22. Thomas
22
THOMAS
‘ H ello!’ Thomas said as the front door opened and Winnie and Wendy stood there grinning at him.
‘Hello, Uncle Thomas!’ they said in tandem, and he scooped them into a big hug.
Behind them came Marnie and Bligh. His brother-in-law was carrying a shopping bag and a rather grim expression.
‘Can we play with Fifi?’ Winnie asked.
‘Of course.’ Thomas nodded. ‘She’s in the garden.’
Fifi was sunning herself in the courtyard and her day would be made when she saw the twins. She loved the children and the fuss they made of her.
‘We need to speak to you,’ Bligh said.
‘OK. But we’d better keep an eye on Fifi and the children.’ Thomas led the way through to the kitchen where the bifold doors were open to the courtyard. Winnie and Wendy were already making a fuss of Fifi, and she was lying on her back enjoying every minute.
‘Tea? Coffee?’ Thomas asked as he filled the kettle.
‘I’ll make it.’ Bligh took the kettle from him. ‘Sit down with Marnie.’
Thomas felt his heart drop to his flip flops. ‘What is it? Are you OK, Marnie? Is the baby?’ All his worst fears flashed before his eyes, and his stomach churned.
‘No, the baby is fine. I’m fine too,’ she said, but she was very pale, and Thomas was instantly tense with worry.
‘What is it then?’ He glanced over at the doorway to check on things, but Bligh was standing there watching his daughters and Fifi play.
‘Have you seen the news today?’ Marnie asked. ‘I’m guessing not because otherwise you wouldn’t be so relaxed. Unless, of course, you no longer care which would be absolutely wonderful, but I can’t imagine that being the case and so… oh god… Thomas, please take a deep breath and brace yourself.’
‘What? Why?’ He frowned at his sister and wished she’d spit it out. There was nothing worse than being told there was bad news but having to wait to find out what it was. It reminded him of the phone call from Marnie nine years ago. It had taken her ages to explain that their dad had suffered a heart attack and was in hospital. He’d been alive, and later made a full recovery and moved to the Lake District with their mum — where they were still living their dream — but waiting for Marnie to tell him everything had been torture. Filling in the blanks had to be far worse than actually knowing the facts, surely?
Marnie opened her bag and got her iPad out then she scrolled down the screen and placed it on the table. She slid it over to him. At first, he wasn’t sure what he was seeing but then it became clear and he froze. ‘Shit.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Shit. Shit. Shit. How could she?’
‘What?’ Marnie shook her head. ‘Who?’
‘Who do you think? It’s clear from this that it was her.’
‘Nooooo. She wouldn’t do that.’
‘How else would they know I’m here?’
‘Because everyone does now? Because it’s easy enough to track someone down, especially someone famous? You’ve been found and that’s all this is. It will die down again and they’ll leave you alone. But this is just a few photographs and salacious headlines.’
‘Is it?’ Thomas felt chilled to the bone. His hands kept clenching and unclenching and his jaw was tight. ‘Look at the photos, Marnie.’
Together, they scrolled through the dozen shots that showed him on the beach in his shorts with a red arrow pointing at his injured leg, at him playing in the sea with Fifi and with Lena, of him doing yoga on the beach at sunrise and of him sitting on the bench at The Garden Café with Lena next to him, her head resting on his shoulder.
‘This isn’t what you think.’ Marnie shook her head. ‘She wouldn’t do this. What has she got to gain?’
‘She’s a journalist, Marnie. What do you think she’ll gain? Money. Fame. A social media following that will sell her book to one of the big five publishers and make her a household name.’
‘No, Thomas. Listen to yourself!’ Marnie’s cheeks were red and her eyes glistened. ‘Not everyone is like that and Lena certainly isn’t. Don’t push her away because of this. You’re listening to that voice in your head that tells you bad things, but you don’t need to heed it. Trust your gut with this one and believe that Lena is a good person, and she wouldn’t do that to you. She really cares about you.’
Marnie shifted in her seat and grimaced then rubbed a hand over her belly.
‘What it is?’ he asked.
‘Just the baby squishing my bladder. Please Thomas, listen to me now. This isn’t Lena. This is someone else. A tourist who spotted you then followed you for a bit. A freelance journalist on holiday with friends who got lucky when they saw you. It’s probably completely random and not anything at all to worry about. This won’t come to anything.’
He rubbed his cheeks hard, scraping against the stubble, then sighed. His chest was aching with sadness and his mind was filled with a thousand confusing thoughts.
The headlines kept running through his mind on repeat:
Once a Hero, now a Hermit: Former Footballer Found in Cornwall
Cornwall’s Best Kept Secret: The Footballer Who Fled to the Coast After a Life-changing Accident
From Baller to Beast: How the Footballer Lost Everything then Found Love in Cornwall
Ex-Player’s Final Whistle: The Star Who Vanished After the Final Play
From Injury to Intimacy: Ex-player Spotted With Mystery Woman—Is it Love?
No Red Cards Here: Former Footballer’s Golden Balls Back in Play
The last one made bile rise in his throat. What the hell! Why did these damned journalists think they could comment on someone’s life like this? He wasn’t even a so-called celebrity anymore, and this was not what he wanted for his future. Imagine if at some point he had children, and some journalist took photos of them then posted them everywhere? It would enrage him, and he would hate the invasion of his privacy. But what could he do to stop it?
He was swept up in a tsunami of feeling powerless, just as he had been when he’d woken in the hospital bed.
There was one thing he could do and that was to end things with Lena, if they were even real at all or simply Lena’s attempt to sell her book. Then he could hide away again until it died down and make sure he was never spotted again. He hated the photographs of himself that they’d taken, especially the ones of his leg. What kind of monster would do that then paste a big, red arrow over the photo to draw attention to his injury? What was wrong with these people?
‘Oh Thomas.’ Marnie got up and came to his side then wrapped her arms around him. Her bump pressed against him, and he felt the baby kicking. At least the little one was safely hidden inside Marnie’s belly and would be safe for a while yet. ‘Everything will be all right, I promise you. This will go away, and they’ll find someone else to pick on. They were clearly just desperate for a story to fill the weekend headlines.’
He closed his eyes and relaxed into her hug, trying to ignore the tears that ran down his cheeks and the sensation that his heart was being torn in two.
Whether or not this was Lena’s doing, didn’t matter. It was a warning of what could happen, and he didn’t want to bring his old life here to this sanctuary, to the place where he felt safe with his family and where he’d thought they were safe from prying eyes. Lena was an outsider, and he barely knew her. She hadn’t even told him where she got her scars from even though he’d asked once. Not wanting to push her, he hadn’t asked again but had hoped she’d tell him. The fact that she hadn’t suggested she didn’t trust him enough to confide in him and that should have been a warning in itself. He had shared with Lena, too much perhaps, and the thought that those things could soon be splattered all over the media sickened him to his stomach.
Just then, his phone started ringing, so he picked it up off the table and saw that it was Lena. He muted it and put it face down.
‘Thomas? You need to speak to her. She’s probably seen the headlines by now. She was in those photos too and I saw the scars on her stomach. She’s been through a lot by the look of it and you need to stick together.’
He shook his head then moved gently out of her hug and stood up.
‘I can’t, Marnie. I just can’t.’
He put his phone in a drawer then headed upstairs to his bedroom, needing to lie down and close his eyes for a bit just to stop the whirring in his brain. This was a sign that he needed to slow down and hide away, to protect himself from the outside world and to forget about falling in love with Lena.
Thomas was like the beast in the fairytale but for him there was no magic kiss to free him from his hideous exterior. He would never be able to recapture the man he’d once been and he shouldn’t have even tried.