20. Reading by Flashlight
I saw Mindy getting ready for our afternoon kayaking. She was zipping up a life vest when Mike, under the pretense of assisting her, trapped her against a tree. I called out to him the way you would to distract a dog.
“Hey, Mike, over here, you’re just the person I was looking for.”
He spun around and gave me a lewd smile.
“What did you have in mind?” His arms were akimbo—his Speedo was camouflage—making sure I got a full-frontal view of his charms.
I obviously hadn’t thought this through. Mike would probably misinterpret the gift I bought him and double down on his flirtations. I hesitated for a moment but decided to give it to him anyway. “I brought you a present.”
I handed him the bag.
“Such a tiny bag. Lori, did you buy me a Speedo?” He winked.
I didn’t want to laugh, but I couldn’t help myself. “No, seems you have an endless supply. This is something I’m pretty sure you don’t have.”
He pulled out We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.
“I was scared but you weren’t, and I will always be grateful for that.”
It took a second, but then he smiled, an honest, sincere smile. “Thank you. It’s nice to be appreciated.”
The moment was awkward, but before I could back away, he pulled me in for a bear hug, which under the circumstances seemed appropriate.
Teddy bent to light my cigarette with the precision of an athlete.
“I hope you’re feeling better,” he said.
I had a split-second debate in my head and said, “Yeah, I had horrible cramps and a headache for most of trip day.”
I watched Teddy’s face to see if he understood. “Oh, yes, your menses.”
I laughed. “Yes, my menses. My father used to ask me if I was ‘unwell.’ I told him I was perfectly well, but I had my period, although yesterday I was indeed unwell.”
Teddy blew three perfect smoke rings toward the twinkling stars. “I’m happy you’re feeling better. I missed your company last night.”
I took a drag and smiled at him. He held my gaze.
“Lori, I’m not very good at making friends. You know, not just a sports buddy. Someone I can talk to about things, real things. I consider you a friend.”
His vulnerability pierced my heart. The night was clear, and the moon was shining on his face. How’d I miss those striking green eyes? He was so easy to talk to, and I trusted him. “Yes, I also consider you a friend.”
He continued, “Maybe we can meet more often. I like telling you about my day and was disappointed I wouldn’t hear about yours. I was hoping you felt the same way.”
In a short time, Teddy had become more than a work colleague; he was my confidant. He always gave helpful advice, and I enjoyed his company. Plus, his voice and his accent were music to my ears. “Yes, I’d like that.”
I was having trouble falling asleep, so I opened The Boy Scout Handbook and started to read by flashlight. I even pulled the covers over my head for authenticity. For my own personal satisfaction, I learned in detail how to build a fire in the wilderness where there were no flues to be found.
The next day started with choice period, which meant that the campers were scattered throughout the campus. I spent as much time as I could at the Grease rehearsal because Hazel was cast as Frenchie, the beauty school dropout.
The campers seemed oblivious to the fact that they were performing in a sauna, their hair matted down, T-shirts sticking to their backs.
Despite it all they were smiling and singing their hearts out.
I, on the other hand, was sweltering by the back door, hoping for a breeze.
Sliding over the wooden bench to move closer to an open window, I felt a sharp pain in my leg.
“Ouch!”
A piece of wood lodged in the back of my thigh.
Maggie was across the field outside of arts another cube nestled in my cleavage, kept in place by my sports bra.
“That’s a brilliant idea, sticking an ice cube down your shirt. I’ll have to recommend that to the counselors,” Ella said. “But what will we suggest to the guys, stick it in their jockstrap? Which reminds me . . .” She knocked on the bathroom door. “Is everything okay in there?”
We heard a muffled grunt and then, “Yeah, almost done.”
“I wonder what could be taking him so long,” Ella said.
Connor, the guy Genie planned on losing her virginity with, emerged seconds later, proudly holding his specimen cup—it was filled with a gooey substance. Ella and I looked at each other. It took us a second to realize what was in the cup before we began laughing.
Connor, who seemed so proud of filling the cup, looked baffled. “I don’t get what’s so funny. You asked me to fill this cup, and I did.”
“You’re right, I’m so sorry. I’m acting extremely unprofessionally, and I apologize. We’re laughing because I needed your urine, not your sperm.”
“Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
“My fault, I should have been clearer. Again, so sorry,” Ella said.
Connor walked outside to the water cooler.
“How often does a mix-up like that happen?” I had to tell Teddy about this. He’d find it hilarious.
Ella shrugged. “First time for everything. Come with me—I’ll operate on you.”
“Is my injury serious? Are you going to have to send me home?”
“Not to worry, I expect you to make it. The only thing that can save you from camp is the calendar, and you still have more than half the summer left.” Ella pointed to the bulletin board. There was a big red X for each day that had passed.
“Ow!”
“All kidding aside, look at this, it’s huge.”
It was the size and shape of a darning needle. My throat went dry, and the room started spinning . . .
I came to on the examination table. There was a cold compress on my head, and my feet were elevated on a pillow. Ella was standing over me with a cup in her hand.
“How’re you feeling? You fainted. Here, drink some water—you’re dehydrated. The heat and the humidity are hard on the campers but even harder on us adults. We’re so busy running around taking care of the kids, we don’t drink enough water.”
I tried sitting up and plopped back down.
“Here, let me help you. Hold onto my arm.”
Ella pulled me up with one hand and deftly placed a pillow behind me so I could rest against the wall. I drank the water and immediately began feeling better.
Ella gave me an ice pop, and I tore off the wrapper. “So, you have to faint to get one of these?”
“Or you can masturbate.” She smiled.
I nearly snorted the cherry ice through my nose.
“Come on, I had to give him one, I mean we were laughing at him.” She added, “We can’t let that piece of information leak—we wouldn’t be able to keep up with the demand.”
“I had a confrontation with Jack today,” I told Teddy that night.
“Lucky you, what happened?”
“It was choice period and he wanted to know why one of the Cubs, Jamie, wasn’t rollerblading. He said her mother was adamant about Jamie learning to skate, so she could work on her balance. Jamie had no interest in skating. She just wanted to sit at the potter’s wheel.”
“And?”
“Let me ask you this, if you wanted your child to skate, wouldn’t you send rollerblades with her?”
“Ideally.”
“I grabbed skates from the closet of a bunkmate. Jamie immediately fell on her butt and could barely make it from one side of the enclosure to the other. After about ten minutes, she asked if she could stop. I knew that Jack was listening, so I told Jamie, ‘There’s only ten more minutes left till lunch. Why don’t you try going back and forth a couple more times?
’ She reluctantly rolled away by pulling herself along the gate.
Then Jack said, ‘Good girl.’ I decided to give him an out, and I said, ‘Yes, Jamie is certainly trying as hard as she can.’ He doubles down with, ‘I wasn’t talking about Jamie. I said you’re a good girl.’”
Teddy had a huge grin on his face. “I can’t wait to hear what you said to him.”
“I told him, ‘The last person to call me a good girl was my father when I was about ten. I would prefer it if you don’t treat me like a child.’”
Teddy said, “Good for you.”
“I was glad I called him out just to see the look of surprise on his face. Then his lips curled into a sinister smile. He looked me in the eye and said, ‘No one here has ever spoken to me that way.’”
“I love that you didn’t back down.”
“I said, ‘In what way, honestly and truthfully? Because that’s all you’re ever going to get from me.’ Then he said, ‘No one challenges me. It might be interesting to have someone question my authority. Just don’t do it in front of any of the staff.’”
Teddy clapped. “Well played, Kramer. Well played.”