Chapter 22
Opinion: Sometimes what you don’t say matters more than what you do.
—Delilah Dune, opinion writer
A llison sipped her coffee and sighed. “I can’t believe that’s what you said to him.”
“Why?” Lyla asked, even though she had a pretty good idea why her friend would say that.
“You told Travis that sleeping together changed nothing. Are you kidding? It changes everything between you two.”
“For me, maybe, but not him. He’s a guy,” Lyla said, as if that was sufficient rationale.
Allison shook her head. “That doesn’t mean he’s heartless. You two were close once. You’re growing close again. What makes you think that having sex wouldn’t mean anything to Travis?”
Lyla massaged her forehead in an attempt to get her thoughts straight. “Do you think that’s why he seemed upset?”
“Uh, yeah.” Allison nodded definitively. “The hit to his ego must have been massive.”
Guilt pummeled Lyla’s gut. “I was just trying to protect my own ego. But in hindsight, that seems kind of selfish, I guess.” She blew out a breath, thankful to have a friend to talk to right now. After her breakup with Joe, she’d needed someone to vent to. “What do I do?”
“You tell him you’re sorry, and that last night meant more to you than you let on,” Allison said.
Was that true? It had meant more, but how much more?
“Honesty is always best.” Allison offered a definitive nod.
“You’re a good friend.” Lyla sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly realizing something she hadn’t considered. “I know you and my mom are friends too. Please don’t tell her I slept with Travis.” How mortifying. She didn’t share details like that with her mother.
Allison waggled her brows. “How many Dinnerware purchases is it worth to you for me to keep mum?”
“I’ll buy the whole lot,” Lyla promised, knowing her friend was only yanking her chain.
“Deal!”
They both started giggling.
“But seriously, your mom and I are friends, but it isn’t that kind of friendship. She’s the kind who comes over and listens to me cry about life. And I do the same for her. She’s not the kind I share other stuff with. Like sex stuff.”
Lyla cringed. “My mom and I have never had that kind of relationship either.”
“So,” Allison lifted a brow, “was he any good in bed?”
Lyla’s jaw dropped at the boldness of the question. She was still getting used to having a close friend to share these details with. Nudging Allison’s arm, she said, “You first. Is TJ any good?”
“I don’t kiss and tell.” Allison lifted her chin, looking prim and proper, but Lyla knew she was only joking.
“Me either. Not usually. But yes, he was amazing. Not that I have much experience. Just Joe.”
Allison looked surprised. “Ernie was kind of an aggressive lover. Not in a bad way, but I had bite marks sometimes.”
Lyla’s eyes rounded. “Bite marks?”
Allison burst into giggles. “I really am your first female friend, aren’t I? You’ve never heard other women’s stories.”
“Maybe I haven’t missed anything if it involves vampire lovers.”
They both started laughing again, harder and longer. Aside from Travis, Lyla wasn’t sure when she’d enjoyed someone’s company so much. And before returning to Echo Cove, she hadn’t had a good friend who made her laugh until she cried. She hadn’t realized what she’d been missing. “Thanks for putting my head back on straight.”
“Anytime.” Allison took a loud sip of her coffee. “Now I need you to return the favor.”
“Oh?” Lyla noticed Allison’s whole demeanor shifted. “What’s going on? Is it about TJ?”
Allison looked down at her coffee cup. Lyla realized Allison’s hands were suddenly shaking. “This is decaf coffee. Mine, not yours.”
“Decaf? Why on earth would you be drinking decaf?” Lyla asked.
When Allison didn’t immediately answer, Lyla’s brain began to piece together the only reason that made sense.
“You’re pregnant? With TJ?” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Is it true?”
Allison’s face flushed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve thrown up three mornings in a row, and I never throw up. Only when I was pregnant before.” Her skin paled. “Lyla, I can’t be pregnant. I don’t want to be pregnant.”
Lyla reached for her friend’s hand. “If you are, it’ll be fine. It doesn’t matter that you’re not married or that you’re not in love. Women raise babies on their own all the time.”
“That’s not it.” Allison drew a hand to her throat as she seemed to swallow past a tightness in it, her eyes suddenly wide and shiny. “I can’t have another child. I’ve had two, and I lost them both. I can’t go through that again. It’ll destroy me, Lyla.”
Lyla squeezed her hand. “Hey, that’s not going to happen. You won’t lose another child.”
“But I could. That knowledge would hang over my head. It’ll paralyze me. Just wondering if I’m pregnant and knowing that I might lose some imaginary baby is terrifying.”
