Chapter 17 #2
He grabbed my arm lightly, his expression softening, as if he was trying to make me understand. “Come on, I’m serious. I want us to try again.”
I yanked my arm back, staring him down. “You want to get back together because I look better now? Because I’ve ‘changed’? Newsflash. You haven’t. You’re still the same guy who tore me down when I was at my lowest.”
“Do you really think someone like Topher Brodie, whose life is private planes, mansions, and yachts, is going to stay with you? Your life is dropping out of college and driving an airport shuttle. No, wait, getting fired from driving an airport shuttle.”
I stood my ground, trying not to let him get under my skin. “Regardless of what you think, I’d never get back together with you. You lied, you cheated, and you made me feel like I was never enough. I’m not going to settle for that again.”
I bit out the words, willing myself to stay calm, even though his words cut deeper than I wanted to admit.
Alex scoffed. “Face it. You’re not built for a serious relationship.
There’s just some fundamental part of you that’s missing.
I always felt like I was dating a stranger.
You shut me out of anything real, anything that mattered.
” He crossed his arms, his gaze cold. “And, you know what? Topher’s not going to stick around for that. ”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut, my fists clenching as I fought to hold my ground.
A small, unwelcome thought wormed its way into my mind: What if he’s right?
What if I’m not built for a serious relationship?
I’d always held people at a safe distance, built walls that even I didn’t know how to break down.
But I forced myself to stand taller, to keep my voice steady. “Just because you couldn’t handle me doesn’t mean no one can.”
Alex laughed, a hollow sound that felt designed to sting. “Keep telling yourself that. But people get tired, Kathleen. They get tired of trying to get through those walls you put up. Brodie might be playing along now, but when he sees the real you? He’ll be gone.”
I swallowed, the doubt clawing at me despite my best efforts. Could he be right? Would Topher see the parts of me I kept hidden and decide it wasn’t worth it?
But I wasn’t about to let Alex see that he’d rattled me. “Maybe the problem wasn’t me, Alex. Maybe it was that you never gave me a reason to trust you.”
His smirk faltered, just for a second, before he plastered it back on. “Believe whatever helps you sleep at night, Kathleen. But when he leaves—and he will—don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I watched him walk away. Leave it to Alex to stir up doubt when things were finally starting to feel good.
Liking Topher was risky. I knew that. Letting myself fall for him felt like stepping into the unknown, like jumping off a cliff and hoping I landed safely.
It was thrilling, but there was no denying the uncertainty creeping in.
Just as I was trying to shake the thought, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, freezing when I saw the number. The loan company.
I hesitated, then answered, trying to steady my voice. “Hello?”
“This is Amy from Pinnacle Loan Company. Is this Kathleen Avery?”
“Y-yes.”
“Good afternoon, Ms. Avery. I’m calling today because you haven’t responded to the email we sent you on October twentieth,” came the flat, emotionless voice on the other end.
“Your payment is overdue. If you don’t make the next payment soon, we’ll have to double the interest rate.
And if it goes to court, you’ll be responsible for all legal fees. ”
My throat tightened. “I... I’m working on it. I’ll have the money soon. Please don’t increase the rate. I can’t afford that. I’ll never be able to pay it back.”
“You’ve already had more time than we typically allow,” the voice droned on, like they were reading from a script. “You need to make the payment, or we’ll proceed with the next steps.”
“I’ll figure it out,” I whispered, but even as I said it, I felt like I was sinking deeper.
The weight of the debt pressed down on me, and no matter how much I tried to swim toward the surface, I couldn’t break free.
I should’ve been looking for a job this whole time instead of playing house with Topher and Josephine.
Now, I’d never be able to clear this loan.
My hand shook as I hung up the phone, the desperation clawing at me. For a split second, I was tempted to ask Topher for help. He could probably make this payment without even thinking twice. All it would take was a word, and the problem could disappear.
But then Alex’s words echoed in my head. How could he possibly be interested in you? You’re not built for a serious relationship.
What if Alex was right? What if Topher wasn’t someone I could truly rely on?
Sure, he might give me the money, but that didn’t mean he cared.
I’d be another task on his endless to-do list, another problem to solve and move on from.
And the thought of opening up to someone, only to be left behind, made me hesitate.
