Chapter 5
Five
Emma returned to a cabin in chaos. A cell phone alarm blared. Pillows littered the floor. And three harried looking women were tossing articles of clothing everywhere.
“What’s going on?” Emma shouted above the noise.
“Maggot can’t find her phone,” Christine yelled.
Emma drew back her chin. Referring to Margaux by the unkind nickname recalled that first summer when the East Coast girls totally shunned her. Before Liz coined Marge as a slight improvement.
“Name calling is not helping,” Jennifer said in a sing-song tone.
Margaux’s red cheeks rivaled the ambulances’ flashing lights last night.
Emma shut the screen door and took a step to the side, spotting the offending device on its side, screen facing the wall next to the bunk. She bent and retrieved the phone, shutting the alarm off.
Margaux rushed forward, grabbing the device. “Thank you.”
Jennifer and Christine raced to the bathroom.
“Hey, it’s just an accident. Don’t sweat it,” Emma murmured, trying to catch Margaux’s eye.
“After everything and the note, I’m becoming a problem for you all. Maybe I should leave.” Margaux kept her gaze on the floorboards.
Emma ached for the other woman. Margaux was a sophisticated adult, and she’d fallen victim to youthful insecurities.
How quickly she’d reverted to her old self reminded Emma that no one was free of imposter syndrome, no matter how rich or cultured.
Anxiety didn’t care about material trappings.
“Of course you should stay. But you’re an adult. You have to do what’s best for you.”
“Are you alright?” Margaux asked, leaning close and peering at her intently.
Emma took a half-step back, her knee hitting an end table. “Me? Fine. Great. Why do you ask?”
“I heard you talking in your sleep. You were saying, no Liz. Don’t go. Stay.”
Emma widened her eyes. “I said that?”
“Are you joking? You don’t remember?” Margaux shot her an unsure look. “You were so loud and repetitive.”
Emma folded her arms over her chest. She’d thought she’d had a good night’s sleep, glad to wake up without any lingering terrors. After what she’d just experienced, she worried her grip on reality slipped through her fingers.
“Are you sure it’s safe for you here? Is it bringing up a lot memories?
” Margaux asked. “I can give you a ride to the airport if you want to leave early. My driver is happy to take you if this is too much. I might go, too. I don’t know that I’d stay with them.
” She pointed her thumb over her shoulder.
“I’m staying. I have to. You can make your own choices if you want to leave.
” Regaining her memories was exactly her aim in returning.
But Margaux’s revelation that Emma was talking in her sleep rattled her.
It might be a new symptom. Although, Emma wouldn’t know.
She hadn’t had a roommate in years to tell her otherwise.
Embarrassment burned her from the inside out.
The bathroom door opened.
Emma made a beeline for it, grabbing the clothes out of her duffle. She changed quickly. After getting ready, all four headed to the mess hall. The smell of bacon, pancakes, and syrup wafted through the door.
They settled at their usual table. Emma saw Jennifer and Christine’s stiff shoulders sag. Margaux perked up, too. Nothing like carbs and caffeine to boost the spirit.
Emma glanced at the corner of the room. The cot was still in place, but the pillow and blankets were gone. If he didn’t intend on staying, he’d have told her. She’d feel better if she knew where he had relocated.
He said they’d leave in a bit. She trusted him to find her. Having him close was nice and comforting. She might be tongue-tied in his presence, but she didn’t mind being awkward.
She’d buried her feelings for him along with so much else that last summer here.
The good and the bad had all been forgotten.
Until she’d returned, she hadn’t thought about him or those she left behind.
Now she couldn’t figure out how she’d go back to her solitary life.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to be on her own in her personal life any longer.
In her work, she was surrounded by people. She focused on others and giving back. But maybe she needed to learn to receive as well. Maybe she needed both for a happy and full life.
“We’re hiking this morning,” Christine announced. “Like old times. It’s a sunny day. Weather should hold, and we’d better take advantage of it. We want to hit up the old haunts.”
Is that smart? Emma nibbled the inside of her cheek. She had to be careful what she shared and with whom.
“It’s such a trip being here, isn’t it? Like stepping into a photo album,” Jennifer added.
Emma wasn’t sure she agreed. The memories she retained were tinged with feelings, warping the recollections with strong emotions. She didn’t share that with the others.