The Allison that was giggling until she cried just minutes ago was now about to cry for real.
“Hey, it’s all right. Everything is okay. Before you panic even more, you need to take a test.”
“A test?” Allison repeated.
“To know if you are or aren’t. You might not be pregnant at all. You might just have a virus or something.”
Allison nodded, the motion so small that it was barely noticeable. “You’re right. I could be sick.” Hope flashed in her eyes.
“In which case, you’re getting me sick,” Lyla said, trying to lighten the mood. “Thanks a lot.”
“I can’t buy a test,” Allison said in a tinny voice. “This is Echo Cove. The cashier will see the test and tell every customer who comes in after that. Or I’ll grab the test and run into everyone I know. Then everyone in town will talk about me and how irresponsible I am. I lost two kids and now I’m bringing another into the world.” Tears rolled down Allison’s cheeks. “How did I let this happen?”
“Can’t TJ buy the test for you?” Lyla asked.
“TJ? No, he can’t know. I don’t want to get him involved. He’s the kind of guy who’ll go out and buy me a ring if he thinks I’m carrying his baby.”
“He is?” Lyla was surprised.
“He’s old-fashioned in that way.” Allison dropped her face in her hands. “I am screwing up the little bit of happiness that I’ve finally found. I don’t want him to propose just because he thinks he has to.”
Lyla reached out and squeezed Allison’s forearm. “I’ll buy you a test, okay? It’ll be fine.”
Allison looked up, her lips parted, hope playing in her bloodshot eyes. “You’ll do that for me?”
Lyla didn’t want to. She didn’t even like buying tampons at the store. A pregnancy test would be so much harder to purchase. But she didn’t know everyone in town anymore. The probability that she’d run into someone she knew who would find her life interesting enough to gossip about was low. “Of course, I will.”
Allison threw her arms around Lyla’s neck. “Thank you, Lyla. Thank you so much. I’m so glad we’re friends.”
Later that evening, Travis wasn’t answering his phone, so Lyla got into her car and drove to his RV. He couldn’t ignore her forever. And he couldn’t stay mad at her forever either.
She turned onto the dirt path where his RV was currently parked and followed it to his blue pickup truck. Travis was already sitting outside in his chair, as if he were waiting for her.
“Hey.” Lyla walked toward him, stopping when she was a couple feet away.
“I didn’t know I’d be seeing you today.”
“I tried to call. You didn’t answer. Are you ignoring me?” she asked, wringing her hands.
Travis didn’t answer for a moment. “I guess you could say so. I just needed some space and time. To think.”
“If you’re thinking about what I said, then stop. I didn’t mean it.”
His eyes narrowed as he watched her. “Which part?”
Lyla took the seat next to his. “When I said sleeping together didn’t change anything. It does. I just meant that I don’t want it to change the fact that we’re friends. I care about you, and I don’t want to mess things up between us. I just found you again.”
“Don’t you mean that I found you? You were pushing a bike with a flat tire in the rain storm, if I recall.”
“You found me,” she agreed. “And I’m so glad. I’m not sorry about last night either. It was a great night. I just wish I hadn’t messed up our morning with my big mouth. I’m sorry. Truly sorry, Travis.”
Something in his eyes softened. “I guess I took what you said a little too personally. I think it’s because I like you, Ly. It wasn’t just a one-night stand for me.”
“Me either,” she said in almost a whisper.
Travis leaned toward her, and she felt her insides light up, because she knew he was coming in for a kiss, and she wanted that more than anything.
“Wait,” she said right before his lips met hers.
He paused and lifted his gaze from her mouth to her eyes. “Yeah?”
“Saying that I’m not just a one-night stand implies there might be a second time.”
The corner of his mouth quirked. “That’s not up to me. If it were, there’d be at least a dozen more times before I go.”
Before he went. Right.
She implored herself not to think about next month, next week, or even tomorrow. That was the real reason that she’d tried to make last night irrelevant. It didn’t matter how much it did or didn’t change things, because neither of them lived in Echo Cove anymore. There wouldn’t be a relationship.
“Do you have anywhere to be right now?” Travis asked, leaning toward her and sprinkling kisses along her cheek and neck.
“No,” she whispered. There was nowhere she’d rather be right now. Her brain short-circuited and her body took over. A kiss had never felt like this, especially not the closed-mouth kind.
“How about we go in the RV and make this agreement of ours to avoid the one-night stand official?”
