Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
ESME
So many questions .
My lunch hour should not have rocked my world to the core. I should have busied myself with my phone, but I was the idiot who had let myself listen in on the conversation Jake was having with his friend. If it hadn’t been for the dinosaurs sitting on the side of the table, I might have missed the two completely. A pink and a rainbow dinosaur at a table with two men and no kids, though, had a way of catching my attention.
They reminded me of the little line of dinosaurs on Jake’s desk. The man was so black and cream. Every pair of pants I’d ever seen him wear were either black or cream utility pants. Well, every pair but the pair of jeans he’d worn to the bar. His office didn’t have many personal items in it either, except for that line of dinosaurs stretching across the front of his desk.
I’d walked by his office earlier today and he’d been sitting at his desk with the stress ball dinosaur clutched in the fist that was resting against his face. It reminded me of the way he’d been holding the gray blanket as I’d left the hotel.
At first, I’d tried to ignore the men at the table and focus on my own meal. They hadn’t seen me and I wasn’t going to intrude on their lunch. Then bits and pieces of their conversation began filtering my way. Words and snippets here and there, each one leaving me more and more confused.
What was a little? And what was a littles night? Hell, what club were they talking about? For that matter, why did I care? Why had I been listening to their conversation? And maybe most importantly, why was I now thinking about going to PenAlety Box for dinner on Saturday?
The giant of a man Jake had been having lunch with had absolutely referred to Daddies. Given the context, I had to assume it wasn’t meant in the biological sense. While I wasn’t clueless enough to have never heard of Daddies and BDSM, after hearing what I had at lunch, I was beginning to realize I didn’t know enough.
After returning to my office, I wasn’t able to focus on anything work related. And it hadn’t helped when the two came up to Jake’s office after finishing their lunch. I watched them pass by from behind my computer screen, his friend taking up most of the hallway. They were in there for about two minutes before the friend noticed the dinosaur I’d left on Jake’s desk.
“Oh my goodness! It’s so cute! Where’d you get it?”
“It's the damnedest thing. It just showed up. But it's so soft and cute!”
There was a pause before Jake’s friend hummed. “It feels like Elle.”
Who is Elle?
“Yes!” Jake confirmed eagerly. “That’s exactly what I thought. It’s like having her at work with me.”
“But you have no idea where it came from?”
“I’ve asked everyone I can think of and no one has admitted to leaving it here.” I could almost imagine Jake’s shrug when he responded. I got a little perverse thrill knowing he was talking about my gift, especially when he added quietly, likely quietly enough he thought no one would overhear, “But I totally love it.”
I was questioning if I should tell him I’d given him the dinosaur when I heard the friend’s voice come closer to the door. “Okay, so I can tell Da—er, Canyon you’re coming to the club?”
The smile on Jake's face was clear when he responded. “Yeah. Count me in.”
“Awesome. We’ll plan dinner before.”
I waited a few seconds after I heard the elevator doors slide shut behind his friend before making my way to the door of my office and around the corner to Jake’s. He had his head down and his brow knit into a straight line of concentration.
A voice in the back of my head told me I should knock before speaking. Another louder voice overrode the kind one to point out I’d have better luck getting information from Jake if I surprised him.
“Heading to a club?”
Jake jumped so high he nearly fell out of his chair and clutched his hands to his chest. “Esme!” I couldn't decide if he was shocked at my appearance or the question. It was probably an equal mixture of both.
When he’d finally taken me in, he thought about what I’d said. “Club?” For a moment there was no recognition of his friend’s words as he’d left, and then confusion was replaced with wide-eyed shock. “C-club? I… we… n-no! I mean, not really. It’s just—“ He clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes, inhaling then slowly exhaling. “Jesus, Esme, how much did you overhear?”
I pointed to the dinosaur I’d given him. “Just enough to know you don’t know where that dinosaur came from.”
Jake actually slid down in his chair as he groaned in embarrassment. By the time he stopped, his head was barely visible above the top of his desk. “Fuck me.”
I lifted a shoulder, finally sensing the in I'd been trying for. “Already have.”
He looked up just enough to see over the desk, a painful blush on his face. “I didn't think we were talking about that.”
“I don’t remember agreeing to that.”
“Esme… I. I can’t. Not now. Not with you. Not with anyone at work. It’s just… too much.”
