Chapter Four
C hief D woke up with a gasp, realizing right away something was wrong. He rolled onto his side, staring at the empty space where the skate and the shaky weewee used to be. He let out a string of curses, then nudged the others awake.
“Get up!” He shoved the new phone into his sack. “Shaky weewee gone!”
Bruder Bumblenose sat up, rubbing his bulbous nose with a yawn. “Where did it go?”
“You know where!” Chief D grumbled. “Those nannies trick us!”
Bruder Sixfingers hung his head in his hands, his shaggy beard dragging the ground. “What we do?”
Chief D thrust a fist into the air. “We go get it!”
They all piled toward the exit then shoved Bruder Sixfingers out the door to check for cats. Once he whistled the all-clear, they scurried toward the crack in the opposite wall, following the sounds of hoots and hollers.
Chief D swallowed a knot in his throat when they found hundreds of angry bucks wagging their fists at the roller skate wedged in a crack in the wall, the buzzing sound of the purple menace coming from the other side of the wall.
Chief W hollered into the crowd, and they parted for him. He glared at Chief D while walking toward him, striking his staff against the ground.
“You!” Chief W jutted a finger at Chief D. “This your fault for bringing shaky weewee here!”
“We sorry.” Chief D dragged a hand down his face, his cheeks flushing with anger. “Nannies steal from us after tricking us with new video of Enchantress.”
The bucks of both tribes collectively sighed. Chief D took that moment to push through the crowd, his bucks following close behind. He scowled at the skate wedged into the crack in the wall, blocking their path. His tribe made him chieftain last fall because he’d figured out how to set off the gnome traps before taking the cheese. He had solved that problem. Now he would figure out this one, or else his tribe could be cursed with cats. He pushed on the skate. It was wedged in good, but the wheels had a little bit of give, one of them slowly spinning when he pushed hard enough.
“We need grease for wheels.” He looked at Chief W over his shoulder. “You have butter?”
Chief W nodded then signaled to his bucks to retrieve it. They returned momentarily with a moldy stick that smelled of old feet. Too bad they had to waste it on the skate. After rubbing the stick on the back wheels, they began to spin. He rubbed butter on his staff and wedged it beneath the skate, sliding it across the wheels. Then he called for the biggest and strongest of the gnomes to heave the skate forward. They pushed and pushed until it finally sprung free, jutting out into the next room and ramming into a group of startled nannies who fell onto their backs, their skirts flying over their heads.
Another group of nannies jumped forward, greeting them with toothpick spears. Chief D recognized the matriarch, Elka Heavy-Bottom, in the lead, snarling at them like a rabid cat. “Stop!” She raised her spear. “You no come closer.”
“Nannies, shaky weewee not yours,” Chief W said as he pushed his way beside Chief D and his bruders. “It belong to tribe Fungi-Toes.”
Elka waved toward him with a snarl. “They no want it.”
Chief D scowled before launching into a lecture. “We bring weewee to park of many trees or dryad inside curse us with many cats.”
The group collectively hissed.
The nannies huddled together before Elka spoke up for the group. “We give it back if you give us something,” she said to her chieftain.
Chief W scowled while defensively crossing his arms. “What?”
Elka turned up her chin, fire flashing in her eyes. “No more Enchantress.”
A wave of grumbling and cursing rose up from the crowd. How could she expect that of them? It was like asking them to cut out their hearts and feed them to the cats.
A cry rang out followed by another. One buck thrust his fist into the air. “But we loves her!”
The nannies jutted their hands on their hips, scowling at the bucks.
“This why we steal shaky weewee.” Elka shook a finger at the bucks. “You loves her more than us!”
Chief D turned to his bruders, mumbling, “Maybe that why our nannies want shaky weewee.”
They clutched their chests, looking at him as if he’d struck them with spears.
“Nah,” Bruder Gobbleneck said as the others agreed.
“No more Enchantress! No more Enchantress! No more Enchantress!” the nannies chanted, their voices growing louder, angrier.
Chief D knew they had to get out of there fast, but not without the shaky weewee.
They hissed when the candle lights flickered and then went out completely, bathing them in inky darkness.
“Stop!” a dark female voice echoed as an apparition rose up from the shaky weewee like a phantom emerging from the grave. She lit up the room with an ethereal glow that pulsed off her like a glowing cloak. Her tree bark skin glowed, too, and so did her eyes, which looked like twin solar flares. The apparition let out a groan, hanging her head in her hands. “Oh, my head. The shaking won’t stop.”
The nannies impatiently tapped their toes and gave the dryad an impatient look. Chief D hoped the dryad would give the nannies a good lecture and maybe a few curses for causing so much trouble.
He gave a start when the dryad turned a stone-cold look on him. “Listen to me, gnomes.” She wagged a finger in his direction. “The nannies are right. You’re all far too obsessed with the Enchantress.”
Chief D sputtered, his hand flying to his heart. How could she say such a thing about his beloved goddess?
Chief W surprised him by letting out a war cry and thrusting a fist into the air. “But she loves all creatures and we loves her!”
The dryad heaved a big sigh while rolling her eyes. “Then a compromise,” she said with a frozen smile. “I propose that you limit your time watching the Enchantress to one hour a week.”
“Nooooo!” the bucks yelled.
“They go cuckoo head for her all day.” Elka pouted. “They steal many phones just to watch her make stupid kissy faces!”
Anger flushed Chief D’s face and chest. These females were all jealous trolls. How could they say such things about the Enchantress?
The dryad rolled her eyes again before clasping her hands in front of her. “Bucks, you may watch her for one hour a day.”
The nannies broke into a cacophony of cheers and noxious giggles. Chief D would’ve been big mad at the jealous harpies if they had been from his tribe. He gave Chief W a sideways look, feeling sorry for the buck whose color had drained from his face, his jaw slackened, and his eyes watered with unshed tears.
“And nannies,” the dryad continued, her eyes flaring like she was a demon ghoul, “if you do not let tribe Fungi-Toes return me to the park of many trees, I will curse you with the plague of a thousand cats!”
A wave of hisses rose up from the tribe.
Elka cast the purple menace a woeful look. “Very well.” Then she pried the shaky weewee from an obstinate group of nannies and rolled it toward Chief D.
Chief D made a face when he saw the shaky weewee was covered in a clear, sticky goo. He motioned toward his bruders to pick it up.
Bruder Bumblenose heaved the shaky weewee into his arms before dropping it with a scowl. “It sticky.”
“Who cares?” Chief W jutted a fat finger toward the alley. “Take it and go before the nannies change their minds!”
That’s all the encouragement Chief D and his bruders needed. They heaved the slippery weewee into the buttered skate and shoved it back through the hole before bolting out of there, keenly aware of the nannies following at their heels like vampires trailing fresh blood.