Chapter 59
KASSIOPI FOOTBALL PITCH, KASSIOPI
Kostas stood in the centre of the astroturf pitch and closed his eyes. It was like going back in time. Him, fourteen years old, being made to play a sport he had never been very good at.
‘You were always such a terrible football player,’ Kyriaki said, stomping across to him, the motorbike helmet still on her head but not, apparently, preventing her from reading his mind.
‘I was,’ he agreed. ‘There was never going to be any chance for me to play for anyone in the A division here, let alone for my country. But Yiayia, why do you have the helmet still on? You should have left this with the bike.’ He started to try to take it off.
‘Why must I do that? With it on no one can see it is me.’
Kostas looked her up and down. Her boots would give her away immediately to anyone who knew her. But that was not his main concern. ‘Why would you not want anyone to see you?’
‘Too much talking. Too much asking where I have been. Too many questions about how my grandson is. Questions I have only answers they do not want, or answers I cannot provide.’
‘OK, come on, enough, it is too hot to be wearing that helmet for more than the ride.’ He didn’t listen to her protests any more, he just unstrapped it, took it off and put it on the ground. ‘And you should not avoid people.’
‘I do not avoid people,’ she insisted, flattening her headscarf with her hand. ‘I see the people I want to see when I want to see them. I like to protect my peace and there is nothing wrong with that. Solitude does not have to be isolation you know.’
Kostas smiled. ‘I keep forgetting how wise you are.’
‘And all that wisdom without a coffee machine or a television,’ Kyriaki answered. ‘Why are we here at the football pitch? I thought you said lunch at a taverna.’
‘We are here because there is no basketball court.’
‘And that makes no sense.’
‘There should be, don’t you think?’
‘Ah, you have thought about a new plan. Instead of wrecking Avlaki and Erimitis you are going to tear up all the local football pitches and replace them with basketball courts.’ She scoffed. ‘I think you underestimate how much the Corfiots love football.’
‘But they also love basketball,’ Kostas said. ‘Or they would not have a statue of me in the capital.’
‘I would bet money on that being decapitated if you decide to go ahead with the grand marina resort.’
Bet money. He swallowed. His father had let betting wreck his whole life, take his life, and he had given his own money way too much importance.
‘Konstantino, I should not have said that like that. I only meant—’
‘It is OK,’ Kostas told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. ‘I know what you meant and, yes, you are probably right. Perhaps I will help them remove the whole thing and replace it with a statue of someone who truly deserves it. Maybe the guy who created Maestro in Blue.’
‘That would not be the worst idea,’ Kyriaki said, nodding. ‘So, I say again, why are we here?’
‘OK,’ he said. ‘I do not want to tear up the football pitches.’
‘Bravo.’
‘I am getting Stathis to work on a different idea. To create something I hope you are going to be proud of.’
‘Konstantino,’ Kyriaki said. ‘I do not want you to do anything at all based on anyone else’s feelings. Least of all mine. Remember what I told you about being authentic in your decision-making?’
‘I know,’ Kostas said. ‘I am.’ He sighed. ‘And I know there is also a lot more work to be done. Most of all on me.’ He sighed. ‘And that is going to take some time.’
‘Konstantino—’ She reached out and rested a hand on his arm.
‘I am OK, Yiayia.’ He smiled. ‘The time I have spent here, even before talking with you about my father, something shifted yet I did not want to see it, did not want to admit it, because it went against everything I had made myself to be.’
‘Now you are not talking about being back on the island. You are talking about Faye,’ Kyriaki said.
‘Yeah.’ He nodded, put his hands to his head, scrunched his hair.
‘I don’t want to have lost her.’ He shook his head.
‘What am I saying? Did I even have her how I should have had her? She is this amazing woman and I was… loose with my actions, because I was too stupid, too guarded, to tell her how it felt different with her.’
‘And it is too late?’
‘Very early on, when we first met, she told me how she valued honesty above everything else. And that was one of the things I never fully gave her.’ He sighed.