I was baffled at his response, though I knew well enough to not push it. “Well, if you ever change your mind, I’m not opposed to a repeat, and you're a damn good kisser.”
Jake pulled the ball cap he was wearing over his eyes and pointed to the door. “Go!” He didn't sound mad, just mortified, so I stepped back a few feet and stopped in the doorway.
“Before I go. Who is Elle?”
“My bla—None of your business. Especially when I don’t know who Chloe is!”
He’d given me enough information to be fairly confident Elle was the blanket he’d fallen asleep with in the hotel. And why did the knowledge make my chest tight with an unfamiliar emotion, a feeling frighteningly tender and protective? And something I hadn’t been prepared to feel at his admission.
The easiest way to get out of the situation was to escape. Just before turning the corner into my office, I called over my shoulder, “And Chloe is a capybara.”
I didn’t hear anything else from Jake, but back in my office, my head was definitely not focused on work. It wasn’t as if I’d been focused since I’d returned from lunch either, but it was even worse after my conversation with Jake, which hadn’t cleared up much of anything and had possibly left me more confused.
And for the second time that day, I was hard in my slacks.
As I sat at my desk, the conversation I’d heard between Jake and his friend played on repeat in my head and I needed to figure out what the two had been talking about if I was going to be able to get anything accomplished the rest of the day. Little wasn’t a narrow enough search term because the first three pages of results were meanings and definitions of the word.
An hour later I was no closer to an answer, and my brain was turning to mush as I tweaked the search terms, so I attempted to shelve the research until I got home. I did such a good job I managed to reply to some emails and schedule a few meetings. As I pressed send on the last email, I thought about adding adult to the search and clicked back over to my browser. The very first website to pop up told me I’d finally figured out a valid search term. From there, I was quickly introduced to a world I’d previously not known existed.
It was three on a Wednesday and I had already written the remainder of the day off as a waste. There was so much I didn’t know and wanted to learn. With a glance at my calendar, I let out a relieved sigh when I saw there were no meetings scheduled. I double-clicked on my work calendar, blocked myself out for the rest of the day, packed up my laptop bag, and headed home.
I had research to do.
From the comfort of my couch and the privacy of my personal laptop, I typed the search term again and proceeded to be shocked by what I was learning. At the same time, I struggled to imagine Jake and the other man in diapers or playing with toys.
Though he had a blanket… a blanket named Elle.
For over an hour, I clicked on link after link, only to discover the photos were obviously staged and the people in the pictures were petite, baby-faced, and despite clearly being adults, looked very young. Jake was none of those things. He had tattoos, a hairy chest, broad shoulders, thick thighs, and a perfectly soft stomach. His lunch companion was all those things amplified.
I tossed my laptop to the side in frustration and stood to grab a drink from the fridge, and I didn’t make it out of the kitchen before Ms. Donna knocked on the door to return Chloe to me for the evening,
Feeding my pets and myself wasn’t a distraction from my thoughts about what I’d found. I wanted to know what type of little Jake was and what I was missing in my search terms. I needed more information and patience wasn't my strong suit… however, stubbornness was.
With food in my belly and content pets beside me, I sat down on the couch with the resolve to figure this puzzle out. Or at least figure it out more than I had so far.
Nearly two hours later, after clicking on countless social media accounts of littles, I found one of a man who was both a little and a bodybuilder. From there, a much more realistic picture of littles and their caregivers began to take form. After a handful of accounts, I was finally able to see Jake as a little. Or at least more easily see him as one. A lot of things still didn’t make sense, and I continued to struggle with how he was so strong while also being not just submissive but little too.
Then again, I got the impression littles didn’t announce their interests to the world. It wasn’t like Jake would come to work in childish clothes or a diaper. On the other hand, there was the collection of dinosaurs on his desk, and I’d been tackled by him earlier today as he’d played hide and seek with the Parliament.
Did that all mean something?
Once again, another question without an answer.
Then there was the glaringly obvious fact I’d only heard parts of their conversation and wasn’t sure I had the entire story. I didn’t even know for sure Jake was a little. I was only assuming as much based on what I’d overheard during my lunch break.
I scratched my head, wondering what in the hell I’d missed of their conversation and if it would have given me more context. But no, I’d only heard bits and pieces, enough to pique my curiosity and then give me wild ideas, and I’d ended up with an afternoon spent staring at websites I wasn’t even positive were related to what Jake and his friend had been talking about.