Birdie #2
“I don’t know. It seems like it was just her and Juniper, so maybe she felt scared. Maybe she didn’t want anyone trying to take her daughter away from her.”
He nodded, his face dropping to the baby’s. “Maybe.”
“We can’t focus on what we don’t know or don’t understand. Juniper needs us all to rally together right now. We will, and not just me—your whole family will be here for you both.”
“Shit,” he winced, “I need to tell them. Mom and Dad are going to freak out.”
“You’re thirty-six.” I chuckled. “I’m sure your parents will handle this just fine.
And if they don’t, well, isn’t that just the karma coming back to kiss ya for how you reacted to Jessie and Violet’s announcements?
” I pushed my hand against his hip playfully, hoping he’d get the hint to move so that I could go to the bathroom.
My mouth felt dryer than the fields in August, and I desperately didn’t want to breathe my morning breath all over him and the baby.
“Sorry,” he muttered as he stood up, swaying back and forth to keep Juniper asleep. “And you’re probably right. But just so we’re clear, you’re the only one who can call me on my shit like that. If one of my brothers tries to—”
“You’ll listen to what they have to say, and you’ll apologize again if you have to.
It’s nothing you can’t get over. For your daughter’s sake.
” Mentioning Juniper had him swallowing hard.
“Give me five minutes to wake up. I’ll make breakfast and we can come up with a plan to tell your family, and to get you set up here with everything she needs. Okay?”
“Okay. I need to call Denver and let him know he’s in charge of things today. Fuck—uh, fudge—they’re gonna have a long day riding down the fence lines.”
“I’m sure they’ll be fine with it. Tell him about Juniper. You know Kip and him will chatter up a storm about it all day long to each other.”
“Oh, so I get to be the source of their gossip for once?”
I laughed. “I highly doubt this is the first time they’ll be all up in your business. But you’re going to need to lean on them more, and it’s okay to tell them why. Let them have their fun; those guys have good hearts.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” His hand rested on my shoulder, and he shocked the hell out of me as he stilled, leaning in to press a kiss into my hair. “Thank you.”
“That’s what best friends are for,” I whispered, begging the butterflies in my stomach to quiet down.
By the time I’d brushed my teeth and checked on my side—which was now sporting a large, dark purple and blue bruise—Beau and Juniper had made their way downstairs.
Ten minutes later and after some light running around, the kitchen was filled with the smell of fresh brewed coffee and crisp, hot bacon.
Beau was running on empty, that was easy to see.
He needed a good breakfast to get him through this morning.
Beau sighed as he set his phone down on the table. “My family is in full panic mode, but everyone is gonna meet us over at Lach’s.”
“Perfect. Here,” I said as I set a cup of coffee and his plate full of breakfast down in front of him. Juniper was, of course, still in his arms. “Let me take her for a bit while you eat.”
His eyes dropped to the baby for a second before he lifted her toward me. I scooped her up, nuzzling her close to my heart. She should be waking up soon for her morning wake window. Of course, we didn’t completely know what schedule she was used to, so that was only a guess on my part.
“When was the last time she ate?” I asked.
“Five-thirty. I made her a bottle and she drank the whole thing down and fell back asleep. Was that okay? Should she be awake now?” The panic in his voice melted my heart.
“She’s fine. I expect she’ll wake up in a little bit, and then we will probably be graced with getting to see the full spectrum of her personality.”
“She needs a swing. A real fuck—ducking—place to sleep. Clothes. Toys. Jesus Christ, I’m not ready for all this. What was I thinking?”
My free hand reached out and covered his arm. “You met her last night, Beau. Aside from making sure she has diapers and enough formula, we really have everything here to keep her happy and safe until we can get things sorted. You kept her safe and warm all night long. You’ve done a great job.”
He blew out the breath he was holding, his hands running over the stubble on his chin. “I don’t like being unprepared.”
“I know, but you’ve got me. Two brains are better than one, and we’ve got this.”
Beau looked at me, his eyes going wide. “You’re staying, aren’t you?”
“Of course. I don’t have another shift until Tuesday. That gives us three days to get the two of you settled. And even then, my house isn’t that far away.”
His hand worked over his jaw. The man needed a shave, and I knew he’d do it the first chance he got, much to my heart's dismay. There was something about Beau Ford with a few days’ worth of stubble that was just—
“No, Birdie. Can you…would you stay out here? With us? From now on?”
From now on? My stomach tightened. He was only asking that because he was feeling overwhelmed with having Juniper here. I tried to tell my heart to slow down, but it was galloping wildly, filled with hope. “You want me to move in?”
His eyes closed as he sighed before looking back up at me.
“No…I mean. What the hell. Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I want.
I’ve been racking my brain all night trying to think about how I’m going to make this work, and I can’t take her with me out on the ranch every day.
I fuck—ducking hell—I have a seven day a week, fifteen hour a day job. There’s not…I’m not…”
I’d rarely ever seen Beau panic before. I was pretty level-headed, but out of the two of us, I was definitely the more anxious one. He was the rock.
“You want me out here to help take care of your daughter?” I’d meant it to come out sweet and filled with the support I knew he’d give to me in the same situation, but as soon as the words left my lips, I heard the acrid tint to them.
And if Beau’s reaction was anything to go by, he’d heard the same thing.
“I…I didn’t mean you’d have to take care of her. I…I just want you here. I can hire a nanny, right? You’d just be here in case…in case…”
“In case?” I asked, trying to figure what he was stuttering over.
“I’m fucking this all up.” Beau’s hand released his fork before coming up to scrub over his face again. “Fuck, Birdie. I don’t…It’s selfish, I know. But there’s no one else I trust.”
I shook my head. “My work, Beau…I can’t just stop being a midwife. There’s clinic days and my hospital rotation.” Juniper wiggled in my arms, her precious little lips parting into a yawn. “Hi, Juniper berry,” I cooed. “Looks like she’s going to wake up.”
Her eyelashes fluttered and then her eyes popped open, landing right on me.
In that moment, I was a goner. Done for.
My heart shattered and stitched together all in one single blink.
And the anger that had been simmering at the back of my mind, the hate I had in my heart for not just being honest with Beau about my feelings, released.
Juniper was here, there was no changing that. And I didn’t want to, anyway. The best thing I could do, the best gift I could give myself now, was to support her and Beau the best that I could.
“Of course, I’ll stay. We can balance the load until you get comfortable with fatherhood. I can help you look for a nanny, although I have no doubt your family will squash that idea immediately once they meet her.”
His hand reached out, and I slipped mine into his hold. “You are a lifesaver. I know thank you isn’t enough—”
“Stop. I don’t need any thanks. Snuggling with this girl and getting to be with her…” and you… “on my days off is more than enough.”
He stood, placing his hand on Juniper’s belly before shocking the hell out of me—again—with a kiss on my cheek.
I wasn’t about to complain; I’d always loved the softer moments of our friendship like that, but damn.
The contact burned, a scorched trail of emotion and excitement searing across my body.
His forehead rested against mine, and for a moment, I thought he might actually kiss me.
Like time-standing-still, ground-spinning, full and passionate kiss.
But Beau sighed and moved back, kick-starting my own breathing.
“I’m going to make her a bottle. I hate to ask more from you, but I wrote a list of things I think she’ll need. Can you—”
“I’ll happily look it over after she eats.
Just promise me you’re going to take a second to breathe, because as wild and unexpected as this is, I have no doubt that you’re going to be the best father to Juniper.
And I’ll be here to help, okay? I’m not going anywhere.
And even once you are both settled, and I do leave, I’ll always just be a phone call away. ”