had had so many memories of these episodes stored into my mind’s eye, that it was almost cathartic to watch it in safety.
Most of my trauma I just bottled up and stashed someplace I would never need to use it again, something I thought I'd never have to address, because I thought kids would never be in my future to need to.
But Sierra, even as a young mom, seeing her interact with her daughter made me realize I had just never interacted with a happy kid, especially this young.
I assumed they were all fucking miserable, like I was growing up.
Mónica seemed loved. Cared for. Happy. Shy, but to be expected around a stranger.
No relationship created was an instant bond, but I was interested in getting to know her, if Sierra let me.
But that would only happen if Sierra, like me, wanted more.
“Okay, baby, it's getting late. Mamá will read you a story, and then it's time for bed.”
“Okay.” She picked Mónica up, and the little cutie waved to me like she was already going to miss me.
“Good night, Josue.”
“Buena noches*, Mónica.” I waved patiently, waiting for Sierra to return. Sierra nearly skipped to the couch, taking things faster than I was prepared for, pouncing on me with ready lips.
“Wait, wait, wait. We're not going to talk first?” I smiled.
“Oh,” she collapsed to her side of the couch, embarrassed.
“I mean, not that I didn't miss you, but I ain't seen you in half a year. Thought we could catch up.”
“Okay?”
“You look…really good, and your kid's great. A little introverted, but I bet a year at a gym could open her up,” I suggested.