16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
Betty
I can save him.
The mantra is as clear as the sun in a cloudless sky. The fog of my life lifts the same moment Laredo lifted his guitar a moment ago.
I may be clueless when it comes to fixing myself, but I clearly see him. Last summer, I found his self-centered, I can do it better than anyone bad-boy behavior attractive. He was breaking the rules and living his life on his terms. That’s how I was living my life. We were simpatico.
But now, I see the casualties left in the wake of his one-man storm. Last year, he and his brother tangled until the point his family band crumbled apart. Him still not understanding and repeating the same behavior at the studio this afternoon with Ariel when she asked him to play bass.
Laredo doesn’t enjoy being relegated to the shadows.
But it’s not all about him all the time.
I can save him.
I place the denim jacket on the waist-high speaker next to me and step forward into his line of sight. I have no concerns that he won’t notice. His eyes always find me whenever we are near. A refreshing fact I reveled in during our two-plus hours on the boardwalk. Even when the scantily clad, bikini-wearing women strutted down the boardwalk, Laredo’s eyes were on me.
Every. Single. Time.
The crowd has gone quiet, unable to clap with the impossible beat Laredo is playing. So, I do the opposite. I sway my hips, slow. It’s a dangerous, sensuous, slow-dance grinding with your boyfriend in the basement with your parent upstairs sway.
Laredo’s eyes perform one of the greatest double takes I’ve ever experienced. His eyes ricochet from the guitar strings to my hips and back to the guitar before finally settling on me.
My heart races because this is freaking intoxicating. I’ve never had this much power over any man in my life. I turn to let him enjoy my backside and slow the swing in my hips even further, knowing what comes next.
The melody of the song relents from its breakneck speed. The crowd joins back in, clapping and whistling with the return of the familiar melody. I wiggle my hips and lift my arms above my head. I don’t have to look to know drool is falling from Laredo’s mouth.
My fingers work their way through my wild hair, and the bass finally returns to its original pace. I’ve brought him all the way back from the top of the mountain, back to the village with the rest of us.
Ricco joins back in, the duo of guitarists pulling Everett back to the center stage microphone. As far as anyone in the crowd knows, this was all planned.
I’ve done it.
I’ve saved him from himself.
I brace myself and chance a glance in Laredo’s direction. His eyes are right where I knew they would be. On me.
He nibbles his lower lip as if it’s the only thing keeping him from grabbing me and tossing me over his shoulder caveman-style. My schoolgirl giggle gets lost in the song. He mouths the words that are on my mind.
I.
Want.
You.
I don’t trust myself to respond, spinning to face the crowd to avoid him. I want him too. I really do. How the hell did I think for one second I could stay away from him? No man has ever looked at me the way he does. No man has ever made me feel the way he does.
I want him, I really do. What we had last year was magical. But it was short-lived. And it came with consequences.
Consequences I’ve yet to share with him. Consequences I’m afraid to tell him about. If I do, it will change everything between us.
Without thinking, I turn. Laredo’s eyes snap right to me. The corners of his mouth curl up into a smile I can’t believe I elicit. My heart swoons, overwhelmed by the desire and want in this man’s eyes.
He only sees the best in me. He makes me feel worthy. Makes me feel like I can do no wrong.
If I tell him what happened after he left last summer, I know that will change. He’ll never look at me the same way.
He’s leaving in a week. Nothing positive can come from me telling him. I can recite a dozen more reasons why I shouldn’t tell him.
But I’m only fooling myself. The true reason I don’t tell him is because I’m petrified. Telling him would mean I would no longer have any place left to hide. They say the truth will set you free.
Then how come every time I think of it, all I feel are the walls of my world closing in?