‘And now she thinks that none of it was real when every single thing, apart from not telling her about the development, was as real as it’s ever been for me. ’
‘Then what are you going to do?’ Kyriaki asked him.
‘I don’t want to give up.’
‘OK…’
‘I want to make things right. And I want her to know the truth, to feel the truth.’
‘Which is?’
‘That I… care about her.’ He swallowed, feeling his heart contract at the realisation within him. ‘That I care about her more than I have ever cared about anyone.’
‘And how are you going to prove that to her?’
He mused on his grandmother’s question. ‘By fighting for her. Fighting for what we’ve started to have together. By… being completely honest with her now.’
Kyriaki shook her head. ‘If she is the kind of woman that I think she is, Konstantino mou, you need to go further than that.’
‘How?’ Kostas asked.
‘If you say you are no longer going to make your deplorable plan a reality, what are you hoping to do? Sweep the idea under the carpet? That can only happen if nobody ever finds out and, what can I say? It is a very small island, and people, they talk.’
‘And when people know… they are going to hate me.’
Kyriaki nodded. ‘Yes.’
Kostas put his hands to his head. Suddenly he felt that no matter what he did, this wasn’t going to end well. There was no right answer. No winners in this situation.
‘However,’ Kyriaki said, kicking a little at the astroturf.
‘Really that will be their initial reaction. Like when you visit the doctor and he hits your leg with a hammer. It is something you cannot contain, it just happens. After, they will hate only the idea, not you. But that will take a lot of time. Years I expect.’
‘Well, that is great,’ Kostas said, flinging his arms out. ‘I cannot wait for that.’
‘But it will take a lot less time if you give them something else to focus on. Something good.’
‘Like basketball courts?’
‘Yes. However, as I said, to turn the opinion of the people faster, to have a chance again with Faye, you have to take the biggest risk of all. Are you prepared for that, Konstantino?’
And then, all at once, he realised what his grandmother was trying to tell him, and his stomach began to churn and tie itself in knots at the very concept of it. ‘You want me to tell everyone about my resort idea. To let them know what I had planned. You want me to—’
‘Own your mistakes, Konstantino,’ Kyriaki told him.
‘Something your father never ever did. That is the action of a good man. You do not hide things, you do not run from things, you face things with courage and determination just like you did in every game you played.’ She put a hand on his arm.
‘And, if you do it as publicly as you can, if you stand up right in front of people and you admit to them what you have done wrong and how you are going to make sure you put it right, you will have a chance for redemption with the people of this island.’
Go on record. Speak the truth. Not pretend any more. It was a scary proposition but one that had a chance to really set him free.
‘That scares you, Konstantino mou?’
He nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘Good,’ Kyriaki replied, patting his arm. ‘It should. That is how we know we have made important decisions.’
‘But what if it does not work?’ Kostas asked her. ‘What if I tell my truth and people still hate me for what I was going to do?’ He swallowed. ‘What if Faye hates me?’
‘Oh, Konstantino mou, I am afraid that what happens with other people after you have been honest is out of your control.’ She sighed. ‘But it has to be enough to know you did as much as you could to make things right.’
It felt horrible. If he did this he was signing up to be publicly humiliated and loathed and perhaps even the good he wanted to do wouldn’t be welcomed from someone like him.
But perhaps that’s exactly what he deserved to feel.
Maybe he needed to go through this to come out the other side a better, stronger, more put-together person.
‘And, Konstantino,’ Kyriaki said softly.
‘Yes?’
‘If you and Faye are meant to be together, there is nothing on this earth that can get in the way.’ She squeezed his arm.
‘Give her time. Give her space. From what I have heard, she is a woman who has had to be many things to many people and then had to discover who she is all over again. So, take your time and be patient. But if you are serious about her, Konstantino, then become the man she deserves to have in her life.’
He took a deep breath. ‘OK.’
‘OK?’ Kyriaki asked. ‘We can go and eat now?’
‘Yes,’ Kostas said. He checked his watch then picked up the helmet. ‘OK, we better go. We do not want to be late.’