Lyla’s yearning was on a scale she’d never known. She’d thought what she was feeling was part of the fairy tale lie, yet here she was, heart hammering and body trembling like a character in a romance novel. “Yes,” she said simply. She didn’t need more words. At this moment, she was counting on actions speaking louder.
An hour later, Lyla got up just like she had that same morning and started reaching for her clothes.
“Already?” Travis asked.
She paused and turned to him. “I need to get home. There’s still packing left to do. But know that . . .” She paused, not wanting to sound cheesy or more invested than he was.
“I know.” Travis leaned in and pressed a kiss to her mouth. “See you later.”
“Mm-hmm.” She continued dressing and then headed out of his RV. It was convenient that he was parked in the middle of nowhere, where no one would see her coming and going. Not that she was hiding him in the way that Allison was hiding TJ.
Allison and TJ. Right.
Lyla needed to get that test for Allison like she’d promised. Poor Allison was probably freaking out right now.
What would Lyla do in her situation? She’d never been pregnant, but she’d fantasized about having a baby—one day. If she and Joe had gotten pregnant, she wouldn’t have been disappointed. It would have been a shock, but she would have probably embraced motherhood.
Allison was in a completely different boat with TJ, though. She’d had children, and she’d been through an unimaginable trauma. Plus Allison and TJ weren’t ready to go public with their relationship. They apparently wanted to keep their relationship under wraps. There was something romantic about that. A secret relationship. Possibly a secret baby too.
Lyla drove to the closest grocery store and parked. She wanted to be a good friend and help Allison any way she could, which meant walking inside that store, putting a pregnancy test in her basket, and buying it as quickly as she could. That’s what friends were for.
Pushing the car door open, she walked with determination. She probably looked a mess. She’d just had an hour of cardio in Travis’s bed. Had she even brushed her hair? She swiped a hand over the top of her head, attempting to tame any stray strands without a mirror as she scanned the aisles and looked for one that might carry pregnancy tests. Deciding that aisle nine seemed like the right one, she headed in that direction, glancing around as if she was doing something wrong.
When Lyla got to the end of aisle nine, there was an older woman looking at other feminine products. Lyla didn’t recognize her, which was a relief. Lyla redirected her attention to the tests. She spotted a pink box that looked like a good option. Glancing around to make sure no one she knew was around, she tossed the box in her basket. Then she walked quickly toward the register, holding her breath, on a mission to purchase and leave.
“Lyla! Lyla Dune, is that you?”
Lyla’s usual freeze response didn’t win this time. Instead, she was in full flight mode as she picked up speed, walking toward the checkout lane.
“Lyla? Oh, Lyla—it’s me, Jamie McClendon!”
Jamie McClendon. A face immediately came to mind. Jamie was the school’s biggest gossip. What were the odds that Jaime would be here now?
Unable to avoid her old acquaintance, Lyla stopped walking and slowly turned, because not doing so would make her rude. And Lyla didn’t want that to turn into some sort of gossip. She could just hear the story now. Guess what? Nice girl Lyla Dune has turned into a snob since becoming a nationally acclaimed writer. She thinks she’s better than us.
Clearing her throat, she faced Jamie. “Hi, there. Long time no see.”
Jamie was practically glowing. She was the same age as Lyla, but she looked ten years younger. “I was just thinking about you the other day. Remember that time you nearly drowned in the lake?”
Lyla wrinkled her brow, as if stumped by the random throwback. Was that the first thing Jamie thought of when she remembered Lyla? “I’m sorry?”
“Oh, come on. You remember, don’t you? Or did you hit your head when you fell in the water?” Jamie looked briefly concerned. “It was a nasty fall.”
“I remember. Yes.” Lyla only wished she could forget. It was a long time ago, but something about that fall had molded some deep part of her. “Why were you thinking about that?”
“Oh, well, because my son was teasing his friend for not jumping. He said that there’s no way to get hurt on that plank, but I begged to differ. I told them both how you fell and nearly drowned. If not for Mr. Tibbs.”
Lyla hugged her shopping basket closer. “Mr. Tibbs?”
“You know. The owner of the hardware store. He was the one who pulled you out of the water.”
Lyla’s mouth fell open.
“You don’t remember?” Jamie asked. “He was your real-life hero.”
Lyla stared at Jamie blankly. Her mind refused to categorize Mr. Tibbs in the hero column of her brain. He was an old curmudgeon. “Mr. Tibbs doesn’t even like me. Why would he pull me out of the water?”
“Well, someone needed to. Was he supposed to let you sink?” Jamie cackled quietly and then noticed Lyla’s basket. “Well, well. Are congratulations in order?”
