Birdie
He kissed me.
Four days ago, in the middle of his daughter’s nursery, Beau had pulled me in and…ugh.
I’d kissed him.
My heart was still hammering in my chest all this time later.
The last few days had been torture. Awkward glances.
Keeping our conversations to Juniper and the work Beau was doing on the ranch.
Don’t even get me started on how hard it was to sleep next to him while trying to not be weird and wishing I’d just be brave enough to apologize for jumping all over him like that… or brave enough to kiss him again.
“Alright, berry girl, what do you say? Should we go get your breakfast ready? Yes?” Juniper looked up at me with wide eyes, a bright, gummy smile on her face.
This age was so precious, and she’d been in such a fun, playful mood the last few days.
We were getting lots of squeaks and squeals, and my heart was overflowing watching this sweet girl show us all the sides of her personality.
I walked downstairs with her held tightly against my chest. Beau and I both learned very quickly that she was a wiggle worm in the morning.
And after her breakfast, she absolutely would not want to be put down.
No. She wanted to be held, so she could see the world around her.
That’s why I knew we needed a solid plan in place for today.
One where I could get her into her little carrier and have her held against me while we went and adventured out and about.
I obviously didn’t know Juniper’s mother, but there was a place in my heart that ached for her.
That she wasn’t here to experience these moments with her daughter.
And I hated myself because I was still so angry with her for taking away the first part of Juniper’s life from Beau.
He would have stepped up. I saw the way he looked at his daughter from the minute he first held her. Family was everything to Beau.
My head shook as I walked into the kitchen. “Alright. I can’t think about that anymore. Talk about little rain cloud energy,” I cooed to the baby. “We’ll have none of that on our girl-day!”
I’d been plotting it all through my three-day stretch of shifts.
Well, when I had a few minutes to scarf down my lunch or on the drive home, that is.
This month was turning out to be a very busy season for babies to be born!
I swear, we were about to rival our September numbers, which had always been the highest for births.
I opened the front door, and a blast of fresh air started drifting past me into the house.
It really felt like it was about to be the most beautiful day.
Juniper was more than happy to go down in the play pen, although I laid her on her back.
That was apparently a new no-no, because she rolled onto her belly and began smiling at her reflection in the little baby mirror attached to one of her toys.
“I’m going to see if my sister can come out today. Wouldn’t it be fun to meet her?” Juniper paid me no attention as I scooped my phone out of my back pocket, walking toward the back of the house.
Hey! Juniper and I are having a girl’s day at the ranch. Do you want to come meet her?
I set my phone down on the counter and rushed around the kitchen, grabbing a slice of bread and throwing it in the toaster for me, then working on Juniper’s bottle.
By the time I was settled on the sofa, Juniper in my hands while she scarfed down her breakfast, I was a little annoyed at the lack of response from Lainey.
Heavy boots climbed up the front steps, and for a second I thought Beau might have decided to call it a day and come home.
The rational part of my mind knew that was dumb, though.
They had a big day of walking down fencing in the south pasture to see what repairs needed to be made before they moved the herd. But the irrational part of me hoped…
“Knock, knock.” Hayes smiled at me through the screen door.
“You can come in.” I laughed until he stepped inside and I could see the tiredness written on his face. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He ran his hand over his jaw. “We had two call outs last night. Backyard fire that got a bit out of hand. And another warehouse caught fire out in Lark Lake. I just wanted to come get some snuggles with my niece. I tried Beckett, but he hit me with one of his dinosaur toys and yelled Oh shit! really loud before running away from Jessie.”
“And Connor?” I tried to hold in my laughter.
“I’m headed there next.”
Well, it was no use holding back. I laughed, loving the way Hayes’s face lit up. “You’re a good uncle.”
“So they say.” His hand reached out and gently stroked Juniper’s hair. “I won’t take her from you. I can tell she’s right where she wants to be.”
“Come sit next to me. I can probably transfer her over to you when it’s time to burp her, and then you can take over with the rest of her bottle.”
He nodded. Silence filled the house again, except for the tiny, precious slurping sounds of a very satisfied little lady.