“Oh, really? You’re heading out all day?” Margaux said. “I thought we could play a board game and hang out. Chill after yesterday. I’m still exhausted.”
“Why did you set an alarm then?” Christine rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t. I forgot to turn it off,” Margaux murmured.
“Not Clue,” Jennifer said. “You’re obsessed with that game.”
“Maybe because she always wins,” Emma said. She froze at the clear jog in her recollections.
Margaux’s deductive reasoning skills were the best out of the group.
She dominated at Clue every time, although Jennifer and Christine often expressed their belief she was cheating somehow.
Emma might share that tidbit with Daniel.
Perhaps including Margaux in the case might help solve it that much faster.
And perhaps the longer Emma was here, the more she’d regain.
The screen door snapped.
Emma lifted her gaze and met Daniel’s in the entryway. “I have to take a raincheck on both activities today.” She rose from the bench.
With a frown, Margaux reached out and grabbed Emma’s elbow. “Be careful.”
Emma nodded and offered a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, slipping free from her friend’s grasp.
She hadn’t spent much time in hospitals.
After her experience last night, she wasn’t eager to head back there.
But she had to if she wanted to talk to Owen.
He probably wouldn’t be released from a doctor’s round the clock care before the end of her visit.
She put one foot in front of the other, willing herself to move forward.
Daniel held open the door for her, and Emma slipped inside his vehicle.
She wouldn’t read anything into that. She had no experience with the police.
For all she knew, the front doors were only able to be opened by a trained professional.
Or was it that a person in the back couldn’t get out on their own?
Whatever, she wouldn’t take the action as a gentlemanly gesture.
She’d focus on the task at hand. Talking to Owen and learning the truth.
They drove out of camp and onto the highway leading to the hospital in silence.
She again leaned into the feeling of security.
Not just because of his job and his badge, but because of him.
She’d always trusted Daniel and had no reason—besides extreme pain—to push him away like she did. “Sheriff, I wanted to apologize.”
“Apologize? For what?” he asked.
She sighed. “Everything. I wasn’t a good friend to you. I let our friendship wither. A lot of good vanished in the wake of so much bad.”
“I’ve never been mad. I’ve always understood. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a sibling. Your family shattered. Your parents endured terrible pain. And for you?” He shook his head. “The death of your twin must be like losing part of your soul.”
Here it comes. She braced herself for the wave of niceties she’d grown weary of. The sympathy and empathy. All of it felt so shallow compared to the real fathoms-deep pain.
“Finding yourself must have been a lot.”
She hadn’t heard that sentiment before. He was right.
Figuring out who she was as a single act instead of a double had been the hardest part of adapting to life without Liz.
Where one of them was lacking the other carried the weight.
They’d been such partners growing up that Liz often remarked any husbands they found would have a hard time building a life together and separating out the other twin.
His words didn’t spark the same sharp pain in her heart. Emma softened her hard posture, relaxing inch by inch.
“No one would resent you needing space.”
“I’ll be on the search for myself for the rest of my life,” she said. “But I’ve come to understand that’s true for most people. I guess leaning on my faith helps there.”
“We all need Him. I’ve tried to be a light for those in our community. Living my life and never hiding what I believe hasn’t always been easy. I’ve been a target for unkindness and pettiness.”
“But you keep being honest. You’re incredibly courageous.”
“I don’t know if it’s bravery or stubbornness. But I keep at it. I’ve helped some people turn their lives around. Not everyone. Enough to prove to myself that it’s the right thing to do. What have you been doing with your life?”
“I’m a therapist. I specialize in behavioral counseling.
Helping at-risk teens. Trying to give people hope.
” Every person mattered to the Lord, and Emma wanted to spread the word.
No problem was too great or shameful to ask for forgiveness and find a way forward.
Perfect and normal didn’t exist. She wanted to help others live without the regrets that plagued her.
“A life well lived.”
Or at least time spent well. She wasn’t sure how much living she had accomplished.
But she didn’t correct him. “Seeing the camp is sad. It’s deteriorated, but I can’t remember the last year.
My memories of that time are hazy. What I can recall are from those early summers.
I’m sorry you didn’t get to experience it. ”
“Because my family couldn’t afford it? Or because I’m a boy?” He chuckled.