Chapter 12
“Roger and I are assigned to hang out with the kids who are afraid of fireworks,” Maggie said.
“Yeah, we’re going to watch a movie turned up extra loud and eat candy in the staff lounge. Happy Independence Day.” Roger held up his dirty-water coffee.
As a Fourth of July activity, each cabin picked one counselor to dress up to compete for the title of Miss Ugly USA.
Cubs cabin one was the winner—they had a secret weapon—Genie.
Not only did she understand the assignment, she had an arsenal of makeup and costumes as the head of theater.
The girls helped her dress. She had curlers rolled in her hair, her two front teeth blackened out, and a ragged blue dress with a red sash and her white bra on the outside.
I was one proud momma bear when Genie’s cabin won.
Later that night, the entirety of Woodlands sat around the baseball diamond, scattered between first, home, and third bases. Girls Camp wore their red-white-and-blue finest, their hair tied with bandanas, a gift from Marilyn and Jack.
The local fire company and their families were invited—they brought a fire truck—a treat for the kids as well as a precaution.
The pyrotechnics were set off in the outfield by Mike and Jack.
We were directly under the rockets bursting in the air and in our eardrums. Watching the sparkly array of colors as they bloomed in the sky was thrilling.
When the sky was lit, I glimpsed Zelda’s and Hazel’s awestruck faces.
The usual suspects were already in Mindy’s room by the time I finished tucking in the campers. I handed the bunk reports to Bethany, then went to the minifridge and took out an ice tray and a lime.
“Gilda brought us a present—you’ve got to try this stuff. It has a real kick to it,” Mindy said.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s a combination of all the clear liquors—gin, vodka, tequila, and rum, with lemonade mixed in,” Gilda said.
“Isn’t that a Long Island Iced Tea?” I shook my head. “I don’t have good memories of those.”
Mindy held it up. “I thought that was made with Coke.”
“And lemon juice. It’s my husband’s twist, no cola, only lemonade,” Gilda said.
Gilda offered me a sip from her cup. I brought it to my nose and my stomach flipped. “No thanks, I’ll stick to gin.”
“What does your husband call this concoction?” Bethany asked.
Gilda shrugged. “I don’t think he named it.”
“I know, let’s call it Jungle Juice,” Mindy said. “Cheers to Gilda and the mixologist she married!”
There was a text message from Ronnie: I have an appointment near Woodlands next week. Maybe we can meet. Call me.
Hearing from him at all was surprising. The fact that he was making time for me was shocking.
When I had driven out of NYC last month, we had barely been civil to each other.
It wasn’t only our arguments about camp, we had been fighting about anything and everything.
I thought I had made it clear that I wasn’t going to contact him, and he shouldn’t call me.
We had agreed that the next time we’d see each other would be Visiting Day at camp, two weeks away.
I wondered if this was some kind of grand gesture, making me a priority, or if he wanted to start divorce proceedings.
I used to know how he would react and how he felt about any situation, but over the past few years I had lost all insight into his inner thoughts.
I decided to call him from the privacy of Bethany’s room.
“Lori, how are the girls?”
“We’re all doing really well. I got to see Zelda and Hazel play softball, and Hazel is in the play. They both have good—”
“I don’t have much time to talk right now. Let me tell you what I’ve planned. One of my clients is only about an hour away from the camp. So, I thought after my appointment we could meet for dinner and have the conversation I’ve been putting off.”
“We’ve had so many unfinished conversations. I don’t even know which one you’re referring to.”
“That’s why I really want to sit down with you face-to-face before Visiting Day.”
“Can you give me a clue?”
“Not now, I have my client waiting on the other line.”
Seeing him probably wasn’t a good idea, but my curiosity won out. “Okay, sure.”
“Great, I’ll send you the details. I gotta run. Love you.”
Love you—did he mean it or was it just the perfunctory words you’re required to say to your spouse, especially when you’re in a bad place? Was it possible that since I’d been away, he realized how much he loved and missed me and wanted to fix things between us?
One of our open-ended conversations was about marriage counseling. He couldn’t have been more inconsiderate when I suggested it.
“I barely have time to take a crap. I don’t see how I can fit in a weekly meeting.”
I was trying my best to keep our family together because Zelda and Hazel worshipped their dad.
Ronnie’s next message said we had reservations at the fancy restaurant in town, and I should meet him at the bar at 8:00 p.m. I think the last time we’d met at a bar was before Zelda was born.
He had liked pretending we were strangers, and he was picking me up.
I showered and primped, tweezing and shaving for the first time since I got to camp.
I didn’t need any makeup because I was tan.
I wore a sundress, which surprisingly hung loosely on my frame.
