Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Shep
I rarely had anyone over for a meal, and Maya made it easier. Everyone was entranced with her because she was so cute.
But my brain was hung up on Kinsley's declaration that she might move out before the wedding. My chest had been tight ever since.
Was she really considering moving out? Did she not feel welcome here because of the wedding? Was she worried about what my dad would think?
We hadn't talked to anyone about what was going on between us. I'd deferred to her since she was the one with a small child. I wasn't sure if she wanted Maya to know.
Now that Elena and Hudson were here, I could see how awkward it was to hide our relationship. I was used to touching and kissing her when Maya wasn't looking. But now I had to be on guard so that I didn't do anything while Elena or Hudson were watching.
Dad had already warned me not to screw this up. But I'd gone and gotten involved with her anyway. He'd be disappointed in me again.
I couldn't help wondering what it would be like if Kinsley and Maya lived here permanently. We could be a family.
Sure, we had to share Maya with Derek, but that was more people to love her. We could be happy together, couldn't we?
We'd worked together to get the bathrooms renovated, cooking meals, and navigating homework and bedtime with Maya. I was more than capable of being someone Kinsley could rely on, despite what my family had said over the years.
I was doing everything in my power to prove to her that I was the man for her. But what if she didn't want something permanent with me?
My stomach rolled with indecision, and the tightness in my chest persisted. After lunch, Maya wanted to go for a swim, and Kinsley took her upstairs to help her get ready.
I walked Elena and Hudson to the front door.
Elena hugged me. "Thanks for letting us use your home for the wedding."
"This is the family's home, and I want everything to be perfect for your big day." I never thought I'd say something like that. But it felt good to be there for my family. To help them in this way. I wanted to be someone that my family could count on too.
For so many years, I met everyone's low expectations of me. It was the first time I was allowing myself to rise up, to be better.
Elena hugged me. "It will be. Even if the renovations aren't completed."
"What kind of contractors do you think we are?" Hudson asked, pulling her back over to him. "We haven't met a deadline that we couldn't meet."
It felt good that Hudson sided with me. Maybe he'd developed a respect for me through this project. Whatever prompted the change, I appreciated his support.
Elena smiled at him, and my heart squeezed. I longed to have that kind of relationship with Kinsley. Where we could show everyone that we were together. I wanted to be free to touch and kiss her whenever I wanted.
I just wasn't sure if she desired the same thing. I couldn't forget that she talked about moving out. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable living here with me or the idea of us. I needed to talk to her about it.
Hudson pulled away from Elena and clasped my shoulder. "Let me know if you need any help. This is my project now too. Hell, it's all of ours. If you want this to be the family gathering place, then everyone should chip in."
My throat tightened. "That's not a bad idea."
"With all of us pitching in on evenings and weekends, we'll be done in no time," Hudson said.
"I'm not going to turn down help," I said as I opened the door for them. I'd turned over a new leaf. Not only could I do it myself if I had to, I was capable of asking for help. My pride wouldn't get in my way anymore.
"Gram would be proud of you," Hudson said as he passed through the doorway.
I waited for Hudson's truck to back out of the gate before I headed inside. I heard the splashes and squeals coming from the pool. I didn't want to miss out on any time with my girls, so I hurried upstairs and slipped on my trunks.
I headed downstairs and through the sliding door. I couldn't imagine living alone again, coming home to an empty house. This place was meant to be filled with love and laughter.
Kinsley sat on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water.
"Watch me!" Maya said to me before she ran along the diving board and jumped into the pool, cannonball style.
I waited for her to surface and then yelled, "Ready or not! Here I come!"
I landed in the water with a huge splash. When I resurfaced, Kinsley wiped the water from her face. I gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry about that."
She grimaced. "I don't think you are."
"It was fun. Wasn't it, Maya?" I swam to where she was treading water and lifted her into the air. She loved when I threw her into the pool.
She squealed each time and came back for more.
When we were tired out, I sat on the edge next to Kinsley while Maya played with some mermaid dolls. "It was a good day."
Kinsley moved her feet in the water. "I was worried about the wedding plans, but they seem to be coming along nicely. Hudson and Elena are so lucky to have someone to plan it for them."
"Linnea knows all the vendors and what to order. This way, we can focus on the renovations."
I wanted to ask her about her comments regarding moving, but I couldn't. Not with Maya nearby.
I wanted everything to be ready for the wedding, but I didn't want her to leave.
Things picked up the next week. I worked with my brothers at home, and our progress moved along more quickly. It was good to have help. I felt more confident that the place would be presentable before the wedding.
We made extensive plans to knock the kitchen out quickly. A few of us would work on it during the day, leaving our regular projects to our crew. It was a test of sorts to see if we could give our crew more responsibility.
If so, we could continue to expand the way Dad wanted us to. If we trusted our crew, we wouldn't need to be there all the time.
I suggested that we train one person on the crew as a sort of assistant project manager. Most of us worked with another person anyway. This was just expanding that role and offering them more money to do it.
It was the right thing to do, and I was happy that I could offer a solution. I was fairly sure there was respect in my dad's eyes at that particular business meeting.
I'd been so busy between work and the renovation, I hadn't had a chance to talk to Kinsley about her plans to move out. I'd rationalized it to myself that she just said that to show my brother that nothing was happening between us.
It was an elaborate ruse to throw him off the developing relationship between us, because whenever we were together, things were great. We spent a lot of time stargazing on the roof and making love until Kinsley had to return to her room solo.
I didn't like that she left me after we were together, but what other option did I have? We'd need to tell Maya about us, and I didn't want to do that until Kinsley was ready.
