Chapter 11
Winny
I already knew that my chemistry with Gillian was off the charts, but I didn’t entirely expect her to be so easy to talk to.
We lingered over our empty plates until the diner got busy with a dinner rush.
If not for the growing line of shifters waiting for a table, we might have talked most of the night away.
As it stands, I could listen to Gillian talk about her family and her new job at the preschool for hours.
She seems as close to Trudy as I am with my siblings, and that matters to me.
The short walk to her place is nice, I love the warmth of her fingers twined with mine and the soft glow of hundreds of twinkling light displays makes the crisp evening feel magical. “Okay, worst Solstice gift ever?
“So, the worst solstice gift I ever gave anyone was probably the year we made fudge in tenth grade science class. It was so good, even Mom liked it. And I thought I could make another batch to send to Trudy in her dorm. I was so proud of myself, I got a pretty tin and lined it with festive wax paper so it wouldn’t stick, then I made a big double batch of the fudge, poured it all in and sent it to her thinking it was the best gift ever.
” Gillian glances over at me, letting the moment of suspense build.
I squeeze her hand. “Oh no, what happened to it?”
“It was just rock hard. Trudy video chatted us to thank me when she got the parcel, but she couldn’t actually cut into it, she made a valiant effort to gnaw off a corner of it to taste though, and she thanked me anyway. When I went back over the recipe I realized I forgot to add the butter.”
“Did you get to send her a proper taste once you figured out the issue?”
Gillian grimaces. “No, Mom said it would be a waste to pay to send another package so close to the holidays, and it wouldn’t arrive in time for Solstice so there wasn’t any point. I did make another batch for Trudy when she visited for her spring break though. She loved it.”
That’s not the first off thing she’s said about her mom, the woman clearly brings down Gillian’s mood anytime she comes up in conversation. I can recognize an old wound, so I don’t press.
“Of course she did, I’m sure you made amazing fudge. And I’m glad you got to share it with Trudy.”
“I do, I’ll make you some for solstice if you remind me. What about you, what’s your worst Solstice gift?” Gillian jiggles our joined hands, like she’s excited to hear my reply.
“Hmm,” I made a show of considering my answer.
“I bet Bram would say the worst one I gave might be the pet crayfish I got for my niece last Solstice. Myra loves it, named the little critter Vanessa, but my brother and his mate aren’t fans of having to clean her tank.
And Vanessa sometimes escapes to menace everyone with her tiny adorable pincers. So Myra thinks she’s a great gift.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t count then.” Gillian says.
“Alright, I have a food one too then. Only I was the big sibling getting the janky food gift from a loving younger sibling. So, I can tell you with some authority that Trudy probably loved the heart behind the gift.”
“She says that, but I have my doubts,” Gillian shakes her head ruefully. “What did your dozens of little siblings make for you?”
“Not dozens, five. And this time was just Cory and Elric. It was the year I moved back in with our moms after my accident. They wanted to cheer me up with surprise Solstice pancakes since berry pancakes are my favorite breakfast. But Cory was a toddler and Elric was, like, eight, so it had bits of eggshell in the batter and they got the sugar and salt confused, and I think there was an accident with the baking powder too.”
“Oh no. What did you do?” Gillian asks, the hand I’m not holding going to her mouth as if to ward away the foul disks of misery masquerading as breakfast food.
“I ate one and then told them I was too full to take another bite.” I shrug.
Gillian giggles. “Oh, wow. That’s…huh. I mean, it sounds gag-worthy just talking about it, but I guess that’s exactly what I’d do if Trip and Willem tried to surprise me with food. Love is wild like that, huh?”
“It is.” I nod. Sky save me, the fact she’d eat disgusting pancakes for her niblings shouldn’t make me fall even more for her, but it does.
I cling to her hand as we approach a cul-de-sac with the larger homes on the other side of Maine Street from the highway and flock housing.
I'm more out of my depth with every step into the more affluent area of town.
I may have torn off more than I can carry here.
That unease at knowing I'm out of place only gets worse as we turn up the drive toward the fanciest house on the street.
Oh shit. Her house is huge. Why is her house huge? Right. Her sister's house. Her sister who has, like a dozen kids and a fancy degree. Feathers. That would explain the bikes and the playhouse by the side of the house. And the scooter on the front walk that I almost trip over.