It was a relief not having to spritz myself with bug spray after my shower.
I put the key in the ignition and wanted to feel optimistic, but all I felt was trepidation.
At 7:45 p.m., I slid onto a stool in the middle of the empty, dimly lit bar and ordered a glass of Sancerre.
The decor reminded me of a speakeasy, old and elegant, a relic from a different era.
While I nursed my drink, I rehashed conversations we’d had as I heard the ticks from the gilded clock above the bar.
Ever since Ronnie had made partner, his priorities had shifted. He would try to be home to have dinner with us while we ate dessert, then as he took on bigger, more high-profile cases, we were lucky if he was home in time to tuck in the girls.
At first, I hadn’t noticed the subtle changes. It was a new cologne a coworker turned him onto. Then it was his wardrobe. One day he came home wearing a cashmere sport jacket I’d never seen before.
“I usually have to coax you to go shopping, and now you went without me?”
“Yeah, Ed popped his head into my office and asked if I wanted to go with him to his tailor. When the managing partner asks you something like that, you say yes.”
One of the last conversations we had before I left for the summer drove home how inconsequential I had become in his life.
“Lori, try to understand the pressure I’m under. If I win, I’ll get a huge bonus and be the go-to person for these lucrative cases. I need to focus on my future right now.”
“Don’t you mean our future?”
He looked up from his work. “What? Oh, yes, sure, right, our future.” And then turned right back to his notes.
At 8:45, my phone finally buzzed.
“Hi, Lori, please don’t be upset, but I’m still with the client. He made dinner plans for me with a couple of his associates.”
I gripped the fragile stem of the wine glass so tightly I was afraid it would snap. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I won’t be able to meet you tonight. After the dinner I need to head straight to the office to pull an all-nighter to implement the issues we discussed.”
“Can’t one of your many lackies take care of it?”
“No, this is really important . . .”
“More important than me?”
“Lori, you’re being unfair . . .”
“I’m being unfair?! You have no idea how difficult it was for me to get this time off. I always rearrange my life to accommodate you, and I always end up disappointed. You have absolutely no respect for me.”
“Lori, I can’t argue with you right now, I have people waiting for me and—”
I cut him off with a terse, “Goodbye, Ronald.”
I shook with fury. I really wanted to tell him to go to hell—but—Zelda and Hazel.
I still had no idea why he’d even suggested our getting together. It would have been enlightening to find out which one of the many open-ended conversations he wanted to finish.
At least when I drove back to camp, there would be a gin & tonic and a much-needed smoke with Teddy.
Teddy lit our cigarettes. “I didn’t think I’d see you tonight. Abby told me you had a date with your husband.”
“Yeah, well, the evening didn’t go as planned.” I took a drag.
“You’ve been married for how long?”
“Fifteen years.”
“Impressive. Me and the ex barely eked out five.”
“Well, right now you wouldn’t consider ours a marriage goals situation. If you like a good pun—here’s one—the trial attorney is on a trial separation from his wife. When he made plans to meet me, well, I stupidly thought things would be different.” I turned to wipe the tears welling up.
We stood side by side, quietly smoking, caught up in our own thoughts. Teddy looked up and blew a smoke ring. “A separation, a break, like from that American sitcom, Friends?”
I scoffed. “I hadn’t thought about that, but sure, like Ross and Rachel but with two children and a mortgage.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, who initiated the estrangement?”
I didn’t answer right away. I took another drag of the cigarette and watched as the smoke dissipated into the night. “I’m tired of constantly being disappointed by him. So, yeah, it was me.”
“If it helps, me and the ex were always at odds. Sadly, it became the usual state of our marriage. For what it’s worth, I understand your frustration. Did you at least take yourself out for dinner?” he asked.
“I ended up sitting at the bar drinking and eating peanuts by myself.”
Teddy smiled. “Did anyone offer to buy you a drink? Because if I saw a beautiful woman like you, I would absolutely buy her a drink.”
Was he flirting with me? “Okay, let’s hear it, your best pickup line.”
“I find when I’m in your country all I have to say is hello. Women here seem to find my accent alluring.”
I burst out laughing.
“Laugh all you want, but it works.”
“Then tell me what you say when you’re home, just another Brit on the prowl.”
“If it were you, I’d probably ask if it was true what they say about redheads.”
There was that roguish grin.
“If nothing else, it made you smile. I’d take that as a sign to keep going.” He took a drag. “You should’ve called me. I would’ve gladly kept you company.”
I looked up at the stars, then I smiled at him.
Teddy returned my smile and said, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry your night didn’t work out as planned. But I’m happy you’re here with me sharing a smoke.”