Chapter 15
MERRY
Merry slouched through the toy department, too tired to even glance at Santa. She was late again, but this time it had nothing to do with traffic and everything to do with a tall, dark stranger.
“Honestly, if you never see him again, it was still worth it,” her roommate had declared over cornflakes that morning. “You look like you’ve been hit by a truck, in a good way. And that was the hottest sex I’ve ever heard.”
Merry had blushed, bleary-eyed and sore in places that made walking feel oddly theatrical. But as she pulled on her boots in the hallway, trying not to wince, the ache in her body was nothing compared to the one sitting squarely in her chest. Christian was leaving New York. He’d told her that much.
She’d hoped — stupidly, maybe — that he’d change his mind.
Or at least say something in daylight that made sense of the way he’d looked at her in the dark.
But when she woke up alone, with only a half-drunk glass of water by the bed, she wasn’t sure if she’d been something he wanted or just something he needed.
Maybe she wasn’t supposed to know the difference. Maybe it didn’t matter.
As she reached the staff area door, it started to open.
Two girls that Merry half knew from the store floor walked out, and when they saw her they burst into giggles.
Merry frowned, watching them go and feeling suddenly worried.
Had she forgotten to put on trousers? Did she have I-had-hot-sex-last-night written on her face?
She patted herself down as she walked into the corridor, but everything seemed to be where it was supposed to be.
Another girl walked past, her cheeks reddening and her mouth curling into a smile as she peeked at Merry. Then a guy passed her, and he too was smirking like she was the butt of some joke.
“What?” Merry said to his back, but her words were too quiet for him to hear.
It felt like one of those nightmares where everybody stares at you and you end up naked. Ahead, the locker room door opened and Alice skipped out, doing her hair as she went. Her eyes widened when she saw Merry, and she pulled the hairpin from between her lips.
“Yes, Merry!” she said, pinning her hair back. “You’re here.”
“What’s going on?” Merry asked. “I feel like I’ve got, like, a teapot growing out of my head or something.”
“Better than that,” said Alice, taking Merry’s arm and leading her into the locker room. “We’ve all been trying to guess. Who is it?”
Who is what? she wanted to ask, but she’d suddenly forgotten how to speak.
The large locker room looked exactly the way it had yesterday: lockers down each side for the staff to put their belongings, benches lined up down the middle, a door that led to the restrooms and showers.
The only thing that was different was a bouquet of white, pink and red roses sitting on one of the benches. She could smell them from here.
“What are they? Who are they for?”
“Don’t play the innocent,” Alice said. “They’re for you!”
Merry frowned. That was impossible. In her whole life, she had only ever been given flowers once when she was a teenager and her cat had died. Her granny had picked her a bunch of poppies to help her feel better.
“Go on! I can’t wait any longer!” She gave Merry a gentle nudge and Merry walked reluctantly to the bench.
The flowers really were beautiful, full and proud and shiny.
They must have cost a fortune. Nestled among the leaves was a little envelope, her name written on the front in beautiful calligraphy.
Merry looked at Alice and Alice urged her on.
“If you don’t,” her friend said. “I will.”
“Oh, fine,” Merry said. She plucked the envelope free and opened it, slipping out the little card inside. On the front was a single candy cane, striped red and white. All that was written inside was:
Thanks for last night.
Her cheeks flushed hot and she slid the card back into the envelope with shaking hands, tucking it into her coat pocket like contraband.
“Well, who ?” squealed Alice, snatching the card. “There’s no name! What the hell does ‘thanks for last night’ mean?”
It didn’t need a name. She knew exactly who had sent them — she could still feel the after-effects of being a good girl this morning.
“I swear, I am going to explode if you don’t tell me!” Alice said.
“Then you’ll have to explode,” Merry said. “Because it’s nobody, it’s nothing. It’s . . .”
Christian was leaving soon for the other side of the world. What did he want from her? A few weeks of hot chocolates and hotter sex and then a sad goodbye? It didn’t seem fair that he was playing with her heart like this.
“It’s a joke,” she said, the smile falling from her face. “A stupid joke. You can have the flowers. I don’t want them.”
“I think it’s the boss,” said Trudy from the bench where she was getting changed. “Lewis Carroll himself. I think that’s why you can’t say anything.”
“Ew!” Merry said, and Alice’s laughter was so loud it echoed off the wall.
“That’s it!” she said. “That has to be it!”
“No!” said Merry. “That’s just wrong. He’s like a hundred years old.”
“So who, then?” Alice said. “Who would send you a bouquet of flowers like that? From Florisan’s, too — they’re expensive.”
“Come on,” said Jasmin. “I mean, you’re obviously going to bring him to the Christmas Ball, so you have to tell us who he is before then.”
Merry took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m not going to tell you who,” she said. “But I’ll say what .”
The three women fell silent with anticipation, and Merry cast a quick look over her shoulder to make sure they were alone.
“So, the other day I was just standing at the door, greeting people, and this guy walks in. He’s . . . I mean, he’s amazing. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
Merry was blushing so hard she could toast marshmallows on her cheeks. Her three friends listened on, wide-eyed.