"Watch your step," Gillian says as I drop her hand to dodge the obstacle at the last second.
I chuckle self-consciously and it comes out almost manic. What am I freaking out for? There's kid clutter all over the common areas at the flock building, I should feel right at home with this. I'm being ridiculous. But also, that scooter is bright pink, shiny and new. For a toddler.
At home, that type of thing is out in the common areas because the hatchlings share hand-me-downs.
Heck, some of the toys I trip over in the halls at home are probably the same ones that weren't new when Bram, Seb, and I were playing with them as kids.
I don't belong here, with people who can just.. ..leave a scooter in the grass to rust.
"Here, I'll put it away. Mom sent that to Marina for her birthday.
Because she knew it would come in packaging that let the kids see what it was before True could return it like most of the other stuff she tries to send the kids.
" Gillian sounds so exasperated that it pulls me out of my spiraling thoughts.
"Oh?" I say, hoping she’ll share more unprompted.
"Yeah.” Gillian sighs, then drops my hand to gesture vaguely at the outdoor toys.
“The girls aren't really old enough for this stuff anyway.
But Marina always wants to copy the boys, even though they're older.
" Gillian pauses, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before she says, "Things with our mother are complicated.
True sends stuff back because she made it clear she doesn't want our mother contacting me or the kids.
Heck, Trudy only started talking to her again because she had a health scare last year and even then, she only makes sure mom is getting to her appointments and stuff alright. Nothing about our life here."
"Oh." I don’t want to pry, but I’m dying to know what’s up with the family dynamics here.
"Ugh. This isn't how I wanted to bring that up." Gillian scrapes both hands back through her curls and tugs at them in frustration.
"I'm not asking you to tell me your life story on our first date, princess. We can save it for another time."
Gillian looks beyond tempted by the offer but then she shakes her head. "No, this is not the sort of conversation I can really hide from having if we're about to do what I hope we're about to do."
"Okay. Want to go inside and get comfy first at least?" I offer.
"Yeah." Gillian looks relieved at the reprieve. I know the feeling.
There's probably a few things we should discuss before we get back to everything our kiss at the diner promised.
I follow as Gillian wheels the scooter up the walkway to the garage.
She parks it with a bunch of other outside toys.
It jostles a ride-on lion that sings a jingle about sneezing that I recognize from Bram's house.
His kids would probably feel right at home with Gillian's niblings judging from how many of the toys are familiar. The zoo pays well and Bram and Ty both work there so they can afford to spoil their kids like that. If Bram can fit in with these folks then I guess I can too. Maybe.
One thing is abundantly clear to me already, when Bram meets Trudy they're either going to bond over all their adorable little crotch-spawns or Bram will get it in his head that he has to be the largest per capita producer of niblings in the family at all costs.
I grimace. And now I'm thinking about our siblings' sex lives.
Ew. Do not want. I wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs as Gillian swings the door open and grins over her shoulder at me.
"Home sweet home. Come on, we've got the place to ourselves until at least nine, True and her family always stay out late when they have dinner with the in-laws after work."
"Aren't you her family too?" I ask. Silly question, of course she is, just there's a difference between growing up in the same nest and being a nest family.
Gillian pulls up short, shoulders tense, back ramrod straight as she hugs herself tight. "Yeah, I just meant her mate and kids, you know?"
"I know." I pat her shoulder and Gillian flashes me a tremulous grin. I toe my shoes off in the hallway, leaving them neatly next to hers. "Sorry, I didn't mean to poke a bruise. Just kinda seems like you deserve a reminder that you aren't the hired help, yeah?"
Gillian sighs as she leads me down a hallway lined in family photos.
She’s in a lot of them, along with smiling cherub-faced baby photos of the kids I met at the pool yesterday.
"It's not like that most of the time. I mean.
I am the kids' nanny. Or at least, I was for most of the time they've been alive and I wasn't exactly a kid when I moved in with her, but Trudy and Lincoln have been more like guardians to me than siblings ever since Mom told me to have a nice life after my high school graduation.
I guess it sometimes makes for blurry lines about what we are to each other? "