Everything inside Lyla shriveled. “Oh. No.” She shook her head quickly. “This test isn’t for me. It’s not mine.”
Jamie gave her a skeptical look. “It’s none of my business anyway. I’m just glad to see you. Bernadette told me you were in town.”
Lyla looked up. “She did?”
“Mm. Can’t keep anything under wraps in Echo Cove, you know.” Jamie glanced at the pregnancy test again. “But don’t worry. I’ll keep this little secret between us.” She tipped her head at the pregnancy test. Before Lyla could reiterate that it wasn’t for her, Jamie waved and walked away. “Hopefully, I’ll see you around,” she called behind her. “I’ve got to get going. I’m a soccer mom, and soccer moms can’t be late. Bye!”
“Bye!” Lyla beelined toward the register, hoping Jamie wouldn’t mention the test to anyone. Not that it mattered. Hardly anyone in Echo Cove knew Lyla anymore.
As Lyla stepped up to the register, the clerk reached into the basket and pulled out the box, staring at it for a moment. She looked at Lyla’s face and then Lyla’s midsection.
Seriously? If I’m showing already, then I wouldn’t need a test, now, would I?
Lyla pulled out her debit card and waited impatiently.
“That’ll be eight dollars and seventy-five cents,” the cashier finally read out.
Lyla laid a ten-dollar bill down. After the woman made change, Lyla grabbed her bag, thanked the cashier, and practically ran through the parking lot. Once inside her car, she closed the door behind her, feeling like she’d just navigated an escape room. Then she started her engine and drove over to Allison’s house. There was no meat delivery truck in the driveway. Allison was probably alone and likely biting her nails to nubs. Grabbing the plastic grocery bag, Lyla got out and walked up the driveway.
When Allison answered the door, her eyes were red-rimmed.
“Please tell me you haven’t been worrying yourself over the what-ifs.” Lyla held up the bag. “For you.”
Allison took the bag and blew out a ragged breath. “Thank you. I’m not ready for this just yet. TJ and I . . .” Her chin quivered and tears flooded her eyes.
Oh, no.
“We got in an argument and, well, he said maybe we should give each other some space. Apparently, according to him, I’ve been acting secretive and dramatic.”
“Did you tell him that you might be pregnant?” Lyla asked.
“No”—Allison shook her head quickly—“of course not. And since we’re kind of broken up, I’m not in a place to take this test right now. Emotionally.”
Lyla was disappointed, but she understood. Allison must be so scared right now. Life as she knew it was threatening to be flipped upside down. “What do you need from me?” Lyla asked.
“You’ve done enough.” Allison smoothed a lock of hair out of her face. “I think I just want to be alone right now.”
“You’re sure? I can stay.”
“I’m sure. Thanks, Lyla. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Allison avoided Lyla’s eyes.
“Okay. You can change your mind and call me back anytime. Even in the middle of the night. I’ll come over whenever.”
“Thanks. Who needs a boyfriend with a friend like you?” Allison took a step back, practically closing the door in Lyla’s face. “Night, Lyla.”
Lyla stood there until the door was fully shut, listening to the deadbolt click into place. Turning, she headed back to her car. She didn’t want to leave her friend upset, but she couldn’t stay when Allison had asked to be alone. Lyla remembered those days after Joe had left. She’d just wanted to be alone too, but then again, no one had asked if she’d needed them to stay. All her friends in her old town had been Joe’s first, and they’d chosen him in the breakup, leaving Lyla to grieve alone.
She’d never realized the value of a good friend. Being one and having one.
Lyla got into her car and backed out of the driveway. Time to go home. Scratch that. It was her parents’ home. At least until it sold, which would hopefully happen soon.
When she got there, she stepped onto the back porch and looked up at the dark sky. It was clear tonight. One wouldn’t even know a hurricane was barreling toward the coast. One wouldn’t know this wasn’t the same sky of yesteryear either. This time, though, unlike that summer when she was eighteen, she hoped Hurricane Bill took mercy on the small town of Echo Cove—despite the two items still left unchecked on her and Travis’s bucket list.
August 25
Dear Diary,
There’s a hurricane on its way. What if it wipes us all off the planet? What if I never go to college or kiss a boy? What if I never write a novel—oh wait, yes, that’s right. That dream has already been crushed. Not by mother nature, but by man. A real jerk of a man, in my opinion.
Mom and Dad are boarding the windows and fearing the worst. If I don’t write in you tomorrow, you’ll know it’s because of Hurricane Billy. How much can a redneck hurricane actually do?
Lyla