“I felt something for him. It’s like . . . Okay, this is going to sound really corny, but bear with me. It’s like, you know how when you’re a kid you make a Christmas wish, and Santa brings it to you. Every single wish is different, and he brings you exactly what you ask for.”
“Uh, Merry,” said Jasmin in a fake whisper. “I have news. Santa isn’t real.”
“No, I know,” said Merry. “But when you’re a kid you think it’s magic.
It’s just your parents, they pick your presents, but in your heart, when you’re young, you know it’s something else, something incredible.
That’s how it feels now, with him. I feel like he’s a perfect present for me and me alone. He’s my Christmas wish come true.”
“Wow,” said Alice. “So you’re dating?”
“That’s just it,” said Merry. “We’re not dating. We’re not anything . We can’t be together.”
“Why?” said Trudy. “He sends you flowers, he makes you blush, he’s the perfect man.”
“But he’s going away,” said Merry. “He’s leaving in a few weeks. He lives in Asia.”
“Oh,” said Alice, with a genuine expression of sympathy. “That sucks.”
Merry shrugged sadly. “It does. I don’t even know how I feel about it.”
“That’s easy,” said Alice. “How did you feel when you saw the flowers?”
“Sick,” said Merry. “Sick, and shaky, and like my head was about to explode, and happy, but sad, and sick. Did I say I felt sick?”
All three girls laughed.
“Whoa, boy,” said Jasmin.
“Hey, ladies!”
Everybody turned to see Diane walking across the room, peeling out of her damp coat.
“You would not believe the day I had yesterday,” Diane said, and Merry was infinitely grateful to the woman for taking the attention away from her.
“Walker surprised me — he drove me up to Bear Mountain in his Porsche. He brought this picnic with him, and we had it by the river. It was so romantic, and he gave me this.”
She flashed the necklace she was wearing and the three women opposite Merry squealed again. It was a beautiful piece of jewellery — woven strands of gold and silver with a teardrop-shaped pendant. The diamond in the middle of it looked the size of Merry’s pinky nail.
“Oh, wow,” said Jasmin. “That must have cost thousands.”
Diane held up both hands, all her slender fingers extended.
“Ten. He told me. That’s the advantage of having a boyfriend who works on Wall Street.
” Diane turned to Merry, and the smile on her face was strangely cold.
“Speaking of which,” she said. “Who do those flowers belong to and where are they from?”
“Merry, and she won’t tell,” said Alice, pouting. “The spoilsport.”
“Oh, won’t she?” Diane’s eyes glinted like sharpened steel. “Well, I know who it is.”
“What?” said Merry. “How?”
“Because my cousin works in a café off Fifth Avenue,” Diane said. “And she saw you there two nights ago. She wouldn’t have said anything, except she said you were with the most gorgeous man she had ever set eyes on.”
Merry’s cheeks were practically on fire.
“She said that nobody could take their eyes off him all night. She even took a photo, because she didn’t think I’d believe her.”
“Show us!” said Jasmin.
“I don’t need to,” said Diane. “Because he works here.”
“I knew it!” said Trudy. “It’s Lewis Carroll!”
“Ew,” said Diane. “No, not him. It’s—”
“Please,” said Merry. “I don’t want it to—”
“It’s one of the janitors,” said Diane, with a little laugh that made Merry’s blood run cold.
“A janitor ?” said Alice, frowning. “What?”
“Surely not,” said Jasmin, her face wrinkling. “That’s just weird.”
Merry squirmed in her chair. She felt horribly uncomfortable and she wasn’t even sure why.
So what if Christian was a janitor? It’s a good job, a much-needed job.
She didn’t care at all what he did for a living — in fact, she admired a man who worked with his hands, who wasn’t ashamed to get a little dirty.
But something in the way her friends were staring at her made her feel ashamed, for a reason she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
Diane had just told them all how her rich boyfriend had driven her out of the city for a romantic picnic before splashing out on a ridiculously expensive necklace.
Alice was dating a lawyer and Jasmin had just broken up with a partner in an architecture firm.
Merry had heard countless stories of how they had been spoiled and pampered by their men, and the thought of them judging her on her choice of boyfriend made her feel about three inches tall.
She felt like she had back at school — backed into a corner until she lied to make the cool kids like her.
“He’s not just a janitor,” she said with a little laugh.
She stared at the flowers and clenched her fists, hating herself for what she was about to say — which had nothing to do with how she herself felt about Christian and his career, and everything to do with how her friends felt about her .
“Why on earth would I date a janitor? No way.”
Everyone had fallen quiet, and Merry glanced up to see that nobody was looking at her. They were all staring to the side, their mouths open. Merry’s heart actually missed a beat, a wave of dread pouring over her.
Please , she begged, but even before she turned around she knew who she was going to see there.
Christian stood in the open staff room door. He was pale, and his mouth was open as if he had been physically struck. He looked at Merry with glossy eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, then he turned and left the room.
“Oh no!” Merry pushed herself up so fast her chair toppled over behind her.
“He really is hot,” said Diane, still smiling.
“Merry, go get him,” said Alice, her expression one of deep sympathy. “Go now, before it’s too late.”
Merry ran through the door, calling Christian’s name, and saw his trolley abandoned next to the wall.
It was already too late. He had gone.