Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Shep
Why was I inviting her to the rooftop deck? It was small and intimate, and I'd never shared it with anyone before. The primary bedroom and the attic space were the only places in the home I called my own.
My grandmother told me stories of playing in the attic, but she hadn't been up there in years before her death.
There were no memories up here, other than the ones I'd made. On the roof, I felt alone but on top of the world. As if nothing could reach me. I'd never felt the desire to share it with anyone else.
I'd resisted telling anyone that asked that I'd completed one project—the attic—and that's why I hadn't had time to make a dent in anything else. I was proud of this space.
Emotions flittered over her face. Curiosity and doubt warred with each other. Finally, she said, "When will I have an opportunity like this again? How many people get to see your rooftop deck?"
I grinned at her, inordinately pleased that she'd said yes. "Not many."
I led the way back upstairs. I'd bought a few wax candles that automatically turned on at five in the evening. They were placed on the deck and gave it ambiance. Something I'd never thought of before when it was just me enjoying this area.
I pushed open the door that led to the deck and waited for Kinsley to move past me. She smelled like something tropical. My entire bathroom smelled like her after she showered, and I wanted to bottle it up and keep it forever.
She'd made my life better by being here, but I couldn't share any of those thoughts with her.
The deck ran the length of this side of the house but wasn't very wide. I'd placed a long couch along the wall so that I could lay here when it was hard to sleep.
I showed her where the blankets were, then ducked back inside to grab drinks from the kitchenette. I returned with water and a bottle of wine with two glasses.
"I thought you might enjoy some wine."
"That would be nice." Kinsley sat on the couch with the blanket covering her legs.
I sat next to her, pouring the wine into two glasses, then handing her one. I lifted my glass. "To the ocean."
"To the ocean." She clinked hers against mine.
She was quiet for a few minutes, probably taking in the glow of the moon over the water. "I can't believe you get this view every might."
"I come up here in the evening."
"I don't blame you. I'd do the same."
"My grandmother told me stories that her and her siblings played up here in the attic. Then they'd play hide-and-seek through the house and grounds."
"Those are sweet memories."
"Her siblings moved off the island and made lives elsewhere, but she couldn't let go of this place. Neither can I."
"Thank you for sharing that with me."
"I miss her. But it helps to share this house with her. I can still see her baking cinnamon rolls in the kitchen or sitting on the back patio to enjoy the view."
"And now this is all yours."
"The responsibility feels like too much sometimes. I want to preserve the history while bringing the house into the modern era. I want an updated kitchen and plenty of storage space, but I'm still working within the confines of the current layout."
"I think we can do that and keep it tasteful. You were able to create this oasis without hurting the feel of the home."
"The only thing I added to this deck was the couch and the lanterns."
"If I were you, I'd sleep outside."
"Sometimes I do. I can't get enough of the stars." I pointed overhead, and she dropped her head back to see. There were a million out tonight.
"There must not be a cloud in the sky now."
"The stars made me feel like anything's possible. Like if you wished upon a star, your dreams would come true. The only problem is what do you want?"
There was a breeze coming from the ocean that left the taste of salt on my lips. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore lulled me into a feeling of contentment.
"A family for me and Maya? Someone to come home to at the end of the night who's older than five?" Then Kinsley laughed as if she'd revealed too much.
"I always feel small when I come up here. The world is so big, ya know?" I asked to make the moment feel lighter.
"I'm getting that feeling too."
We fell silent, content to enjoy the view and the night air. I was reluctant for the night to end. "Do you want to play a game?"
"What did you have in mind?"
I threw a thumb over my shoulder. "The attic is stocked with every game you can imagine. I had visions of rainy days playing games and putting puzzles together."
"Who do you play games with?" Kinsley asked, nothing but curiosity in her voice.
"The idea was the family would be over and I'd play with them. But the rest of the house isn't ready yet."
"And you haven't told anyone about this amazing space." Maya's gaze moved from the sky to me. "Not that I blame you. I'd probably keep this space a secret too."
"It has been nice to have somewhere to escape to that no one knows about."
"I know about it now," Kinsley said softly.
"You do." But I didn't think she'd ever tell my family about it before I was ready or invade my space if I wanted privacy. I liked seeing her here in this place that had come to mean so much to me.