I figured after the wedding, things would slow down, and we'd be okay. I just needed to focus on finishing the renovation and hosting the perfect wedding for Hudson and Elena.
For once, I wouldn't let anyone down. The nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me that I should talk to Kinsley, but I could put it off until things slowed.
The one thing that was starting to scare me was how deep my feelings were for her. I hoped she felt the same. Because if not, I could get hurt.
On my way home, Dad called me into work. I detoured to the office, wondering if Kinsley would have already left to pick up Maya from the aftercare program at her school.
Not seeing her vehicle parked outside, I went down the hall to Dad's office. "You wanted to see me?"
Dad gestured toward the chair. "Sit down."
His office consisted of a utilitarian desk, two chairs for guests, and filing cabinets. It was the bare minimum for what he needed. He didn't believe in having a plush office. He was more concerned about the service we delivered.
"What's up?"
"How are things going at the house? Hudson said everyone is chipping in."
"I'm really grateful that everyone has stepped in to help. We're ahead of our timeline. I'm confident that we'll have the bathrooms ready so that we can get started on the kitchen."
"Good. I wanted to tell you how proud I am that you came up with the idea of using the kitchen renovation as a test for the assistant project managers. It was a good idea."
"Thanks." I couldn't remember the last time my dad had said he was proud of me. He usually preferred to ask me why I couldn't be more like Hudson or Cooper.
"You seem different."
Did he know about me hooking up with Kinsley? I didn't want to lie to him, but I still hadn't discussed with Kinsley going public yet.
I had to make it to the wedding. Then we'd figure everything out. Hopefully, we'd come up with a plan to tell my family.
We'd been living in our little bubble at my house and hadn't been challenged with outside stressors. The wedding would be the ultimate test.
"You seem to be more focused at work. Is it the home renovation?"
I hated when anyone criticized my focus.
It made me feel like the bad kid in class again.
The one who couldn't sit still or stop myself from calling out when the urge struck.
I was smart but didn't get good grades because I didn't see the point in showing my work or rechecking my answer. "I don't know what you mean."
Dad considered me. "You're doing a good job. Whatever the reason, keep it up."
Keep messing around with Kinsley? Done. I had no plans to change anything on that front anytime soon. I enjoyed my time with her, and if it made me more focused, then so be it. "I intend to."
"I wanted to talk to you about the video series you're doing online."
I shifted on the threadbare cushion. "Kinsley's still filming, but I didn't think we were getting much in the way of views."
Dad raised a brow. "It's steadily ticked up now that she posted on a different site. She created a channel for us and everything. It wasn't part of the plan, but I can't be upset about the results." He turned his screen toward me.
I leaned forward, not quite sure what I was supposed to be looking at. "What's this?"
Dad pointed to the numbers under each video. "This is how many times the video's been viewed."
I blew out a breath. "That's more than she told me."
"Well, she was probably giving you numbers from our old-social media accounts. My understanding is that this platform is better for that kind of thing. There's two new ones." Dad clicked through to another screen and showed me more videos with similar numbers.
"Is this a good thing?" If people watched us, that meant they liked it.
"I'd say so. There are a lot of comments about how cute you and Maya are together."
I made a mental note to download those apps to my phone and monitor the comments. "That's good."
Dad moved the computer to the side and folded his hands together. "It is, but I just wanted to check in and make sure you're not getting too attached to Kinsley and Maya. They're just there temporarily, right?"
"That's the plan," I said, resisting the urge to rub the tension in my neck.
"I told Ivy to talk to Kinsley about finding some suitable alternatives for an apartment."
Irritation traveled down my spine. "We've been so busy with the renovation; we haven't had time to deal with her moving."
"The wedding is coming up, and it doesn't make sense that one of our employees is living with you."
Dad stood, which was my cue to leave. He followed me to the door, where he laid a hand on my shoulder. "You're focusing on work, and I don't want you to get distracted."
Focus and distraction were my dad's two favorite words when it came to me. "Of course not."
He slapped my shoulder. "Glad we're on the same page. I can't wait for Hudson to get married. The house is going to look amazing, and Hudson will be settled and happy."
"You mean Mom will be happy?" I said as we headed to the counter where Dad rifled through the mail.
"If Mom's happy, everyone's happy." Dad chuckled. "I'll have to stop by and check on the progress."
I'd have to remember that when Maya was with her father. We tended to walk around in a general state of undress when we didn't have a child underfoot. We were free to be and do whatever we wanted. I didn't want to worry about my dad showing up unannounced. But the house was his mother's.
On the drive home, I thought about what Dad would say if he knew Kinsley and I were hooking up. He'd think I was acting impulsively again. That I'd screwed up somehow, but would he take it out on Kinsley? Would he fire her?
I didn't think so, but I couldn't be sure. If Dad thought she was distracting me from the job, I could see him removing her to prove a point.
I didn't like it, but the business wasn't completely ours yet. Dad still ran it, and if he didn't think we were up for the task, he'd never hand it over to us. I didn't want to be the reason that we didn't get the business or that Kinsley lost her job.
Maybe I should let Kinsley and Maya find another place to live, even if I hated the idea of being alone in that house.
I'd miss their laughter, their teasing, and the rambunctious moments when we played together. I hated the way my future looked. I just didn't see any way out of it.
If I stopped Kinsley from moving out, Dad would know there was something between us. I didn't want to do anything that would screw things up for her. She needed this job, and I didn't want to make her life worse.
I wanted to lift her up, not tear her down.