Chapter 42
A sea of ponytails was forming at the base of the hill in front of the gymnastics shed.
It was the meeting spot where each DL handed out three-by-three wooden rafts, each with a candle mounted in the center.
As the Cubs streamed past me, I counted forty-eight heads for the fifty-sixth night in a row, pleased that one of my biggest fears had never happened: Trip day aside, I hadn’t lost a camper.
Becky had broken her arm on my watch, but Teddy had assured me that at least one camper broke some part of their body each summer.
He told me he’d had three consecutive summers when a camper had either broken a toe, an ankle, or a leg during soccer.
“Don’t worry, it happens, they’re young, and they heal.
” He had laughed. “And they’ll always remember you. ”
Following them down the sandy path lit by a full moon framed by twinkling stars, I watched clusters of Cubs arm in arm with their heads leaning into each other, probably realizing that after tonight they wouldn’t be waking up next to each other for another ten months.
Zelda’s and Hazel’s groups were far ahead of mine. I was lucky to share this night with them, but camp was about friendships. Even if I caught up to them, I wouldn’t intervene and ruin the intimacy of their bonds.
I pushed the reality of having to leave Teddy to the back of my mind. I wanted to be present for my campers and counselors.
I had walked this path several times a day, either briskly in the early morning or later in the day with my bunks at a more leisurely pace.
Tonight felt different. It was mesmerizing, watching the girls slowly amble down the pathway.
Faces in shadows, the six-foot-tall reeds snapping on either side, frogs croaking, crickets singing, and the murmurs of the campers formed a melodic ambience.
I was swept up by the surge of energy in the air and felt like I was in the only place in the world that mattered.
I caught up to the front of my bunks so I could walk with Abby who was at the rear of her group alongside Maggie. I wanted to experience the last night of camp with them.
“Have you ever been struck by a moment you know will stay with you for the rest of your life, and you’ll see things differently because of it?” I asked.
They agreed and we linked arms.
“I love that we got to share it together. I consider our friendship the silver lining around all the chaos we lived through. Without the two of you, I’d never have made it till tonight.”
“We were just saying the same about you. Like we’ve known you forever,” Maggie said.
By the time the Cubs rounded the bend, the lake was ablaze with candles floating in the inky blackness of the water.
The big dipper sparkled clearly in the night sky—it seemed as if we were enveloped by light from above and below.
I stopped in my tracks, amazed at what I saw and how I felt.
As if I’d stepped into a place of worship.
Suddenly, the sand I’d walked on all summer grounded me in a way that felt spiritual, ethereal.
I stepped aside, making sure that I saw the Cubs’—my campers’—reactions when they got a glimpse of the spectacle on the lake. I saw the shimmering lights reflected in their eyes, and each girl, including the counselors, looked enthralled.
Soft singing off to my right added to the aura. Their sweet voices deepened the feeling that this evening was enchanted.
Bethany and Mindy made sure all the candles were lit and each Cub held a tiny flame in their hands.
Bethany told them, “Don’t forget to make a wish before you send your candle into the water.”
The girls bent down to release their desires along with the others already melting into the night.
Standing with Mindy and Gilda, Bethany asked the DLs to form a circle.
“I want to say something now that we’re all together on this last night of camp.
Thank you for all your hard work this summer.
I know it wasn’t always easy, but I want you to know that I truly appreciate each one of you.
” Bethany looked us in the eye. “Let’s float our candles together in the name of friendship. ”
At that moment I felt so much love for Bethany and these other women who’d stood by me all summer.
I wanted to personally thank each one for getting me through these intensely wacky months.
My thoughts were about to gush out of my mouth when Mindy said, “Bethany, I swear, sometimes you’re such a sentimental fool. ”
The other ladies snickered but my feelings aligned with Bethany’s. I gave her a one-armed hug, making sure not to singe her hair, and whispered, “Thank you for your leadership and guidance, but more importantly for your friendship and telling me it would be a mistake to leave camp.”
Tears streamed down Bethany’s face. “Thank you for keeping my family whole and for picking up the slack.”
She took my hand and led us to the water’s edge. Abby, as always, was on my left. Bethany squatted and I was on my knees. We were ready to release our candles.
“I’m thanking the camp gods for letting me make it through one more summer intact.” Mindy floated her candle.
“I’m grateful for an entire summer of no housework, and for not having to pay two camp tuitions.” Gilda pushed hers into the lake.
Bethany, Abby, and Maggie let theirs float away in silence.
The aspirations I had for Zelda and Hazel had come to fruition. I’d watched them mature, becoming more resilient, more confident, but most importantly I knew that they’d look out for each other. Their love and respect for each other and for me was apparent.
I probably should wish for my marriage to be repaired, but there was no denying it, my desire for Teddy had blossomed into love. In Teddy speak, I was completely besotted.
Who had I become that I’d even consider walking away from a fifteen-year marriage for a man I’d known for two months?
Was that personal growth or insanity? There was no one I could confide in at camp.
I thought of telling Claire. If she was close enough to give me a vibrator then she was definitely close enough to confide in.
But calling her wasn’t an option until I could answer the questions she would invariably ask such as, “What about your girls?” Plus, all our college friends adored Ronnie and thought we were the ideal couple. What a joke that was.
I released my candle into the lake as if it were a coin tossed into the Trevi Fountain, wishing to return next summer to continue the love story I shared with Teddy.
“Hey, ladies, get it together. Marilyn’s ready to burn the numbers. We need to head over,” Gilda said.