Or what if he realized I wasn’t good enough for him? A billionaire couldn’t be with a debt-riddled college dropout. He’d see that for sure if I asked for money.
No, I would figure this out on my own. I wasn’t about to lean on someone else. Depending on other people had never worked out for me before. Why would this time be any different?
I was still trying to make sense of it all when I saw Topher down the hall. His face lit up when he spotted me.
He jogged over. “Hey,” he said, breathless, a smile in his eyes. “Mom’s doing great. She’s just wrapping up with the physical therapist now.”
“That’s good,” I replied, keeping my tone even, as my mind spun out of control. Alex’s words stuck with me, poisoning everything. Topher glanced over at me, his brow furrowing slightly. “You okay? You seem a little distracted.”
I shrugged, trying to shake off the heavy thoughts. “Just a long day.”
He didn’t let it drop, though. Instead, he leaned closer, his arm brushing mine. The warmth of his touch sent a flicker of heat through me, even as my mind tried to pull me in the opposite direction. He pointed at a sign on the wall. “Please Do Not Remove the Lobby Plants? Really?”
I smiled, grateful for the distraction. “People are stealing fake plants now?”
Topher laughed, his voice warm. “I’d love to see someone just casually walking out of here with a giant plastic fern under their arm.”
I grinned. “Walk confidently enough, and no one will question it. ‘Excuse me, sir, is that hospital property?’ ‘No, it’s my emotional support fern.’”
Topher lost it, his laughter loud and genuine. Seeing him like that, laughing with abandon, made me feel warm inside.
But as the laughter faded, he glanced at me, and his smile softened. His hand rested on mine. His fingers brushed against my skin, his thumb tracing slow circles on the back of my hand.
“When you went off with Alex earlier…” His voice was quieter now, his gaze locked on mine.
My heart quickened. “What about it?”
He hesitated for another moment, then sighed softly. “I didn’t like it. Seeing you with him.”
My heart stuttered. His hand, still on mine, pressed just a little harder, his thumb still moving in those small, deliberate circles.
For a brief moment, the warmth of his touch and the sincerity in his eyes made me want to believe him.
Made me want to sink into that feeling and forget everything else.
But then, Alex’s voice echoed in my mind: You’re not built for a serious relationship. There’s just some fundamental part of you that’s missing. Alex knew the truth: I wasn’t amazing at all.
Topher’s hand stayed on mine, the pressure increasing slightly, and his eyes searched mine, hopeful, like he was opening a door between us, inviting me to step through. But instead of letting him in, I gently withdrew my hand.
His gaze flickered with a brief flash of hurt, but it disappeared so quickly I wondered if I imagined it.
Then, Josephine walked into the room with her usual bright smile, her presence immediately shifting the energy. Topher straightened, stepping toward his mom, his attention now entirely on her.
“Ready to head home?” Josephine asked, glancing between us with a tired but warm smile.
Once we arrived back at the house, Topher turned to me with a cautious look, almost as if he was afraid of what he might hear but needed to ask anyway.
“You seemed a little distant at the hospital,” he said, searching my face. “Is everything okay?”
I swallowed, knowing I owed him honesty, even if it wasn’t easy to say.
“It’s this, Topher. It’s us,” I began, feeling the weight of each word.
“I have so much to worry about right now. I’m not sure I have time for a relationship.
When it was fake… There was no pressure.
But now…” I sighed, feeling myself retreat as I said it.
“I’m sorry, Topher. I have to focus on finding a job and… and figuring out how to pay my loan.”
His hand twitched slightly, like he was about to reach out. “I can—”
“No,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “You can’t. I can’t count on anyone else to fix things for me. I need to do this on my own.”
He held my gaze for a moment, as if he were considering saying something more.
Then, almost imperceptibly, he nodded, his expression unreadable.
He turned and walked out, his shoulders tense but his stride steady as he disappeared down the hall.
Something in his silence left me unsettled, wondering what he was thinking.
I tried to ignore the tug of sadness as the door closed behind him. My focus should have been on finding a job, figuring out how to dig myself out from under the weight of my loan. I had agreed to stay just four weeks—until Josephine’s checkup next week—and then I’d be free.
And not a moment too soon.
There was no room for distractions, especially the kind Topher could bring.