I stood, and Kinsley followed me inside where there was a cupboard filled with games and puzzles. I opened it, and she said, "You do have a lot of games."
"We loved playing board games growing up. There were a lot of fights with all of us, but I have good memories of doing this together."
"Which one is your favorite from childhood?"
I pulled down the deluxe version of Monopoly. It was brand new, never been played before. "We used to have marathon sessions. We never wanted to quit. We'd keep track of everyone's money in a notebook."
She shrugged. "I don't know if I have time for a marathon session, but we can start a game."
I nodded. "Let's do it."
I set up the game on the couch so that the board was situated between us, and the bank was on the floor at our feet.
Kinsley rolled first and counted out six spaces. "I never remember. Are you supposed to buy everything you land on, or should I wait for the green or blue properties at the end?"
"It's a strategy you can use," I said cryptically.
Kinsley laughed. "Ah. You're not going to help me. Are you competitive?"
I smirked. "I have five brothers and one sister. What do you think?"
She bit her lip. "You take your games seriously."
"I have, yes." But I wasn't planning on being cutthroat with Kinsley. I was just enjoying being on the rooftop with her.
The breeze tickled our skin, cooling me off. The water crashing on the shore was an ever-present sound that never failed to soothe my soul.
Kinsley thought for a few seconds, then put cash in the bank. "I'll buy it."
While she sorted through the properties to find the one she needed, I rolled the dice. We continued like that, with her buying everything she landed on until she was short on money and me biding my time.
"I wonder which strategy will win," Kinsley said thoughtfully.
"I've played this enough to know that either can win the game. There was a fair amount of luck involved. But once hotels were added, the game tends to bankrupt players quickly."
A crease appeared between her eyebrows. "Is that your endgame? Hotels?"
"Isn't that everyone's? World domination?" Except I was starting to think my endgame was Kinsley and Maya, although I had no business thinking of them as mine. I pumped my fist when I landed on Park Place and bought it.
Kinsley groaned. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"
"I wouldn't say that. Yet."
She shook her head. "Ugh. I should have known you were a real-estate mogul."
I chuckled. "In Monopoly only."
We played a few more rounds before Kinsley started yawning.
"I can save the game for another day." Or we could start over. It didn't matter to me. I just enjoyed sharing my favorite childhood game with her.
Kinsley stood and folded my blanket, placing it on the cushion where I'd just been sitting. "Let's start over in case Maya wants to play. I'd better get to bed if I want to be functional tomorrow."
I carefully carried the board inside and placed it on a table. I'd put it away later.
Kinsley paused at the stairs. "Thanks for showing me this place."
I didn't share this place with many people, but I didn't have any regrets sharing it with her. "You're welcome to come up here anytime you want."
"Night, Shep."
"Night, Kins." My voice was low and rough.
I heard her footsteps on the steps, and I waited until they faded before heading back onto the deck.
I might not have bought the house, but it was mine. It was a huge responsibility, but at the same time, it felt good to own something like this with so much history.
For a short time, I was sharing it with Kinsley and Maya. It was nice to have them fill the space with their things. Maya had bath toys, books, blankets, and Legos scattered in the living room, the bathroom, and even the hallway.
I couldn't walk anywhere without seeing evidence that they lived here. And it was nice. I liked seeing the empty tables filled with toys.
I was starting to think the house was filled with love and not emptiness. As much as I loved this house, it was weird being here when my grandmother wasn't. I associated so many of the rooms with her.
But now that Kinsley and Maya filled the empty spaces, it felt nice. It was different, and I liked it.
Being with Kinsley when Maya wasn't around was tempting. I couldn't avoid my attraction to her. It was impossible to pretend that I wasn't physically attracted to her.
We should avoid being alone together. Especially at night when Maya wasn't around to distract us with her antics.
The stars and the ocean were no distraction from Kinsley. She outshone them all. But she was my employee, and as my dad reminded me, I couldn't blur those lines and risk screwing everything up. She needed this job, and I needed my dad's respect.
For once, I'd do the right thing. I'd pretend that I wasn't attracted to Kinsley. That I didn't long to touch her.
I had to keep thinking of her as my employee and not anything else. Too much was riding on staying in my lane.