All of Girls Camp watched Marilyn as she touched the torch to the lighter fluid soaked rags that were arranged on a chain link fence in the shape of the numbers representing the year.
“This doesn’t look like it’s going to end well,” Maggie said.
Mindy pointed. “Over there, a little bit behind Marilyn, Mike’s got a fire extinguisher.”
Sure enough, Mike was ready as usual to save the day, wearing the equivalent of a Speedo for after-hours: crotch-hugging jeans, bare feet, and a camp hoodie with the zipper only a third of the way up his torso. No shirt.
“Look at him, dressed like some kind of Greek god. Really, who’s he trying to impress?” Abby asked.
“Over there, near the bushes,” Bethany said.
There was Anya with a look of pure adoration and lust, gazing upon her summer Poseidon. My Adonis was somewhere across the camp.
“It’s enough to make you want to puke,” Mindy said.
I couldn’t put it off any longer. The news about the camp ownership was going public, and I wanted Ronnie to hear it from me directly, not by email.
I made the call from the privacy of Bethany’s room. “Hi, Jana, it’s Lori. Can I speak to Ronnie?”
“He’s busy right now preparing for an extremely high-profile case. Can I take a message?”
“This is really important. I need to speak to him right now.”
“Are the girls okay?” Jana asked.
Was she screening my call? “Yes, the girls are fine, but I need to speak to him.”
“I don’t think you appreciate how important Ronnie’s work is to him and to the firm.”
She had to be fucking kidding me—lecturing me about my husband and keeping him from me.
I decided now was a good time to see if my suspicions about Ronnie and Jana were correct.
I snickered into the phone. “Jana, does he tell you his wife just doesn’t understand him?
Did he tell you that when you were sipping Ouzo, overlooking the Mediterranean? ”
There was an audible gasp and then silence. I could practically hear her heart thumping through the receiver. She finally said, “Give me a sec.”
I must have really flustered Jana because she didn’t press mute. “Your wife’s on the phone,” she said. “You told me not to tell anyone you took me to Greece. How did she find out?”
I couldn’t make out Ronnie’s muffled response. Jana tersely said, “I’ll transfer you, but he told me to tell you to keep it brief.”
“Ronnie here.”
“No, ‘Hello, Lori, how are you?’”
“I don’t have time right now. Can it wait? I have a deadline.”
“Quickly then: I’m buying the camp.” I made a split-second decision. “And I’ll need to stay here longer. You’ll take the girls on vacation without me. Good luck with your deadline.”
“Lori, wait. What?”
“What part didn’t you understand?”
“You said you’re buying the camp?”
“Yes.”
“That makes no sense. I won’t allow that. Nothing you said makes any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense to me. You’ll take the girls on vacation while I stay at Woodlands so I can do—what’s that word you always use?—reconnaissance.”
“I have to go. Can we talk about this when you’re home?” He sounded annoyed.
“Perfect, so we’ll talk in a week or so. Don’t forget to pick your children up from the bus. Have fun at the beach.” I hung up.
My brain was humming—Jana and Ronnie’s affair had just been confirmed. I’d pondered this scenario, and there it was—like a slap in the face.
I wasn’t innocent. This wasn’t a case of being the wronged woman, since I spent my days counting the minutes until I’d be kissing Teddy. Would I admit to my affair and then work on repairing our marriage, or would we both walk away? If our children weren’t involved, my answer would be easy.
Was I even upset that Ronnie was screwing his secretary? It was such a cliché. That made me the bored housewife shagging the soccer coach. My actions were as horrible to him as his were to me, only he didn’t know it—yet.
Zelda and Hazel. I kept thinking about Chloe and how she’d fallen apart after Visiting Day. She was a happy camper until her parents refused to show up together. I’d never want to cause my children that level of misery.
Teddy. Yes, I loved him, but we’d made one rule together—when the summer was over, we were over. Would that change if I decided to walk away from my marriage?
Surprisingly, I wasn’t crying, even though all the truths I had brought with me to camp were tumbling down, out of control. The inevitable earthquake would split the foundations of our children’s lives, with me on one side and their dad on the other.
If Ronnie bothered to call me back, I wouldn’t take the call.
As I had done for the past one hundred and sixty meals, I looked at the four tables of Cubs, counting off each camper.
I remembered how nervous I’d been about meeting and taking care of these forty-eight girls.
Now, as I watched them finishing the conversations that began on that very first day and were still going strong, I smiled.
“Leah, you must be happy. Don’t you get your puppy today?” I asked.
“So excited.”
“Tell me, were you really homesick, or did you just play your parents?”
Leah turned beet red and giggled. I laughed and gave her a hug.
Sarah was animatedly chatting with Jada. They had started hanging out the night of the dance when Sarah finally broke out of her shell.
I placed my hands on their backs and asked, “Will you get together during the winter months?”
Sarah put her arm around Jada. “Definitely.”
Kacie stood up and gave me a hug. “Lori, I’m going to miss you. If I write to you, will you write me back?”
“Of course.”
“Jamie, I know you weren’t a fan of rollerblading, but what was your favorite part of camp?” I asked.
“Learning how to use a potter’s wheel.”
“Do you think you’ll be back next summer?”
“I’d rather go to an arts camp. I don’t really like sports, especially skating.” She gave me a small sad smile.
“I’d miss you, but I’d understand.”
I made sure to touch each child on her back whispering something personal into her ear.