“No one got hurt, did they?” I asked, pulling the bottle from between the baby’s lips. It popped free, and she started fussing almost immediately. “I know, gumdrop. Go see Uncle HayHay and give him some snuggles.”
“Hey, beautiful girl.” Hayes got Juniper situated before I handed him her bottle. “And no. No one was hurt. The backyard fire was just a bunch of kids who let their bonfire go, you know?”
“And the warehouse?”
“Same weird circumstances as the one last fall. And there was this abandoned house that we got called to a few months ago. We can’t find a pattern, but it’s clear that someone is starting these fires.”
“That’s why you’re so tense?”
“Yeah. These things escalate. Firebugs aren’t known for their satisfaction with small fires.
We’re looking at someone who has probably already escalated things two or three times if they are setting such large structures on fire.
It’s not good. The last thing we need is someone setting off a wild fire as we’re heading into the dry season.
I have no desire to be out fighting that, or to have a firestorm run through Clarence County. ”
“I hope whoever it is, you catch them soon. I don’t like the idea of you being in danger.”
Hayes laughed.
“What?” I asked.
“That maternal gene really kicked in for you, didn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure. Like you haven’t always teased me about only being a firefighter to get some—”
“Do not finish that sentence while holding your baby niece,” I scolded, albeit playfully.
“Fine. But you have to admit, you’ve never been on me about staying safe.”
“Maybe not out loud—because you’re insufferable and I know Dolly keeps you in line with her concern—but I’m just feeling very protective of Beau and his family right now. And that includes you.”
“That was a weird way to say it.”
“Say what?” I asked.
“To say you’re worried about our family.”
“Our family?” I had no idea why he was saying it like that.
“Yeah, you know? Ma and Pops, Colt, Vi, you, Beau, me, Lach, Hawk, Jessie, the kids? Our family? You think you’re not a part of that?”
Oh. “I just—”
“Nah. I don’t want to hear it. I’m fuck—fudging—pissed—oh for Christ’s sake. She’s four months old and asleep, so I’m just gonna let it fly! I’m pissed you don’t think you’re family. What the hell would my brother have to say if he heard you talking like that?”
“I do think of you guys as my family. But I’m not technically a Ford.”
Hayes shook his head, leaning back against the sofa.
“Birdie, I know my brother is a dumbass, but you’ve been a Ford since the first time you stepped foot on this ranch.
This is your home. We are your family. Even if my brother never figures out how to tell you that he loves you.
Even if you run off and marry someone else.
It’s too late for you. You are a fixture here, and not a single one of us will hear otherwise about it. Okay?”
I had to be dreaming. I was, right? I’d fallen asleep on the couch while feeding Juniper, and Hayes hadn’t actually shown up and just told me his brother loves me?!
“Ow!” I yipped as Hayes pulled his hand back to his side of the couch after pinching me. “What the hell was that for?”
“To show you that you weren’t dreaming. I said what I said, and I meant it. You and Beau are both so goddamn stubborn about this weird line you’ve drawn in your relationship. Get over it and realize what all of us already see.”
“Which is?”
“That you’re meant for each other. Jesus, Birdie. He had a kid with another woman, and that kid was just dropped on his doorstep. And the only person he thought to ask for help from was you. Because you’re his person. And you stayed. You’re helping. Because…”
“Because he’s my person?” I whispered.
“Bingo.” Hayes lifted his head up, smiling as he twisted his body towards mine. He stood, looking down at Juniper. “Now that I’ve set you straight, and gotten my niece to sleep, I think I’ll just put her in her bed and head off to see what trouble I can stir up for Colt and Vi.”
“She’s in the room across the hall from Beau’s.”
“Got it. Across the hall from the room you sleep in with my brother.”
I shook my head. “Wait until I tell him about this conversation.”
“Jesus, I hope it kicks him right in the ass. I’m sick of watching you two make googly eyes at each other during every family dinner, and then literally do nothing about the sexual tension that’s choking all of us.
Please, for my sake, tell my brother exactly what I said, and ask him to either take your hand and step over the line, or let you go.
Just remember, either way, you’re still a part of this family.
We’ll get rid of him before we ever get rid of you. ”